Submitted by Other-Anybody-6686 t3_z5ltbl in LifeProTips

For my college, I've come to a really far away city from my hometown. My dad just left after setting me up in this apartment (i am living with 2 other roommates). idk, i feel empty as of now and literally has no idea what i should do next. Some tips from y'all guys might help me. Thanks, much appreciate it.

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Drew- t1_ixx0izj wrote

Go. To. Class.

Its so tempting when no one is telling you to get up and go to just ditch. Teachers dont care, and your parents arent there to help. Its on you.

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Divallo t1_ixx15oj wrote

The professors often do care. They give the benefit of the doubt to students who show up every day and often are strict with ones who regularly don't show up.

When it comes to asking for an extension or whether or not your grade might get rounded up it absolutely matters if they saw your face every class.

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watdoiknw t1_ixynogd wrote

Totally agree with this. I had experienced it myself. Showing up to the class regularly and attending the extra AMA sessions by the professor himself helped him recognize me and later he changed my 'F' to a 'B+'. (Long story behind getting an 'F' so didn't get into that here)

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turninginmygrave t1_iy3khub wrote

I think they meant "don't care" as in they won't nag you to show up to class like teachers in middle school, let's say, would. So there is no one to scold you for not attending classes.

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Other-Anybody-6686 OP t1_ixx12bd wrote

That's what I've planned to do so. Hopefully I don't get distracted

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TreasureTheSemicolon t1_ixy9n32 wrote

It’s easiest to concentrate in class and learn the material that way. Much more difficult to teach it to yourself when you miss class.

Get a calendar and when you get the syllabus for each class, go through them all and write on the calendar when exams are and when papers and other assignments are due. Look at it often.

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Columbus43219 t1_ixx4r82 wrote

Yes... My biggest regret is my 8am Monday class, followed by a two hour break, then the second class. I missed it so much I failed the class (Calculus).

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r7joni t1_ixyc4lt wrote

It is even more tempting when the lectures get recorded an you receive the recording afterwards

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Wiscodoggo5494 t1_ixwz9lz wrote

The tip is… what you are feeling is normal. Try to be open minded and meet new people. Go for walks around your town and explore. Give it time… it takes time to settle in and find your tribe.

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Other-Anybody-6686 OP t1_ixx0wgi wrote

Thanks, needed that a lot

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more_beans_mrtaggart t1_ixyd7qh wrote

Meet as many people as you can initially. The number you hang with will reduce, and you’ll actually likely keep those connections for decades.

Same for class. Look for people who are turning up and paying attention (and not fucking about). Hang with them, because group learning is way more efficient, and you may get split into groups for projects.

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r7joni t1_ixycemo wrote

There are a lot of new students in the same situation as you. Most of them will be very open because they also want to get to know people.

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BeeswithWifi t1_ixxbqkr wrote

Buy a plunger before you need one.

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racf599 t1_ixxetyt wrote

take advantage of every service your college offers. career counseling, tutoring, clubs and other student organizations, and if there is cheap/free therapy or other mental health services please take full advantage. Explore every nook and cranny of your campus, many universities have delightfully weird things crammed in out of the way places.

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OnAgainOffAgainMeds t1_ixzm21f wrote

Especially the gym. I can’t believe I didn’t exercise more in college (44 now). It was a free world class facility and I never stepped foot in there.

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Old-Plastic6662 t1_ixwy4nd wrote

Often when sharing with random people in college there's one person that does fuck all around the house because they still think they live at home. Don't be that person.

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DangyDanger t1_ixwwnjn wrote

  • Do not delay doing the dishes. You'll regret not doing them the same day.

I hated scrubbing that week old oatmeal plate.

  • Spend time with da bois!

We are on remote for about 2 years now and honestly, no memory in my life is as nice as the time I spent with my friends celebrating their birthday or something. Just know your limits on alcohol and don't fall for the peer pressure, unless you wanna puke your guts out.

  • Make sure you have a place to dry clothes on, for example, a large enough radiator or a clothesline.

There will be that one time you massively fuck up and spill something on your clothes that you go to class in while not having spares. Or just generally wash your socks. I used to hang a shirt on a clothesline to block the lamp so I can sleep without getting my eyes burned out while my roommate needed light.

  • (Optional) Pick up some basic soldering and repairing skills.

Christmas lights, charging cables, headphones and other stuff often fail at the connectors or stressed solder joints. It's the basic stuff that saves you money and time buying replacements or finding someone to repair it for you.

  • Cook your own food. Massive money save and a potential health benefit.
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George_ThunderWeiner t1_ixwsbeo wrote

Whether you are male or female, don't be stupid and careless with the opportunity you have.

Explore, make friends, seek out interesting places to visit. Get to know your college campus and library.

Enjoy your new freedom.

Good luck!

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leftyontheleft t1_ixx34ug wrote

Wash your sheets and kitchen towels more often than you think you need to. Figure out a couple basic meals that you can make from pantry staples and keep those on hand. Get to know lots of different people from a variety of backgrounds,she's, etc. Explore the new city away from the university area.

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Customer_Number_Plz t1_ixykx1s wrote

The sheets top is good. Now that you are older you will notice you are sweaty and stinkier. Once a week or two weeks max is good

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SlicerStopSlicing t1_ixxmvv7 wrote

  1. Go to class

  2. Pay attention

  3. Do the work

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umassmza t1_ixwyyp4 wrote

Learn how to cook, especially cheap cuts of meat. If you can make a pot roast you can make friends. Lots of college kids miss home cooked meals. If you invite people for an actual dinner they’ll be thrilled.

Also throw in with your roommates for a BJs or Costco or other big box membership. $25 right now and you can make the money back on paper products alone. Just get a single, they do not care if you look like the picture.

Sound cancelling headphones are your best friend, that and ear plugs. If people want to stay up late and you don’t, it’s better to cancel them out than create hostility.

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The_Scary_Pie t1_ixz0mhn wrote

This. + Meal prepping while you're at it, always having a home cooked meal ready to go is invaluable and the time save of having to only cook once or twice a week is so so good once u make a habit of it

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Customer_Number_Plz t1_ixyl1p4 wrote

Save on BJs by just sucking your homies off yourself. The boys love it and it's not gay, it's frugal. Just say no homo.

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love2driveanywhere t1_ixxabaa wrote

Its a shock being on your own so suddenly. I went thru some depression. Its going to be ok. Follow the structure of your classes and studying. Then fill the other time with what comes along. Good luck!!

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qqqqqq12321 t1_ixxap40 wrote

Make friends Be with people. Being alone is not good if you haven’t been alone a lot before.
Drinking isn’t necessary

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ZookeepergameNo2819 t1_ixxofnk wrote

Go to Goodwill, Salvation Army or second hand store for cooking pots and pans, utensils and inexpensive works of art-paintings of fruit for example. Just to give it a lived-in feel and not sterile. Good luck.

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DarkSideEdgeo t1_ixx0ytn wrote

Get to know and create a diverse group of friends. If you didn't have a group of diverse friends back home it'll open your eyes a bit.

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pkinetics t1_ixx3p4u wrote

Since you are in college, check out some of the different social events, especially for other cultures. Pick a couple that seem like something you'd be interested, and a couple that are completely new to you. Try new things.

Had fun going to a Indian dinner event with a classmate.

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wifeakatheboss7 t1_ixxnnjn wrote

Figure out if are an introvert, who needs quiet time to re-energize, or an extrovert who needs socializing. Build that into your day as something you need, just like food and water and sleep. Figure out your optimal time of day for learning, and protect it for studying. Meet with academic counselor early and every year, so you don't lose track of your graduation target date. If you don't know your major they can be very helpful to guide you in figuring it out. I went to a couple of department welcome celebrations/ campus club parties and met some great people in other majors, which led to a part time job later on. Every time I moved to a new city and knew no one, I noticed that 6 weeks in I would get depressed. I would pull back, stay home, read, watch tv for a bit, then pick myself up and start doing things. So now I know to expect it, recognize the pattern, and understand it is my necessary step before I move forward. Be gentle with yourself and it's ok to take some time to get comfortable. And you will meet lots of people who are very different from you. If you can be tolerant and open minded you will learn a lot about people and yourself. Always protect your safety first, as some people will take advantage or will not be graduating some day and you don't want to be one of them.

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lurkinglen t1_ixwrhig wrote

Socialize with your roommates.

Drink beer.

Take a walk outside to explore your new environment.

A combination of the above would be the best. Optional: disconnect.

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lostknight0727 t1_ixx09in wrote

These are all both dos and don't depending on your situation and mood lol

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lostknight0727 t1_ixx0azh wrote

These are all both dos and don't depending on your situation and mood lol

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Betsy_West t1_ixwubjg wrote

Highly recommend the book "Where's Mom Now That I Need Her?". Has tips on stocking a pantry, recipes, bicycle repair, mending clothes, and more.

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Lumpy-Sun-6116 t1_ixy9nun wrote

For every beer/wine/whatever alcohol you drink you consume, drink an equal amount of water - you will be able to have fun till the very end of the party and will not have as terrible of a headache the next day. Also make a habit of having some staples available for a quick meal at all times - some rice, salad and canned tuna will make a quick lunch and you will build a habit of not relying on takeouts all the time.

And don’t forget to have fun! It might feel a bit overwhelming at the moment, but a lot of people around you will be feeling the same way - it will all work out :)

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ButtFokker190 t1_ixy0ffq wrote

I did this.

  • Getting a rice cooker makes cheap meals very simple.

  • This is a great time to start a new routine, reshape who you are. Go to the gym, etc.

  • Socializing is far more important than most people think. Make friends and say yes to every social opportunity. Train yourself to be extroverted.

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gotmynameoffof_ t1_ixybhuo wrote

As a former grad that went to college 900 miles away from home seeing this makes me feel obligated to try and share what I can.

Don’ts

  1. Skip class - this one’s been said a lot already and pretty straightforward so I don’t think I need to say much on it
  2. Eat out EVERYday - sure a couple days here and there are fine especially since you’re still adjusting but a lot of that food isn’t good for you and gets expensive very quickly. I’m assuming there’s a kitchen at your apartment so I’d suggest getting some sort of setup going. If you don’t like/are not good at cooking there’s plenty of easy and simple things you can find on YouTube
  3. Forcing yourself to be friends with your roommates - I’m not saying you can’t be friends with them, but if there’s an obvious difference in interest/hobbies/etc don’t feel like you have to force a friendship. Being able to live together peacefully is the most important part (sharing cleaning responsibilities, having or not having other people over at certain times maybe, respecting each other’s things/spaces, on and on)
  4. Put too much pressure on yourself - Things aren’t always going to go as planned or expected but when don’t try to remember to not be so hard on yourself. You’re in a completely new environment and experience so there’s going to be a learning curve. Move at your own pace

Do’s

  1. Have a routine - this one might take a while to figure out what works and what doesn’t but I feel like having a general schedule (built around your classes which you’re gonna go to) can bring some stability to a somewhat nerve-racking situation. Setting certain hours to study, work on papers, go to the gym, clean, etc helped to me be more efficient with what I was doing. Don’t forget to schedule in breaks too; burning yourself out isn’t going to help with anything
  2. Take advantage of everything - any services/events/etc your school may offer use them. They are there for you so might as well get the most out of them while you can
  3. Find a club - Any interest/hobbies/activities you may enjoy there’s probably a club for it. This is one of the easiest ways to get engaged and also meet new people. If you’re up for it feel free to try something completely new or that you wouldn’t normally do. Worst comes to worst you go once to see what it’s like and you don’t have to go back.

Hope that some of this might be of help. Best of luck to you

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Other-Anybody-6686 OP t1_ixyc5ue wrote

Thanks man, I went shopping today and got some basic essentials, tomorrow I'll go look for appropriate clubs. And yes, I'll definitely do my best not to miss any class.

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MP-119 t1_ixz7p6t wrote

I’m here to tell you it gets better. That feeling is normal, but you’ll be ok.

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somedaze87 t1_ixzawxw wrote

Get into a good routine. Try to get outside everyday. Eat healthy.

And you can call or text your mom any time if you're lonely or bored. Moms love that shit.

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insertcaffeine t1_ixzjfcu wrote

Learn to care for yourself. Your emotions will feel easier to handle when you're well fed, well rested, hydrated, sober, and you've had some exercise lately.

Prioritize sleep. That means using your time wisely so you're not studying all night.

Sure, go out and party sometimes, but not all the time. Just because you can recover from a hangover in like 20 minutes doesn't mean you should make a habit of it

Eat vegetables. And fruit. And protein. Get protein and produce in every meal.

When your body feels good, your mind will feel better than it would if your body felt like crap.

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Late-Jicama5012 t1_ixxpq63 wrote

Set rules and boundaries from day one!

Everyone cleans the apartment, bathroom, kitchen, etc, 2-3 times per week. Make a roster if you have to.

Every one does dishes, no excuses!

After 9pm, no loud sounds of any kind, unless three of you are watching a movie together. Otherwise, put on headphones.

There was one night, 2 of my roommates decided two fuck random girls at 2am and the girls were loud! Not going to lie, I was a bit jealous at the time, but my sleep was more important. So establish ground rules for guys staying over.

If you notice one of your roommates has a habit of leaving a dirty plate on a coffee table, point it out and nip it in the butt asap.

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popsj12 t1_ixxtne4 wrote

Do: get a credit card with good rewards, cash back or points for a grocery store or something. Not just for travel points. Use it for every purchase.

Don't: spend more money on said credit card than you have in your account/budget for that month.

You'll build up credit, earn points to get free essentials and learn good budgeting and money tracking skills.

Maybe doesn't apply to the "far away from home" portion as much as just in general, but it'll be beneficial in the long run.

Also: I moved away too when I went to college, try and talk to people in your classes or elsewhere and don't judge people by their looks. Some of the best, longest lasting friendships I have from college are the people that I initially thought were "weird or not my type of friend". I was able to be myself, they were themselves and we became fast and good friends.

Edit: typo x2

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ingres_violin t1_ixxtztu wrote

Don't drink the Kool-Aid, figuratively and literally. My parents would never let me have it growing up because it was too much sugar. I binge drank it and got my first cavity within 12 months.

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nitinCV t1_ixyd6n6 wrote

Don't forget to eat healthy.

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Customer_Number_Plz t1_ixyj1o2 wrote

Look up money saving tips. There are hundreds of threads for this.

Do your dishes while you wait for food to cook, then wash your dish right after. It's a big time saver.

When you party, don't feel pressured to get drunk quickly to catch up. Student party's tend to last until like 10pm because nobody can pace themselves and will get wasted.

Going out to bars is a massive expense, house party's are cheaper. But you pay for it in cleaning and damages. So party at your friends instead.

It makes life x10 times better if you get along with your room mates. But you don't have to be best friends if you don't click.

Being on bad terms with them leads to a toxic existence, since you are around them all the time.

Don't lend money with the expectation you will get it back. Ever. It will strain any relationship you have.

Wear a condom every time.

Have fun! It can be a really fun time, you will meet some cool people.

Keep anything valuable in your room.

Go to class.

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MoronTheBall t1_ixyql94 wrote

Visit the party house. Do not live in the party house.

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Adfeu t1_ixynkyb wrote

Keep healthy habits to build strong fondation so when life brings drama your solid like an oak and bendy and agile like a reed

Eat healthy and exercice :) can’t recommend that enough

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LeBretRetail t1_ixysupa wrote

Always trust your instincts. If a situation feels odd or sketchy it's ok to leave. Chances are others feel the same. Situational awareness.

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Ok-Detail-9853 t1_ixyv377 wrote

Start a new routine.

Develope good study habits now and stick to them

Eat healthy food

Get enough sleep

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Zebrahead033 t1_ixz1klx wrote

Don't get addicted to hookers and cocaine.

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MrSaturnboink t1_ixz46os wrote

Buy toilet paper in bulk when it’s on sale.

Be careful with credit cards.

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Good-Is-Good-Enough t1_ixz5a2t wrote

Don't only stay in touch with your friends in your hometown, but also socialize in your new city.

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silentchaos00 t1_ixzu38g wrote

Reminds me of my time… 15+ years ago. It’s natural to feel lonely and overwhelmed. But also remember there will be so many nice memories form this time that you will look back on.

Here is what I would advise you ( and my younger self):

  1. Attend classes and don’t slip on discipline. No one will push you, which is great but you also have bigger responsibility to manage yourself.

  2. Make friends. You will realise later in life that some of the best friendships happen in college. So do go out and make best use of the social scene.

  3. Join college clubs/sports societies etc. It will hone your professional skills that will be invaluable for your career.

There will be days when you will feel depressed and homesick. All of this will forge the future you.

I wish you the best of luck!

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Lechlikowski t1_iy07rnq wrote

Do: Cocaine.

Don't do: Cocaine.

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Bostaevski t1_iy0jlzu wrote

Do NOT sign up for those credit cards they'll offer you, usually some booth set up outside the bookstore or whatever.

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keepthetips t1_ixwqrga wrote

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If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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DatedDevotee61 t1_ixyiphq wrote

Go to class. Go to the library. Go to on campus events and make friends. Staying in your room all day really takes a toll on your mental health. Also set a schedule of when to study/have fun. No one will force you to do anything so make it a habit of creating a schedule.

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[deleted] t1_ixzeli3 wrote

All great tips here. I would say generally this the time to practice a routine which includes good habits you want going forward and the best time to drop bad habits.

Start practicing the life you want to live.

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Big_Pie2915 t1_ixzfh4z wrote

The choices you make will follow you. It isn't just the choices but your actions that will turn into habits. Work hard, that habit will help you more than anything else.

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reberti_culto t1_ixzshnf wrote

Buy condons and keep one in the wallet, you don’t want to have a child now.

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Bmoelicious t1_iy0x5q5 wrote

Keep up your personal hygiene. Keep your body, your clothes, and your sheets (reasonably) clean.

Dress nicer, the world will treat you with more respect.

Don't take pills unless directly from your doctor. There will be a lot of people experimenting with drugs around you. There is a lot of counterfeit pills in the market (from the Mexican drug cartels) that contain fentanyl. One pill can kill.

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rick_nek_vt t1_iy0zlsf wrote

if there is a student union/gathering place for students or a campus message forum use them often, especially if you are introverted. they are a way to introduce yourself to new people, perspectives, and interests outside of class. it's time for a really exciting adventure.

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purplebananers t1_iy16c7o wrote

Plan fun things do you have something to look forward to

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TwelveVoltGirl t1_iy1uhbw wrote

To get over this temporary feeling of transition:

Call a loved one and ask how they are doing.

Write a letter.

Read a favorite book again or watch the tv show that always makes you smile.

Be kind to someone there; they may be feeling the same.

In a few days, you won't even remember this.

You got this.

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