“Hey, we have talked about this person, this issue, this feeling a lot and none of my previous advice seems to be helping you. It may be above my pay grade as your friend to help you. It might be time to talk to an adult or a professional a about this.”

Turn the conversation towards their agency to make a change instead of focusing on what others are doing to them or how they feel. “That sounds terrible, what do you plan to do about it?” “There is nothing I can do, I am a powerless victim.” “That can’t be true, try to brainstorm a couple of ideas no matter how stupid. You’ll feel better.”

Also, there is a form of conversational “grey rock” where you kind of tune out and just reply “cool, bummer, or wow” to everything they say, offering nothing of yourself to the problem. It’s kind of a defense against the black arts reserved for people that just do not take a hint about over-sharing.