YOMGuitar t1_ixmojbz wrote
I couldn't help but giggle at the sailor as he swam towards my island. He was so eager to meet his doom, and I was more than happy to oblige. "Please," he begged as he reached the shore. "Stop. You're so bad at singing."
I put on my best pouty face and batted my eyelashes at him. "But why?" I asked in a high-pitched voice. "Don't you want to hear me sing?"
He shook his head adamantly. "No, no, no," he said pleadingly. "You're terrible!"
I pretended to be hurt by his words and lay down on the sand dramatically. But deep down, I was delighted that I had finally found someone who could resist my charms.
I cleared my throat and then began to sing in a deep, throaty voice. My song was filled with words of temptation, seduction, and desire. The sailor's eyes widened as I sang, and he backed away slowly. I could see that he was trying to fight against the urge to be lured by meβan effort which was eventually in vain.
As my song came to an end, the sailor found himself standing before me, completely under my spell. I smiled mischievously and slowly began to draw him closer with every wave that washed ashore. He was powerless against what I had done; he could no longer resist my charms.
And that is how I lured my first sailor to his death. But it certainly wouldn't be the last. With time and practice, I had become a master at my craft β an unbeatable siren with a song that none could ignore. My island would soon become overrun with willing sailors, all of them delivered to their watery graves by me, their irresistible siren. I had found my true power, and it was beautiful.
hs1308 t1_ixmqt3e wrote
Started off great but you could have taken the story in a different direction.
The siren was delighted to have found someone who could resist her charm, which was a really good hook but eventually you still had her charm him. That was a bit off for me.
Sorry, but honest feedback.
YOMGuitar t1_ixmy1eb wrote
I appreciate the honest feedback. I actually agree with you on your point. Always room for improvement. Thank you π
HeartwarmingTroll t1_ixmqw27 wrote
Nice twist!
YOMGuitar t1_ixmy7j9 wrote
Thank you π ππΌ Had some fun with this one
HeartwarmingTroll t1_ixnicmx wrote
I can tell! Keep writing <3
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