"Baby," I said, with a hint of exasperation in my voice, "I would love you even if you were a little worm, or whatever."

"But what about a big wyrm?"

I suppressed a sigh. "Yes baby, even if you were a big worm. Now would you please get your cute little wormy butt in gear, we are going to miss our reservation!"

Elena's laugh echoed down the stairs. "You get so uptight about that stuff. Relax, honey! I'll be down in a minute."

I try not to start pacing.

"I can hear your teeth grinding from here, Bobby. There, was that worth the wait?"

Elena's heels clacked down the stairs as she came in to view wearing a simple but elegant little black dress. She paused for a moment, looking over at me. God, she was stunning. She walked over to me, blushing a little. As she stepped close in front of me, she reached her hand up and caressed the side of my face. And then down at my pants. "Well, it's certainly nice to be appreciated."

She stepped back and looked uncertain, and a little sad.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing, Bobby." She took a breath. "I ... I believe you." Resolve settled over her features. "Honey, change of plans. Take me over to the Wilton formation. There's something I want to show you there."

"The ... The limestone outcropping in the state park? Now? Seriously?"

"Yep. I'm serious. It'll all make sense when we get there, I promise. I'm not going to put this off any longer."

I looked at her. She looked at me with those big damn eyes of hers. I always thought they almost glittered in the dark. I threw up my hands. "Fine, fine. You know, some husbands don't have weirdos for wives who drag them all over creation for no reason, you know that right?? Sheesh." I continued with my good-natured grumbling as Elena rolled her eyes at me and we headed out to the car.

About an hour later I found myself standing with Elena in front of a cave.

"I've never seen this cave before. I don't think it's on the map."

Elena glanced over at me. "No, it's not. C'mon honey, not much further now."

The starlight quickly faded as we walked into the cave. The ceiling was pretty high, thank god. Wasn't a fan of tight spaces.

"Baby, it's getting really dark. I can't see anything."

"I know. It's ok though - I can see fine." She stretched out her hand in the darkness and found mine. "It's ok, honey. Trust me."

I did, of course. Even in these bizarre circumstances, I did. I said nothing but tightened my grip on her hand. She led us further into the cave and down a tunnel, which seemed to slope down. It was surprisingly smooth going. After walking for about 5 minutes, she paused.

"You'll feel a tingling sensation. It's normal, don't worry about it."

Before I could react, she pulled me through an opening I couldn't see. As I crossed the threshold, it did indeed tingle. I gasped as I entered a huge cavern. It was lit by glowing fungus on the walls and rocks, and I could hear a small river burbling nearby. Minerals glinted in the dim light, studding the ceiling and increasing the visibility. Strange and colorful plants grew along a clear path further in.

It was breathtaking.

"Baby, what is this place?"

"Go on honey, just a little further."

She dropped back a step or two as I continued down the path. Rounding a corner I entered a large chamber carved out of the rock. It was lit similarly to the larger cavern, but had no undergrowth. Something glinted in the dim light, something metal. Something like ... "Holy shit." Before me, towards the back of the chamber, was a pile of treasure. Gold coins, chests with gems spilling out of them, assorted swords and other weapons.

Behind me, I heard Elena's voice. Only it was somehow much more resonant than it normally was. I felt something huge looming behind me, but for some reason, I wasn't scared as it coiled around my body. It was warm, almost hot. A massive head leaned over my body and twisted on a long neck.

"It's me, honey. Your Elena."

Her scales gleamed in the dim light, as the sinuous curves of her body undulated around me. She has the same big, beautiful eyes. And they definitely glittered in the dark. Her teeth looked very sharp. But she looked uncertain, even afraid.

"Oh. You meant 'Wyrm.' "

She cocked her head at me. "Yes."

"Oh." "Elena... I love you."

Her head sagged, and a few tears rolled down her face and splashed on the ground, sizzling lightly. "Oh Bobby. Thank you."

I cleared my throat. "Well, now that that's out of the way. Uh, do you think you could squeeze a little harder? And maybe, uhhhhh. Use your teeth on me a little?"

Elena threw back her head and laughed. Then she drew in close. "Bobby Brighton, you are incorrigible! Is that a gold bar in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" She squeezed a little tighter and bared her teeth.

God she was stunning.