Oh! I can't believe I forgot--it is so helpful to hear how you navigated the social pressures in your own life and how you decided to live life on your terms--yes, that included children but it wasn't b/c society told you to -- it's because you really wanted them in your life. (Obviously, only say this if it is true).

Hearing that others even those who "fit" into the traditional model are doing so because they WANT to and made purposeful decisions is really refreshing.

Oh u/throwaway382629 THANK YOU SO MUCH for asking this question.

As a professional counselor by training I always default back to listening first, asking real questions that are not based in personal needs/desires, and give yourself permission to love someone who is different. One or more of these will be easier than the others and that will depend on the parents themselves and the relationship as a whole.

Additionally, if you are really wanting to support and help them through the process you can recommend the following the books (and you can read or skim yourself) the following books:

“Olive” by Emma Gannon — if you’re the only one in the friend group who doesn’t want kids
“Motherhood” by sheila heat — if you’re on the fence
“Childfree by Choice” by Amy Blackstone — if you’re great with kids but don’t want your own
“Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed” by Megan Daum — for a range of perspectives

Another way to help is when you are in social situations with that person is to help them have discussions outside of children--as a whole including discussion of status of uterus use. This is also a great way to deepen your relationship with these people because you both will connect on a deeper level.