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WillCuddle4Food t1_j0oy2nj wrote

"So...let me get this straight. You just need to know how to...open a door?"

Arcturis flinched at the question, wishing he was the bead of sweat that ran down his brow. With a hard swallow, he nodded at Baelith, his demonic patron. "Y-yes, my lord...this servant is deeply sorry for his fai-"

"Oh, thank fuck!"

The relieved exclamation shocked the young warlock as he saw the horned demon general sit in front of the tiny trap mechanism on the door and began fiddling with it almost gleefully.

"B-begging your pardon, Lord Baelith...you seem...excited?" Arcturis questioned meekly while standing dutifully to the side. It was a stupid compound lock that simple thieves' tools couldn't have picked. He'd sought simple insight from the demonic powerhouse that enabled him to perform wonders and even granted him an unholy weapon to defend himself.

And that intimidating being was happily tinkering at the lock with what he could only interpret as a hellish smile marred by scar, fang, and soured brimstone on his breath.

"Yes." The measured reply was accompanied by simple clicks triggered by long slender claws moving at impossible angles as the demon lord toiled happily. "Wrath and slaughter lose their lustor after a few thousand years. Slaying your enemies and destroying their will to live is a hollow accomplishment if there is nothing else to sweeten the victory. Constant success without challenge...without gain...has left little desire to press on."

The explanation surprised them both as he lock gave way to the nightmarish tyrant's fiddling. Still, Baelith seemed pleased to have done such an oddly simple task, leaving Arcturis with renewed worry when his patron turned to face him.

"Call again when you need another task completed." The graveled voice instructed as its owner rose. "And don't let the tasks become more complicated than they need to be. The bolts for the hinges were always facing you. This door is about as secure as the belt of a glutton at an eternal feast."

With a groan, the towering being rose to his feet and cursed when his head hit the ceiling. His arm snaked into the room and returned with a number of items in hand, including a sword riddled with infernal runes. "Now, as payment, I'll be taking these. Best of luck."

The deafening roar of flames that consumed Baelith mirrored his warlock's confusion that riddled him from nape to naval. The very reason he'd wanted into the room was robbed of him. Arcturis could only wrestle with his anger and bewilderment.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" He yelled into the air, releasing fresh frustration at seemingly nothing.

The twisted pleasure of his patron seeped into his veins as that hellish voice echoed in his mind. "A lesson. Make sure the price for the help you seek is a cost you are willing to pay, especially when you are capable of solving the problem yourself."

At his hip, Arcturis felt the weight of the blade he'd come to steal added to his own. Yet again, he found himself confused.

"And sometimes there are unexpected rewards that come from fucking around and finding out."

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WillCuddle4Food t1_j0oy6a1 wrote

Just a heads up, this is my first submission ever. Constructive feedback is greatly appreciated.

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Chryses90 t1_j0p09xl wrote

Thoroughly enjoyed it! I especially liked the elegant writing in contrast to the sudden and down to earth 'Best of luck' and WTF. Also, kudos for the infernal metaphor - stuff like this is the reason I visit this sub.

So please do us all a favor, and keep writing

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WillCuddle4Food t1_j0p0t6e wrote

First, happy cake day. Second, thank you! I will definitely keep my eyes peeled for more prompts that inspire me. I appreciate the positive feedback.

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russrussrussrussruss t1_j0pf9tx wrote

Fellow amateur here, this is great! I never would have guessed this was your first submission, keep it up! I also posted here, feel free to give it a read.

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Hminney t1_j0q7isv wrote

Well written, great flow and captures the concentration of the demon. In a short story there isn't time, but I would like to hear more about why the demon agreed to help the warlock without eating his soul, and if the hinges were available, why the demon opened the lock itself

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WillCuddle4Food t1_j0qblwg wrote

That's absolutely fair. I was basing this more on the concept of a D&D Warlock, which would explain the deviation away from the soul consuming pact. That said, I definitely could write an afterward to elaborate.

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stealthcake20 t1_j0psug2 wrote

I thought the pacing was good and the dialogue felt natural. The descriptions did a good job of putting me in the room. Great job!

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