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WolvenHeart0014 t1_iydp6qi wrote

"You mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"For once in my life, can you SHUT UP?!"

>Hi there. The name's Johnathan Grikks. And my sword hates me.

"YOU SWING LIKE A INFANT!"

"No I don't, asshole!"

The man slashes at the throat of his oponent, causing them to choke on their own blood.

"And your aim sucks more then you mother does on a daily basis!"

"I WILL THROW YOU IN THE OCEAN IF YOU WON'T STOP."

>Incase you couldn't tell, my sword LOVES to insult me. As it turns out, it's a pretty well known sword for that specific reason.

The man screams in frustration, repeatedly slamming the sword into a rock that just splits on every impact.

"You call yourself a warrior?! Your grip feels like that of a little girl!"

"JUST SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS!!"

>I'd say the hatred is pretty mutual. However...

The man stands atop the head of a dragon's corpse, bloodied and cut.

"What was that, a mosquito?! Why'd you take so long?!"

"...I'm just gonna take that one as a compliment... partner."

>It's still a pretty dependable blade.

"You smell of cheese and urine!"

>Still hate it though.

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xwhy t1_iydq6e3 wrote

Amusing. A good benchmark for stories to come.

Long ago, (before my time) there used to be a show called Can You Top This?

That's what you've begun!

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WolvenHeart0014 t1_iyevn4x wrote

Good to know/hear!

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xwhy t1_iyeyv3u wrote

One thing or another all afternoon. I have the idea of a story in my head and a few of the sword quips (but they'll have to write themselves as the story progresses). Hopefully I'll have something before the evening is out (EST).

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jabbone t1_iyesw25 wrote

Love the Monty Python reverence. Good show

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