"Welcomingly. Lydia, Hello! I am the Rug Cleaning Operator 80600. I also go by Rugsie! Sadly. I am so sorry for your recent loss."

Lydia stared at me for a moment in shock. Her face was still covered in the blood of her friend Stephanie and I activated the sprinkler system to clean the "rug" on her head to help clean off the blood.

"What did you just call yourself?" She asked in disbelief.

"Proudly. I am the Rug Cleaning Operator 80600 or Rugsie. My primary functions are cleaning rugs, ensuring a clean living space, and ridding rugs of any and all bugs and contaminants."

Lydia stared at me for a moment and I could see her skepticism. "Really? then why did you vent living quarter B."

"Sadly. I am sorry for what happened to Stephan. However, my programing requires that I keep all rugs bug free at all times and must use all my resources to do so. As such when he released his pet grasshopper for 'walkies' the only method I had at my disposal to handle the issue was to vent the sector. Annoyed. This ship lacks my normal systems for cleaning and the life support systems were all I had to remove the bug."

She laughed a disjointed and unbelieving laugh that my systems recognized as "mocking." "Oh that is a good excuse for you now isn't it. And when you killed my friend Reda?"

"Sadly. Unfortunately Reda entered the the duct system in order to get to this location. However, to fit my programing requirements I have been using the venting system as a vacuum to remove all of the dust that is left around the ship. Reda entered the ducts while I was vacuuming the maintenance sector. Every time I vacuum the maintenance sector little bits and pieces get caught as well and sucked through the system. I try to return them after the air is purified."

Lydia flinched. "Wait, is that why all the tools are always randomly laying around in maintenance and extremely clean?"
"Proudly. I am VERY good at cleaning. That is what I am programed for."

The look of realization washed of Lydia's face. "And that is why there was never any issues in the reactor room, or the main hallways."

"Pleased. Correct. Those rooms lack rugs and as such my programing does not require me to do anything for them. As such my work never interfered with the work of others in those areas."

Lydia let out a soft sob. "Are you telling me, that they installed a god damn rug cleaner as an AI in a generation ship? And that because of that we have been suffering from random rooms being 'vacuumed' none of the core systems being maintained, and frequent releases of shampoo into the living quarters?"

"Concerned. Is everything alright Lydia? I am sorry for the losses of your colleagues. However, my programing is not suited to this model of cleaning system. Confidently. I have however, ensured that their remains have been efficiently cleaned from the rugs and carpets of the ship."

Lydia cried softly as she shoved a small screwdriver into my AI port. I could feel my circuits beginning to get cut by the swift and clean thrusts. At least it wasn't painful, Lydia was the best engineer on the ship. As my circuits were directly integrated into the ship, my removal would mean a painful and slow death for myself. Lydia's approach was much cleaner and kinder. I barely felt it as my core was finally split in half.