Hi!

Firstly I am really sorry, that your partner had these experiences and that you have both had to manage difficulties with the healthcare systems in response.

I think there is no easy answer to this one, and unfortunately the risk assessment questions which are needed from a clinical point of view can feel like they get in the way sometimes. They are the best tool we have and it's important to try to assess risk but they're not a very good one.

In terms of what can be done in response to a lack of compassion - I think it depends on your level of energy partly. You could write to an individual clinician to give feedback, or it's always possible to complain - in the UK the Patient Advisory and Liaison Service is independent and can manage complaints about the service you have been involved with. Making a complaint means it gets put on record and the clinicians involved will get that feedback, which hopefully will help improve the service. However it depends on whether you feel that this would be helpful for you as well - if you feel like you have the time and inclination to put a complaint together. I'm not saying this to put you off at all - just to acknowledge that this can sometimes feel like an extra burden.

Whatever you decide, I really hope you find some support which is helpful for both your partner and you.