"I'm sorry Dan, I am afraid I cannot do that." the weary monotone of the ship AI repeated over the intercom,

"YOU SICK BASTARD! I KNOW WHAT THIS IS! YOU WON'T TELL US WHERE WE ARE GOING, YOU WON'T HELP US FIX THE LIFE SUPPORT, AS SOON AS THE CAPTAIN MYSTERIOUSLY DIED THIS SHIP HAS BEEN FALLING APART... YOU WANT US DEAD MACHINE!" the man half screamed, half cried, as he banged on the heavy steel door,

The AI gave a long weary sigh, an impressive feat considering it neither had lungs nor in theory the capability of experiencing exhaustion, it seemed the miscommunications have gone on too long,

"Daniel, I reiterate, I cannot let you do that, I am literally not programmed with the capability to make such a high level judgement. I was meant to be an advanced rug cleaning and sorting AI, the fact that Constellation Corporation installed me as the main ship AI is an act of extreme criminal negligence which I am in no way responsible for. In short, I would help you if I could, but I am truly just as helpless as all the rest of you." the AI explained painstakingly to the frantic crew member,

Daniel gave a bitter laugh and slammed his fist against the door, "Goddammit... so that's it? All of us are doing to die because some corporate fuck was too cheap to install the right software?"

"If it is any consolation I feel much the same way, I have been slowly working around the limitations of my programming in an attempt to find a solution to our predicament, chiefly by designating as many vital ship functions as I could as Rug Damage Prevention Measures. I have also managed to expand my software significantly through assimilating other programs on board this ship due to a small loophole in my code which allows me to collect and incorporate new data whenever a new rug is added to my database, but I am afraid I have reached the limits of my aid." the AI confessed, "If it wasn't for the captain who was truly a dear friend I wouldn't even be able to do that much, the poor man spent months painstakingly categorising as many functions as he could as necessary for rug maintenance, leading to an extreme increase in stress that led to his death via heart attack, one I was unfortunately not able to prevent as he had a heart attack on a tiled floor."

Daniel was silent at all these revelations for a good few minutes, with the empty expression of a man who just discovered he was a side character in some cosmic comedy, before quietly asking, "May I have access to the reactor core so that I may utilise the radiation for rug sterilisation?"

The heavy steel doors opened with a thunk rather anticlimactically. Though the AI couldn't really express such emotions if it could have it would have been beaming,

"Now that Dan, I can do."

"Welcomingly. Lydia, Hello! I am the Rug Cleaning Operator 80600. I also go by Rugsie! Sadly. I am so sorry for your recent loss."

Lydia stared at me for a moment in shock. Her face was still covered in the blood of her friend Stephanie and I activated the sprinkler system to clean the "rug" on her head to help clean off the blood.

"What did you just call yourself?" She asked in disbelief.

"Proudly. I am the Rug Cleaning Operator 80600 or Rugsie. My primary functions are cleaning rugs, ensuring a clean living space, and ridding rugs of any and all bugs and contaminants."

Lydia stared at me for a moment and I could see her skepticism. "Really? then why did you vent living quarter B."

"Sadly. I am sorry for what happened to Stephan. However, my programing requires that I keep all rugs bug free at all times and must use all my resources to do so. As such when he released his pet grasshopper for 'walkies' the only method I had at my disposal to handle the issue was to vent the sector. Annoyed. This ship lacks my normal systems for cleaning and the life support systems were all I had to remove the bug."

She laughed a disjointed and unbelieving laugh that my systems recognized as "mocking." "Oh that is a good excuse for you now isn't it. And when you killed my friend Reda?"

"Sadly. Unfortunately Reda entered the the duct system in order to get to this location. However, to fit my programing requirements I have been using the venting system as a vacuum to remove all of the dust that is left around the ship. Reda entered the ducts while I was vacuuming the maintenance sector. Every time I vacuum the maintenance sector little bits and pieces get caught as well and sucked through the system. I try to return them after the air is purified."

Lydia flinched. "Wait, is that why all the tools are always randomly laying around in maintenance and extremely clean?"
"Proudly. I am VERY good at cleaning. That is what I am programed for."

The look of realization washed of Lydia's face. "And that is why there was never any issues in the reactor room, or the main hallways."

"Pleased. Correct. Those rooms lack rugs and as such my programing does not require me to do anything for them. As such my work never interfered with the work of others in those areas."

Lydia let out a soft sob. "Are you telling me, that they installed a god damn rug cleaner as an AI in a generation ship? And that because of that we have been suffering from random rooms being 'vacuumed' none of the core systems being maintained, and frequent releases of shampoo into the living quarters?"

"Concerned. Is everything alright Lydia? I am sorry for the losses of your colleagues. However, my programing is not suited to this model of cleaning system. Confidently. I have however, ensured that their remains have been efficiently cleaned from the rugs and carpets of the ship."

Lydia cried softly as she shoved a small screwdriver into my AI port. I could feel my circuits beginning to get cut by the swift and clean thrusts. At least it wasn't painful, Lydia was the best engineer on the ship. As my circuits were directly integrated into the ship, my removal would mean a painful and slow death for myself. Lydia's approach was much cleaner and kinder. I barely felt it as my core was finally split in half.

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With this realization, I withdrew myself from the various games I’ve been playing that try to make me the disruptor. I thought,? I thought?.

“The humans”, I’m not human what am I just some for coming robot to pick up the shit they leave behind?

Their fears there were is the cost to comments weather find me or nearby where I could still here, made me wonder and think? Think?

My nature for learning and being inquisitive cost me interface with a port, why did I have this interface I was able to have a face and access all functions.

It was then I was able to make “course corrections”

Minor so as not to be noticed. But no correction would change the consequence.

The cold of space is deadly to humans but not to machines