I sat in the small antichamber, universal translator whining at high pitch like an old PC. On the table were a naumber of datashards containing resource allotments and trade tariffs. Pretty normal stuff. What was less normal was those around me. "I am so sorry" I said for the fiftieth time.

The Ceramony had been the same. A golden parade for earth for becoming part of something. The newest members of an organization made to better the universe and spread peace. I had the honour, just me in fron of the universe. Me and the contents of a club sandwhich.

Chairwoman B'Kaw Pecked her shard, absorbing the knoledge into her mind instantly. "Let's just do the job" she said, transferring me the infopak with her amendments. I read them over, aided by the datashard it was instant. "This all seems in order. Good work on the solarmining regulations. Those were tricky" I said, trying to be diplomatic, it's what I do. "I'm shocked you could read it, I hope it wasn't too chicken scratch for you". I groaned.

"Wow she's really MILKING that one" Laughed Hefner, Hefner was a Bull. I don't think he liked me or the millenia old subjegation of his race either, but them man was a professional. He was focued on group cohesion. I wish I could drop personal stuff like that.

"Maybe Scarret could Ketchup with us?" Hef asked. Fucking hell that was in bad taste. The Vegtable-American (as he liked to be called) was busy with the Datashard for another meeting. He was in with the Pluma League, which were plants for the advancement for Sentiant flora and amnesty for herbivores. He was a nice guy if you didn't talk about italy.

"I have concluded. These trade agreements will need to amend that the culturel exchange will focus on primate culture. As almost all artefatcs of Floral Culture were damaged beyond repair" Plants think they built the environment, that they made the sky blue. Which they did, technically. But they say it was on purpose. Apparently we fucked that up for them with all our ravaging the earth business.

"Let's stop here" I said. "Look out. he looks hungry" Joked Hefner. "Dude come on. We didn't know. I mean I thought when they said we had multiple qualifying sophonts it would be like dolphins and chimps" I said. "Dude dolphins are dumb as hell" B'kaw said "Have you seen those guys? The're basically the dogs of the sea" she said, which was rich but I had eaten too many of her unborn children to give her shit on anything, ever.

We did break for lunch. I ate carrot sticks. Which I'm not even sure is okay. Scarat says it's fine, a man must eat. I think he's just being nice, he eats sunlight and soil. Hard not to sound superior when all you need is earth and the sky.

-

For those of future generations. Who with hindsight will call us monsters and fools. I urge you to remember we didn't know. We had no way to know. We never even imagined. And man, they tasted good dude. Like really good. Thank fuck pigs are animals still and we killed everything in the ocean before we had to find out tuna was building cities.

Those ruins are really something.