Submitted by Hurtkopain t3_119vqhc in Jokes
She looked at lipsticks for over 30 minutes but she didn't buy any
She tried 20 kinds of perfumes but none of them were good enough
She tested 10 different kinds of mascaras but she didn't like any of them
She read the labels of all the blushes just to finally walk out empty handed
So I asked a clerk if they had brain paint
What? wtf is brain paint? he asked
It's for my wife, I said, so she can make up her damned mind.
thank you! I try to create jokes from nothing but most of the time it's a swing and a miss! It's next to impossible to reach the 10k updoot score but I'll keep trying. I just wanna make ppl laugh a bit hehe
How many guys did she try before she married you?
Asking the real questions. But at least she chose him.
Or was he all that was left after she tested the others.
That's where I thought this was going.
Sick burn!
69
Found the teenager
Been a few decades. But still have the brain of one!
man you are killing this lmao
😂
Do you have any mind make-up?
That would be better
That would’ve given away the punchline
exactly, didn't wanna use the make-up term before the punchline
Brain make-up?
Make-up for Grey Complexions?
"Some kind of cosmetic for her brain" would work better, but original (to me at least).
that sounds very sophisticated, I thought brain paint had a good simple sound to it but hey whatever fits your bits!
Huh?
Make-up her mind
Brain paint doesn't fit properly. Should have been "Brain cosmetics"
PreFrontal Foundation maybe
Brain blush
i heard make-up as "face paint" before that's why i used brain paint, it also kinda rhymes
🤣 NT males complaining about NT females! 🤣
I'm autistic. I but the exact same lipstick every single time. If/when that is discontinued, I feel like someone died! Now I must dedicate 54 hours to finding the closest shade and then thay will become my new go to lipstick until it's discontinued!
Oh the horrors!
When NT women say they love shopping, I die a bit inside! 😖
When my partner says he will come shopping with me when I need something... nope! This isn't just shopping, it's like a military operation.
I hate shopping! I need clothed except I have a specific idea of what I want and that can never be found! I just buy fabric and sew my own clothes... which means, I have a binch of fabric lying around that I'll sew when I get time. Meanwhile, I will wear the same 3 outfits.
Society has such high demands of us females to have so many costumes! 😖
I want to be a cartoon character... same outfit for 30 years then a reboot with a new outfit that I get to wear all the time. I would prefer 20 outfits that are all the same!
Grrrrr! Society! shakes fist.
Men complain but it's literally men that demand we women perform sartorial variance for them. Like, is this Primal? Do men get tricked into believing we're a new female because we wear different costumes 🤔
You say that and yet 98% of guys don't give a fuck if you wore the same outfit repeatedly. It's other women who tend to shame and belittle for not having 30,726 different outfits.
So true!
Im autistic and i can't cope with all the costumes 🤣
I have 1 evening dress that I would wear to every wedding back in the day when I was still in contact with my family. There was a wedding every other week!
My evening dress is lovely, cost £250, fits me perfect, looks amazing. I've had it for... 🤔 10 years! 😂 Still looks fantastic.
It was always a woman who would have some sassy comment like oh, you're wearing that dress again, hm.
Weird!
Men don't notice much. They tend to notice one overall looking good, not specific dress or shoes or bag.
What is NT?
Neurotypical
If the ‘she’ lines were a little shorter you could sing them to Bob Dylan’s Hard Rain.
I scrolled back and tried
Think of all of the love and attention your wife got -- and you didn't even have to spend a dime!
When incels dream about being married...
Keep dreaming Mr.Troll, it might come true for you. But it's not for everyone. My first marriage was really weird, we divorced after only 3 months. The second one was difficult at first but at least I know it's for life.
I'm happy you found someone compatible with you! But your first experience should not be generalised - incels use these small incidents as justification to make blanket statements about half of humanity... just like right-wing Fox news-watching zealots, actually. They have no way of separating the joke from reality
Almost a dad joke
Maybe she wants you to pipe up and say "ooo I like this one" (don't say this if you don't, she is trying to please you and will wear it) but for future reference, a little advise... just mention you like one if you do. A scent, a color, anything. It will not only make her happy, she will also make her mind up faster.
me: "oh I like this one on you"
her: "well I don't....next!"
Trust me when I say she still considers it in the back of her mind. Don't become less supportive just because she is unsure, bad way to start becoming distant. Women just want to look good. And sometimes they're literally just checking out the new products.
what kind of a monster tries mascaras 😬
😂
TIL I married a monster
need a pause between can and make up
​
so she can
make up
her damned mind
I'll take it
Come on man, she's saving money 😁
I expected punchline to be she has chosen her husband like she is choosing her make up thus giving a sense of pride in himself. And she might say something like "i always try them time to time to see if anything changed".
This did give me a chuckle.
Ha, I get it
Imagine her process in choosing a husband.
I thought it would end with:
“But I stare at the large boobed clerk and get accused of wanting to take her home.”
…It needs rephrasing, but it’s there somewhere.
With that remark, you may get a piece of her mind.
Keep the cones up
Dae hate their stupid wife? LOL! Women be shopping for makeup XD #boomerjokes #dyingalone
boersc t1_j9ocd9a wrote
Needs some work, but there's definitely a good original joke in there. Upvote for originality, which is very rare in this sub!