I was where you were. The old standby works because it works: diet and exercise - both physically and mentally. I refused this for years, but finally tried it out due to desperation and it just works. I've been off of medication and my esteem has never been better. Watch what you put into your body. Watch even more what you put in your brain - that diet is even more important. Exercise your brain with puzzles, gaming, even reading helps (writing is best for what you're going through). Stay away from negative/dark media, keep social media at bare minimum, etc. There's no quick fix to this, as it wasn't quickly that this developed in you already. DM me if you have any questions, and best of luck.