Submitted by ShortingBull t3_yi8otq in Jokes
I run down stairs and open the door. There's a bloke there looking a bit desperate and says, "I know it's really late, but can you give me a push". I tell him to piss off and I go back to bed.
Wife asks who it was - I tell her. She says I'm a right cunt for not helping and I should give him a push.
I shoot back down stairs and out the front looking for the car, I can't see him so I yell out "where are you" he replies, "I'm over here on the swing".
He probably meant he wants a push on the swing lol
Wow, you think so?
Sounds like he might be named Methaniel
yeah not a broken down car lol
World's smartest redditor
Welcome to r/Jokes Captain Obvious.
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r/thatsthejoke
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If I understand it correctly >!asking for a push would imply your car broke down and needed to be pushed to the side of the road or a nearby station, but this guy was actually wanting to be pushed on a swing!<
The husband yells into the darkness, "Pump your fucking legs, mate!"
No, no. Clearly he figured that since the guy was an asshole and wouldn't help him push his car, he'd just sit on the swings waiting until someone came by he could wave down.
saudades do cafézinho na pop rock
The stranger was actually naked on top of his wife
Yep. Have definitely whooshed a lot of people here ;)
thatsthejoke.mp3
Only if down under aye?
We are not used to this level of brilliance around here, mate. Absolutely stunned.
So I ran back upstairs and said, "honey c'mon we need your help too"
We got to the stairs and I pushed her ass off and yelled,
"You swingers and cunts better let me get my rest or I'll be grumpy in the morning!"
Is the vulgarity an English thing?
Time well spent reading this comment thread
Seems like a start of a good Halloween movie.
Thanks. I thought maybe “give me a push” meant “put it in my butt” in the UK
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Do an UNDERDOG!
Your wife's a cunt.
Is being a pussy a you thing?
That negative karma tho
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If a car with a standard transmission has a dead battery, you can push it to get up some speed then pop it into gear and it will start running. Or something like that, I haven't done that since I was a kid.
Child’s play equipment, a swing set.
Basically, a board suspended by rope or chain, that a child sits on and you push them back and forth
You thought he wanted his stool pushed.
There was a time when you could start a car with a dead battery by literally pushing it while in gear.
Could be a stopped car with a dead engine that needs moving somewhere
The original give us a push is to push a car that won’t start so you push it to bump start it
Aaww so wholesome
No need to be a jerk. It was a simple question. It seems that British humor includes cunt quite a bit. I’m not a nun, but that is probably one of the most vulgar words around. It just seems to be a common word there.
What a cunt!
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Yeah I saw this joke a few weeks ago too
hecatonchires266 t1_iuhgu3j wrote
😂😂😂