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USMCWrangler t1_j9ig8b6 wrote

Reply to comment by Bilberry12 in Putin: How much of the Russian population want to kill me? by FPSCanarussia

Not true. Suicide. He shot himself twice in the head.

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UppityPotHead t1_j9inhca wrote

Shoot himself in the head two times, Before throwing himself from a window.

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Akbeardman t1_j9iqk0m wrote

No no, he fell out of the window on accident, down 15 stories onto some bullets.

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EmphasisCheap8611 t1_j9k1tm2 wrote

All the while he was on a healthy diet of polonium!

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EmploymentLate t1_j9mhxom wrote

And of course, all of this are eye witness reports because the body was never found, maybe he just wanted to leave.

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mutantcivil t1_j9nsesm wrote

No no, he fell from 25th floor and shot himself midair 5 times all over his body after making tie knot around his neck and suffocated before felling into the acid tank that was mysteriously there on ground.

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Just--Stuff t1_j9jebls wrote

You must mention how he chugged 2 gallons of cyanide before he did all this

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TexWolf84 t1_j9kgrmv wrote

But he did put a safety rope around his neck before he fell out of the window.

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Clean_Internet t1_j9ktnsg wrote

The safety rope kept him safely hung for a bit, but then snapped and he fell the next 14 stories

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Godzilla-1995 t1_j9novxs wrote

Was this before or after he stabbed himself in the kidney fifty-three times?

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iloveradiohead225 t1_j9kvhjt wrote

THE ADVISOR WAS FUCKING MURDERED!

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cherryhilljawnz t1_j9kxku1 wrote

Nope. If that was the case it would have been reported on

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thebarberbenj t1_j9kn7i0 wrote

In Russia they call that “Natural Causes”. Rasputin died by “misadventure”🤣

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FeedMeMoreOranges t1_j9kibwj wrote

Shoot himself in the back head two times, before throwing himself out the window.

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aardw0lf11 t1_j9kzapi wrote

And before all that he bruised both his wrists and ankles.

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jstormes t1_j9lddn9 wrote

And pulled out all of his own fingernails.

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trucorsair t1_j9lqeu2 wrote

There is an old story about a man who wanted a scenic suicide but wanted it to be painless. So he made a noose on a tree limb over a high cliff that was facing west into the setting Sun. He took a big dose of morphine to make sure he felt no pain. Put the noose around his neck and jumped off the cliff. To be even more sure, he took a pistol with him, just in case the rope didn’t break his neck and he was in danger of slow strangulation. Anyway the rope jerked, the force of the jerk caused the pistol to go off, he shot the rope in half fell into the ocean where he swallowed a lot of seawater and threw up the morphine and was washed up on the beach, scared but alive. Feeling confident he collected his thoughts and began to walk back to town, taking this as a message from the universe that he should stay alive. Singing to himself with new found vigor he walked into the path of a bus and died….the end

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HandsOnGeek t1_j9m0sr2 wrote

The ending I remember to that scenario involved being rescued by a boat and taken to the hospital.
Where he died of Shock.

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