hs1308 t1_ixmqt3e wrote on November 24, 2022 at 5:01 PM

Reply to comment by YOMGuitar in [WP] You're a siren who is trying to lure a shipful of sailors to their death. "Please", one of the sailors beg as he swims onto your island, almost too willingly. "Stop. You're so bad at singing." by ReadySetSantiaGO

Started off great but you could have taken the story in a different direction.

The siren was delighted to have found someone who could resist her charm, which was a really good hook but eventually you still had her charm him. That was a bit off for me.

Sorry, but honest feedback.

YOMGuitar t1_ixmy1eb wrote on November 24, 2022 at 5:51 PM

I appreciate the honest feedback. I actually agree with you on your point. Always room for improvement. Thank you 😊