Submitted by _foolishly t3_z3ie49 in WritingPrompts
Comments
_foolishly OP t1_ixmgb4n wrote
applause this is better than I could have hoped for.
As an aside, I can't help but imagine how funny it would be if Reddit karma was the price of admission to heaven.
wannawritesometimes t1_ixmi75y wrote
Thanks so much! :-D
lol, I honestly considered going that route of having Reddit karma being the currency there. It could've been a funny alternative to have someone go to that afterlife and find out they're just surrounded by karma farming bots!
Deloptin t1_ixnvf0t wrote
I think replace heaven with hell and you'd be spot on, considering the average reddit user
craftypanda786 t1_ixmfwtw wrote
Love this
wannawritesometimes t1_ixmhpoz wrote
Thanks! :-)
riles-s t1_ixnwi4k wrote
This is very clever. I really like how it seems the text is able to recognize thoughts rather than actual speech. That's something I had never thought of.
I also imagined this person retaining their physical body in this place, but I think their consciousness existing here instead is a very cool idea!
wannawritesometimes t1_ixosghd wrote
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :-)
riles-s t1_ixnvqu3 wrote
Purchase a subscription? What is this nonsense? How great can the afterlife be that I have to pay for it? Moreover, what is the price?
All these questions and more flooded my head as I stared perplexed at the white text floated dauntingly above my head. I figured I would give this afterlife a try, and finally asked one of those questions out loud after a long while just staring.
"But.. what do I have to pay?"
As if to answer my question, the text began to glitch, forming static boxes, letters being momentarily cut in half before being replaced by new ones.
"A monthly subscription is required. You will have the means to pay when you accept the purchase," I read aloud. That was too much gray area involved in this deal, but what else could I have done? Stand in the abyss for all eternity? Below the text was a lightbulb, turned off, a string dangling below it. Though the void was black, it wasn't necessarily dark.
I slowly approached the bulb and pulled the string towards me. In an instant, the bulb lit up much brighter than I had expected. It was blinding and I felt the aching behind my eyes as I attempted to shield them with my arms.
I stood there a few minutes, pinching my eyes shut before I realized the light had ceased. I opened my eyes to find myself standing before my own grave. How long had it been? I could've sworn I was just in my hospital bed taking my final breath, and when I opened my eyes, I was already buried.
Confused, I stood standing in front of my grave for another several minutes. It was surreal, knowing my now lifeless body was buried six feet beneath where I stood.
A mist had slowly started to fill the graveyard. The graveyard was built on a short hill next to a pond. From where I stood, when the fog got thick, I could no longer see the pier, which wasn't too far from my grave. In fact, the only thing I could see was my grave and the tall cloaked figure standing on top of my headstone.
I tilted my head, confused. "Who are you?" I would be lying if I said there wasn't a faint hint of attitude or sass in my tone. The figure lowered its hood to reveal a face, much like mine in my youth. I stared back at those brown eyes and short, unruly waves sculpted in my hair. The face was quite handsome, reminding me of a time when I was much more desirable and depended less upon my younger family members.
The figure sat down on my headstone shaped like a crucifix, crossing his legs and smirking. "What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Naming your price," he said simply. Before I could ask him what the price was, he handed me a sword. "This is your scythe. You will travel to the afterlife with me, assuming my form as you see me now and proceed to live your life among the dead as you would if you were still alive."
I nodded, eager to retain a younger appearance again. Yet I was still bursting with questions. "Will I age anymore?" The figure simply shook his head.
"What does the afterlife look like?"
"It's a nearly perfect replica of the living world," he replied. "With one small catch." He proceeded to smirk at me before continuing. "Time works differently. We have no time. The world darkens at what you'd call 'night' and the sun rises during the 'day,' but time is irrelevant to us. It's a concept that we don't pay any attention to. It's simply the motion of the world that we follow."
"Isn't that what we consider time in the living world? The progression of night and day?"
"Truly," he said. "Time is much more complicated. At any point in time, different people are experiencing different events, recognizing different indications of 'time'."
"I see," I replied, looking down at the sword in my hand. The blade was thin and long, with a black handle I could grip at the end. "What do I do with this?"
"I'm sure you're wondering what the price is," he said, his smile widening. "Using this scythe, you will collect human souls. Each month you have a check-in during which you submit your harvested souls to the higher-ups. If you meet your goal, your subscription is fulfilled and you may continue to live among the dead."
I just stared at him, again, perplexed. "So, you want me to harvest the souls of dying humans?"
"They don't have to be dying," the figure said ominously. "Any other questions?"
"Just one," I began, nervously. "What happens if I don't fulfill my subscription?"
The answer was something I was dreading, though he never gave me a straight answer. All he did was laugh and say "you don't want to know what happened to the last guy who didn't meet his requirements..."
wannawritesometimes t1_ixot8az wrote
Ooh, I like the dark ending!
riles-s t1_ixq5sc0 wrote
Thank you!
SpoonusBoius t1_ixpae75 wrote
"I was never one for microtransactions," I muttered. "No, thanks."
That, as it turned out, was a mistake. See, I was born and raised a cheapskate; my parents were great, lovely people, but they were always thrifty. My clothes were more often from Goodwill than anywhere else, and if they had to shop at five different stores on the same shopping trip to get the cheapest prices, that is what they would do. Naturally, that behavior rubbed off onto their children. Even though I was definitely the most liberal with my spending - I had a frequent habit of online gaming - I never, ever purchased any subscription, and I never purchased any microtransactions. That was always a recipe for disaster.
I didn't know what the cost even was, but I was too quick to shut it down to even consider hearing out the strange popup. Not worth it, I thought. I was already dead. What harm could it possibly do?
The popup changed its letters immediately, responding to my refusal. Are you sure you do not want to purchase the subscription?
"I'm certain. I don't do recurring payments-"
Rejection noted. Assigning random post-demo beta limbo universe. If at any point you wish to purchase the Afterlife Expansion Package, simply vocalize your change of heart. Until then, have fun with the free-to-play content!
The popup changed one last time. Assigned beta limbo serial number is one-two-three-five-eight. Loading...
"Loading? This isn't some video game-"
Rendering complete. Prepare to be dropped in beta limbo.
I somehow felt the floor give out from under me, even though I distinctly felt the lack of a body. My physical form, however, was returned to me quickly. I found myself on the floor of a fortress, completely surrounded by people in plate armor wielding spears and shields. I groaned as I rose, and the people pointed their spears at me in lock-step. I wasn't sure if I could die again, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I put my hands in the air.
A person - this one easily two feet taller than the rest - pushed their way through the crowd and stared me down. Their plate was shined to the point that I could see my own reflection in it, but most of it was covered with a white tabard adorned with sigils of weapons. They spoke, and amazingly a woman's voice came out of the hulking figure. "A new transfer? What world are you from?"
"I- Well-" I stumbled over my words in shock.
"The name of your planet. Come on. No judgment here. Even if you're from Hectea we won't make fun of you. Death is the great equalizer, is it not?" she said. I think she would have been smirking if I could have seen her face.
"Earth," I supplied after another moment of stammering.
"Earth, huh? I haven't heard of a newcomer from that world in a long time. They're usually all crazy zealots who are more than willing to sell themselves into the Afterlife..." She took her helmet off, revealing an incredibly plain-looking woman with a terrible tan line around her eyes. "Well, it hardly matters. We're all here now. Come on. I'll show you around." She took two steps before shouting at everyone else, "Back to your posts, everyone! The fort won't defend itself."
The other knights filed away, all of them mumbling to themselves. "You'll have to forgive them all," the tall knight said. "They're excited for a newcomer. It's been a while since we've had a fresh face."
"I felt very welcomed when they all pointed spears at me," I replied sarcastically.
"It's a precaution. If you were an enemy, you would have burst into flame the moment they leveled their spears at you."
"An enemy? I'm not sure I understand-"
"Welcome to the club, newbie." She smiled at me. "All of us here don't really understand why we're here, or how this place exists. We just fight."
"Fight?"
She didn't answer. Instead, she led me up a flight of stairs on top of the fortress walls. On the horizon, a huge camp was assembled with hundreds, if not thousands, of tents pitched across an expanse I could not possibly have estimated the size of. Enough black smoke poured from the top of it that I almost thought the whole thing was on fire.
"All of us either couldn't accept the afterlife subscription right away or refused to," she said. "Oh, by the way, my name is Teresa. I'm in charge, but only because no one else wants to be. Anyway, what we do here is hold the fort. In front of us is an army that never stops, but it only attacks once every two weeks. Behind us is an entire country full of innocent people trying to live their lives. We're all that's stopping those guys from destroying it."
"Okay... And?" I asked, expecting more.
"And? What do you mean?"
"Why do you protect it?"
"Because that's what this world is, newbie. That is how things work here. The reborn fight the battle so that those still living through their demo have a chance to make their choice when they die. We cannot die twice." She pointed to the opposite side of the fortress. "Every single person back there hasn't even died once yet. That is what limbo is. Locked in a state between life and death. We are denied the peace of dying and the freedom of living. Our purpose is defined for us. Now, yours is as well. And that purpose is to fight."
"I... am not sure how to respond to that," I said, perplexed.
"You don't need to respond. When the time comes, all you have to do..." she stepped toward me, and for the first time I realized the sky above us was a dark, crimson red. Her eyes changed from a dull brown to a terrifying scarlet. "...Is kill."
riles-s t1_ixq6hz2 wrote
That's a very interesting take! Coming up with that state of limbo between life and death was very clever. I like that change.
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ph30nix01 t1_ixo7bhe wrote
This to me means I can just make something for myself. Sooo thats not so bad.
[deleted] t1_ixmhykm wrote
[removed]
wannawritesometimes t1_ixmff3e wrote
My lungs gasp for breath. Even with the ambu bag forcing air into my mouth, it's not enough. The pain in my chest builds, and I know it won't be long now. Sirens wail overhead. Darkness begins closing in, bringing my vision to a tiny pinprick of light, until even that disappears. Sensations and sounds follow soon after, leaving me in a dark, barren, silent void.
Surprisingly, all the negative emotions I'd been holding at the end – fear, doubt, regret, pain – vanish. Nothing remains now except an overpowering sense of peace. I wait there for a few moments in the pitch black nothingness before I realize something especially odd: I still am. I no longer have a physical body, but I'm somehow still me. Weird.
I wonder what this place–
The demo has ended. Subscription required for entry into the afterlife.
The words pop up in bold, white text against the black backdrop. I would have jumped at their sudden appearance if I'd still had a body to do so.
What the... They need some kind of–
FAQ
The original text is abruptly replaced with the simple string of letters.
Okay then. Cool. Um... What is the–
What is the afterlife like?
The afterlife is a place of peace and contentment for those who choose it. This place goes by many names, such as paradise, heaven, or nirvana.
Oh. Are any of my fam–
Are my deceased family and friends in the afterlife?
Yes and no. Some have paid for the afterlife subscription. Others have not. As mentioned in our privacy policy, we cannot give specific names of those in the afterlife.
There's a privacy po–
Privacy Policy
Our privacy policy was last updated at the time of the beginning of the universe.
1. Afterlife Services...
Yeah, okay. That was rhetorical. So, what's the cost of–
What does the afterlife subscription cost?
An afterlife subscription is paid with a currency called 'Karma'. Karma is...
Wait, Karma? Like the–
Afterlife Karma is not in any way affiliated with the digital point system of 'karma' on certain websites within the physical realm.
Right, sorry. Makes sense. Anyway, what were you saying about the cost–
What does the afterlife subscription cost?
An afterlife subscription is paid with a currency called 'Karma'. Karma is earned via positive choices while one is experiencing physical life on one's planet. Similarly, Karma is lost via negative choices. Upon completion of a physical life, the sum total of one's Karma is calculated. Those who have a positive balance are given a choice of spending that balance toward an afterlife subscription.
Remembering the feeling of gulping, I form my next question. What if you don't–
What are the alternatives to an afterlife subscription?
A place of eternal punishment does not exist. Anyone with a negative balance is given an additional helping of empathy. Then, the user must reincarnate and try again. The user will continue this process until their total positive Karma is at least 50% greater than the user's cumulative negative Karma for all past lives. This process ensures that each user must eventually make his or her physical realm a better place for everyone.
Anyone who has a positive Karma balance is allowed a choice:
1 – Reincarnate and experience physical life again. The Karma balance is retained and any gain or loss from subsequent physical lives will be included in later totals.
2 – Return the user's essence to the universe.
3 – Subscribe to the afterlife for whatever duration the user can afford. At the end of the subscription period, the user must choose from options 1 or 2.
Wow. Um... So what is my–
What's my score? How long would it grant me in the afterlife? And how does it compare to others?
The average score in the afterlife is 9,247 Karma. This would equate to 9.247 millennia.
Your score is 803 Karma.
Oh. That's all?
Correct.
If I still had shoulders, they would slump with disappointment. Okay, one last question before I choose. Can I request–
Requesting additional empathy.
Reincarnaters are allowed to request additional doses of empathy before reincarnation. There is no cost for this service.
That's what I want. I can do better this time. I know it.
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r/WannaWriteSometimes