Spiritual_Lie2563 t1_j9smbj5 wrote
"The dragon has been slain! All Hail Sir Barkley!" The man was aloft his white horse, a beautiful princess on his back.
"My knight, I am sorry I thought it was time for you to be put out to pasture for your age. The kingdom is in gratitude to you." Sir Barkley bowed.
"Thank you, Your Majesty. It was all part of my job."
"I know you did not ask for retirement, even after I allowed it...thank the Maker you did not. Now, it is time for your just reward."
"...just reward? Your gratitude is enough reward for me, Your Majesty."
"If we don't give you the reward, it flies in the face of my kingdom. PREPARE THE ROYAL WEDDING!"
Sir Barkley was shocked.
"...royal wedding?"
"Yes. You saved my daughter, the princess, and as such you will be betrothed to her!" Sir Barkley looked confused as the king continued.
"...uh, Your Majesty...I've BEEN married! For years! Th-the royal bishop ordained my marriage! You know my wife, she works in the royal kitchen as one of your chefs!" The King looked, then was confused.
"...w-well, why did you save my daughter if you're already married? You amongst all the knights know the rule- you save the princess, you marry the princess!"
"I am one of your finest knights. The princess is in trouble, you can't trust a serious problem for the kingdom to an untrained knight. You need the best knight in the country on the job to handle this. Wo-would you have rather I sent one of the new guys out there? Most of them haven't even been taught how to handle a dragon!"
"Well, we never expected that a married knight would go to save the princess." Sir Barkley shook his head.
"You DO remember Princess Fairmaiden is my Goddaughter, right? I'm not about to let her get captured, I swore an oath to you when you gave me and my wife that honor to protect her with our life! I merely did what you expected of me way back when!" The king nodded.
"I remember that well, Sir Barkley..."
"So, you know why I would go to save her without thinking...and you know why I could never marry her. Even if something happened to my beloved wife...I'm literally old enough to be her father myself. I changed her diapers with the queen, for crying out loud! I cannot possibly think of her as a bride...and I'm sure the princess couldn't think of me as one as well!" Princess Fairmaiden looked sheepishly to the king.
"...yes, Father. I know about the rule of the land, but...he's just too old, I've known him for too long. I can't possibly see him as a husband." The King threw his hands up in exasperation.
"...well, I don't know what happens here. ...oog, this is unprecedented. We've had so many different pairings of knight and royalty, all of which saw the betrothal without a problem, and the law of the land has been used forever...but this is the first time we've had a knight who saved royalty refuse to marry the person they saved. I can't imagine sending Princess Fairmaiden to a convent because she has been rejected."
Both Sir Barkley and Princess Fairmaiden were taken aback.
"A CONVENT?"
"A convent, Your Majesty?" The king looked downwards.
"We cannot go otherwise. If she has been saved by a knight who will not marry her, she must go to a nunnery. It's the rules of the land."
"Oh god..." Sir Barkley shook his head.
"King Lawler, I ask for one request before deciding on this."
"Yes, Sir Barkley."
"...to me, my son, my squire." King Lawler had his pages send to the knights' helm, and finally, a young man headed in.
"Father, what did you need me for?" Sir Barkley looked downwards, then started speaking as if he was badly reading lines.
"Why, I needed my son to be here to find out that I am about to kidnap Princess Fairmaiden! I cannot let her be sent to a nunnery, and so I kidnap her!" Sir Barkley went to his sword, then dropped it. "OH NO! My sword has fallen out of its hilt! I'm sure only someone who has known my style of fighting could defeat me easily!" Sir Barkley winked to his son, who caught on immediately. His son grabbed the sword and swung at Sir Barkley, who fell to his knees.
"I am beaten! The Princess has been saved, and by my own son no less! How could this be..."
King Lawler looked, as Princess Fairmaiden caught on and hugged Sir Barkley.
"Father, the rule is there...I HAVE just been saved by this man..."
King Lawler nodded.
"Let the preparations for the royal wedding begin!" Princess Fairmaiden hugged the squire as they left. King Lawler looked at Sir Barkley.
"...you could have just asked to have your son betrothed to the princess instead..." Sir Barkley looked.
"I am a knight. I serve the land and my King. If the land's laws say that the person who saves the princess must be betrothed to her, then the person who saves the princess will be betrothed to her."
"I understand. You are aware I will have to take you from my knights for this, right?" Sir Barkley nodded.
"You had said it was time for me to retire anyway, right?"
"Aye, my dear friend...or family, is it?" The king and his knight shook hands.
Duderzguy123 t1_j9stxl7 wrote
Dumb law, clever solution
Shileka t1_j9tgtrq wrote
I'm convinced several lawyers just cringed at the accuracy
fanonimus99 t1_j9swmj4 wrote
Ah yes our best weapon, loopholes.
Grantley34 t1_j9u04x9 wrote
This man would do well with a Genie's lamp I imagine
fanonimus99 t1_j9u08vg wrote
Oh Lady, what would he do?
Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments