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1

T00luser t1_jc6r7rg wrote

I'm not a cow, and I'm not particularly stranded.

but man I could go for an emergency drop of some wonton soup with extra pork dumplings.

620

Hyashi t1_jc6uve5 wrote

Farmers really can get the government to do anything for them.

109

Sam-Gunn t1_jc745xi wrote

"Base to Heifer Actual, Confirm ETA to target."

"Base, we are 3 min out from target. Visibility is less than 2 miles, we are mainly flying on instruments. Contact ground elements to advise them we're coming in on heading three-one-zero, and to start popping flares. We're prepped and ready for drop."

"Confirmed, Heifer Actual. Good luck."

[switches channel]

"All units in the AO, be advised. Heifer Actual on approach to target, three minutes out, on heading three-one-zero. Bravo unit, your elements are danger-close to the target. Repeat, Bravo unit, your elements are danger-close to the target. Drop flares and take cover."

"Bravo Actual here base, be advised we have civilians in the drop-zone. Repeat, civilians are in the drop zone. They refuse to move."

[cow bellowing in background, soldiers heard yelling]

"Understood, Bravo Actual. Heifer Actual, Heifer Actual, you are instructed to wave off and come around for another pass. Confirm transmission."

"Heifer ac... to... b... do you rea.... *ksssshhhh* do... read... repeat instruc..."

"Heifer Actual, wave off! Wave off!

[Two days later]

"Commander, normally after action reports are simply a formality for these types of operations. However upon reading yours I noticed a reference to 'hay-bale related civilian casualties'. Explain the meaning of this!"

"Sir, yes, sir. Due to the weather, we could not contact Heifer One to tell them to wave off. The drop zone was not clear as several civilians had wandered into the area and refused to move."

"Cows, Commander. COWS. Not civilians! You don't put the term 'civilian casualties' into a report when there weren't any! That sends up all sorts of red flags! Dear god, first you take out a Humvee with a hay bale, now this... We're the only unit that's had to provide a damage report for a humanitarian operation!"

"I understand, Sir... I'm also picking up that now may be a bad time to tell you about our new mascot..."

[mooing is heard down the hall]

143

Allmightydohllah t1_jc76frr wrote

Replying to Hyashi (#2,228,283)

The same assholes who like to think of themselves as rugged individuals who pull themselves by their own bootstraps. Wait til you hear about Sunkist being a farmer co-op and a successful one at that

31

Jironobou t1_jc7imte wrote

This reminds me of an old post about pet fish that was along the lines of "imagine that you're chilling and it just starts raining food"

47

ASubtleDerp t1_jc7ml1w wrote

Why can't they just put the stranded cows in the plane?

−5

AnattalDive t1_jc7w9ro wrote

uplifting? its downdropping. its in the title

4

rightcoldbasterd t1_jc814ae wrote

Nice to see Northern California get something back for their taxes.

2

Th3TruthIs0utTh3r3 t1_jc81cws wrote

So once again private farmers are getting bailed out by the tax payers?

Aren't these the same farmers that always complain about big government telling them what they can and can't do on public lands?

−2

Tw1ch1e t1_jc83qcg wrote

Murder Mountain getting some love!

2

7788audrey t1_jc8460z wrote

GOP in No-CAL will whine - how dare anyone contact a Fed agency and they actually helped - oh no.

6

SupraEv t1_jc85wd8 wrote

Operation hamburger helper hahaha

16

calis t1_jc8agb6 wrote

Thinking of the commercials that claim happy cows come from California....

7

wozblar t1_jc8d87u wrote

monetarily interested parties spend money to save food investments

2

Martholomeow t1_jc8je1r wrote

That is truly uplifting. They saved those cows from something beyond anyone’s control. So many stories about humans saving animals from the problems we ourselves caused them, but this one is different. Thanks for posting

13

EveryChair8571 t1_jc8ltmj wrote

Check out the videos on YouTube for the winter storm of 49’

1

HalloweenBlkCat t1_jc8lwcy wrote

Wouldn’t want them to die before you kill them, after all.

4

VealOfFortune t1_jc9c6di wrote

More than the PEOPLE in Ohio have received since February 3rd. 🤢

1

cytherian t1_jca4vsn wrote

Cow #1: "The Gods must like us."

Cow #2: "Then why, the snow?"

Cow #1: "Shaddup and eat!"

1