LPT: Admitting when you are wrong, directly and succinctly, is not only being a great teammate, but also a great way to determine friend from foe in the workplace.

Submitted by AdministrativeAct902 t3_zzi7io in LifeProTips

You screwed something up, and you need to get in front of it. When this happens to you, get right to the point by acknowledging that you directly made the mistake (don’t throw anyone else involved in there), and briefly talk about what that mistake means for the business. This will immediately change the way people think of you as a resource.

“I didn’t remember to update the thing before Christmas, it was a mistake and I’ll do better next round. This means we need to do this to fix the problem asap.”

Now the life pro tip…

If someone reacts in a way that focuses on you, attaching your name to the mistake in front of leaders, they are absolutely not interested in elevating your contributions or station. They simply consider you a resource to be used, and not someone who can be molded, taught, or promoted.

If someone reacts by jumping in, offers you help to fix the issue, and feels the fix isn’t just yours to make, these are the people who will often lead initiatives with incredible outputs. They often have an entire gravitational pull in organizations because they realize failure is inevitable, and that the faster we fail, the faster we fix. These are your gems, always try to align with them in any way possible.

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illcrx t1_j2bsnbt wrote

Honestly is the best policy in every situation, if you find yourself trying to weasel your way out of a mistake just bite the bullet and deal with it head on and admit your error.

People will trust you and I haven't found too many people that can't understand an honest mistake. Some errors are worse than others and you may even get fired but your next job won't know what you did!

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Em_Adespoton t1_j2btfch wrote

> Some errors are worse than others and you may even get fired but your next job won’t know what you did!

That depends entirely on your job and your mistake.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows where Bill Cosby went wrong.

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illcrx t1_j2buc3m wrote

He was good at his job, just shitty personally.

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AdminYak846 t1_j2de6wi wrote

>People will trust you and I haven't found too many people that can't understand an honest mistake.

Just be aware, if someone says "hey you did something wrong that upset me". Sit back and listen, don't get defensive about what you're going to hear. If you acknowledge your actions lead to what happened, whether it was small or a large part, have the self-awareness of that things you do may upset other people. If you decide to double down and not admit fault because you feel your perfect in every category, don't be surprised when coworkers alienate you or ask to not talk to them about anything.

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Y_Gath_Ddu t1_j2e9ec5 wrote

My boss is very open about his errors and weaknesses and where he is dependent on us. I've got his back every time

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Yorktown_guy551 t1_j2ey9lz wrote

Except to the police when being questioned. Best to not say anything lol

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illcrx t1_j2fhzd7 wrote

Touché. Right to remain silent!

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MandamusProhibition t1_j2c2t92 wrote

It is a sign of good character.

Admitting you're wrong doesn't make people not respect you; rather, admitting your fallibility concisely and immediately as and when required gains respect.

More people in this world ought to subscribe to OP's LPT.

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BalimbingStreet t1_j2bwbs3 wrote

I have a coworker who will always use someone else's mistake to highlight his better approach. Sure it's the better approach, but you don't have to be a dick about it.

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The_Red_Haiku t1_j2dgs90 wrote

This is deflection. It makes the person really unlikable.

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illcrx t1_j2eene2 wrote

I follow the notion of spread credit and take blame. For instance I was at work the other day, I work on home entertainment systems, and the guy I was working with turned the volume all the way up on this persons stereo system. When it turned on it was LOUD, way too loud. I figured out what happened and turned it back down and when the homeowner came up I said "Oh sorry I accidentally turned the volume all the way up, sorry about that". My co-worker didn't even know what happened until I explained it later when the client was gone.

I could have been a dick and said "Oh he turned the volume up, sorry about that." But by taking blame it shows professionalism and shows my co-worker that we do things together and work as a team.

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AdminYak846 t1_j2ddn72 wrote

I usually do this sometimes, but it's usually after the fact once I've pitched it and who makes the decisions has already made up their mind and doesn't want to change anything. Mostly because they don't want to care about the benefits or consequences of the decision made, they just want a decision made.

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chillfox t1_j2e49es wrote

I have a manager who blames failures on the team and successes on their managerial skills

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davidquick t1_j2cqi93 wrote

In a perfect world: yes, this.

But in the real world, read the room. Some people may not be in great situations at work and can't leave. If it's unusual at work for anyone to accept fault or admit they were wrong there's likely a good reason for that.

I've worked a big corporate job where your upward mobility was based largely on the appearance of rather than the substance of your work. So even doing good work you were better off never admitting fault because people would use that against you. That job wasn't for me but there were lots of people there with nowhere else to go. They weren't bad people, that was just the world they lived in.

So that said, read the room.

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illcrx t1_j2eesz3 wrote

Ya, a sad world where you have to hide.

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core_al t1_j2f9hf3 wrote

Well said. Also, 'keep your enemies closer' really means 'keep everyone closer' - you always have to keep track of others' mistakes so you can arm yourself with them when things go wrong and the fingerpointing starts.

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Muppet_Cartel t1_j2bxpo9 wrote

I respect people who do this so much.

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Due_Egg_6497 t1_j2cqdon wrote

We're all human. We all make mistakes. Mistakes teach you. Those are the things you won't forget, so won't make the mistake again. With that said, nothing ticks me off more than a person who doesn't own up to a mistake they made, when it's clear as a bell it was theirs. They will come up with excuse after excuse to pass the buck. A shame, really.

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Kind-Speaker1696 t1_j2ctx86 wrote

On the flip side: what is the best way to bring up a conversation when you catch your coworker made a mistake without offending them.

My approach usually goes something like: “I noticed this, and I think it should be this. Could you please investigate?”

Is there a better approach?

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anaximander19 t1_j2dgsdv wrote

That works. When the person who made the mistake is more senior I've also used "I found this and I don't understand, could you explain?" As in, you're assuming it's correct and it's you who doesn't get it, which means you're not telling them it's wrong, you're leaving them to realise that that for themselves, and they can then save face by saying something vague like "I'll look into it" and then quietly fix it.

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jealousrock t1_j2d3fzg wrote

I think it's good. Talk about the problem and the cause, not about who caused it.

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CanIgetkalamari t1_j2d1qlf wrote

This isn’t good advice if your manager is one of the people who would highlight and attach your name to it.

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anaximander19 t1_j2dglo8 wrote

I mean, the post says it'll show you who your enemies are, and that's absolutely correct. It just doesn't mention that if your manager is one of those enemies, then following this advice will hand them all they need to throw you under the bus.

To be fair it's very useful to know if your manager is that sort, and if they are then you should probably leave if at all able, but it's better to find out quietly and then jump rather than being pushed.

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Prime_Marci t1_j2d9wib wrote

I work at job where nobody takes responsibility for any mistake. Trust me, it’s a nightmare. All they do is blame game. He did it, he did that and so on.

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UsernamesAre4Nerds t1_j2c0eti wrote

Speaking as someone with social anxiety, and severe general anxiety, a great way to approach this is saying "My bad. I'm sorry."

That's all that needs to be said, and it conveys so much more than the words let on. And it's casual enough that no one feels like you're prostrating yourself for pity, which is a huge fear of mine

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unicyclegamer t1_j2crq8e wrote

LPT: read “How to win friends and influence people”. It covers this and more.

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mang3lo t1_j2dh54i wrote

That book changed my life. And I re-read it every few years.

Self help books are sorta dumb. But not this one. I recommend it to everybody.

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EducationalNose7764 t1_j2czmzv wrote

This is advice for life in general, not just the workplace. Just admit when you fucked up, just be like "yep I fucked up, my mistake I'll do better next time " it completely removes the other person's ammo from berating you, but if you routinely make the same mistake repeatedly, then it kind of gives them some credibility for trashing you

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RikersTrombone t1_j2dbgk4 wrote

I'll remember that if I'm ever wrong.

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ForTheHordeKT t1_j2dfd47 wrote

Even despite all of that, and every bit of what you say is true. It's always key to own your mistakes. I cop up to every single one of mine. I own it, because I made it. But I'm going to come with a solution to make it right, and we're going to discuss what can be done better to avoid it again. And sometimes it can even be as simple as "OK, holy shit I was actually a dumbass I don't know how you fuck that up, but I just straight up needed to give it more attention." That's OK too, unless it was something serious and you were being negligent. But if I own all my mistakes, then when it genuinely is not my fault something goes tits up they are going to believe me because I have shown them I own the fuck-ups I am responsible for.

If you can't have this manner of course regarding your mistakes at your job, then it isn't a place worth going in to. You're more than likely working a toxic hell hole that haze absolutely zero respect for you. Consequences to a mistake is fine if I fucked it up. That's part of owning your mistakes, too. But I find they're received a hell of a lot better when you have solutions prepared in how to handle it. I'll take my lumps when they're due, but I expect a civil and professional conversation about what happened, why it happened, what we do to make it right, and whether or not we need to make adjustments in order to prevent it again next time. If I can't expect that from you, I don't want to work for you anyways.

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CredibleSloth t1_j2ekexq wrote

Good stuff. But do everyone a favor and never use “succinctly” again

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keepthetips t1_j2bqe04 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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smoothjedi t1_j2d07r3 wrote

I'm sorry, but your advice is wrong; admit it.

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ScenicPineapple t1_j2d1qvh wrote

I make tons of mistakes at my jobs. Most are very small abd can be fixed easily. Ive never gotten anywhere lying about it or blaming someone else. I always just say I screwed up and how can I prevent this in the future.

You can't learn if you dont make mistakes.

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The_Red_Haiku t1_j2dgm5s wrote

This is huge. You can always tell who’s gaslighting you by how they react to a lie.

If they come clean they lied, they are seen as more trust-worthy and likeable.

If they continue to find every excuse to make their lie believable, and can never admit fault… it’s a huge red flag.

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OGGBTFRND t1_j2e4vcc wrote

Actually it also is a great sign that you’ve achieved adulthood(according to my dad)

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Crobepierre t1_j2eols6 wrote

I think this is great advice.

But the biggest benefit --in my opinion-- of this kind of honesty behavior is not the immediate respect you gain from others or differentiating friend from foe. It's the effect that it has on the person that you are becoming. In other words, it's the intrinsic benefit --not extrinsic-- benefit of shaping you into someone that you proud to become, the person that makes a habit out of being honest so that one day when it really matters, you will do the right thing automatically rather than having to think about it.

Obviously this is easier said than done, but this forum is all about stretching ourselves to be the quintessential citizen, and I truly believe this is one step on the path to truly living a good life.

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cmilliorn t1_j2esila wrote

So many people can’t simply say “oh you’re right, my bad I misunderstood, thank you for sharing that info” or something similar. I’ll admit I’m wrong in a heartbeat and just move on with life. It makes you human and people more apt to speak openly with you.

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BauceSauce0 t1_j2f3e2m wrote

An easy way to earn trust is to admit mistakes. I have never looked down at anyone that admitted fault. I can’t say the same for the reverse.

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Kukunakina t1_j2f4bkc wrote

If a person can admit their mistakes only once, we can be friends.

I don't trust people who "don't commit mistakes" or admit doing mistakes.

Ever.

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ReddBert t1_j2f57rx wrote

Someone who admits when he’s wrong deserves more trust (and respect) than someone who puts his ego first and always tries to save his opinion/preconceived notions.

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Cantnotpetit t1_j2f5ih6 wrote

I've messed up an entire production order and caught it at the end of the line. I immediately told on myself, even though it probably could have shipped as is (and in the end did). But it was a dumb mistake and made my manager laugh, and it came up in my yearly review in a positive way. I owned my mistake entirely.

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SeekersWorkAccount t1_j2ddk2z wrote

Don't constantly apologize for things. It's exhausting. I don't want to hear about every little thing that went wrong and then was fixed. Did you do the work or not?

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