The hospital room went dark as I closed my eyes, my breath stilling. I expect nothingness, to find nothing waiting for me on the other side, to see only blackness. But there was more, so much more: there was colour.

"There he is," a musical voice calls, her face swimming into view.

I don't know her, but I keep thinking that maybe I do. She's tall, much taller than any human I've ever seen, covered in a black robe with black feathers around the edge of the hood. Her eyes are a bright yellow, glowing slightly in her pale face. She has a smattering of freckles across her nose, a tendril of her red hair hanging out under the hood.

I look around as my vision expands, taking on a more surreal vision. I'm lying on my back in the grass, looking up at a sky that can't decide what colour it wants to be. I can see streaks of pink, purple, blue, even green, like the sun is setting and rising at the same time.

I pull myself up, leaning back on my hands as I deal with the faint dizziness. The woman holds her long, thin hand out to me, and I stare at it, puzzled.

"Come on," she says encouragingly. "We have a bit of a walk."

I stare at her hand for a few more seconds, then accept her offer to help me up. Standing, the top of my head comes up to the woman's breasts, her robe tipping open in her movement to reveal the white dress underneath.

"Where am I?" I ask, staring around at the trees. Some of them are tall and straight, others are so gnarled and twisted I'm surprised they're not sending leaves out into the ground.

"To be honest, I'm not sure," the woman says, turning a little and gesturing me to follow her. I fall into step beside her, and she walks slowly so I can keep up. "Humans are usually pretty stable when it comes to predicting their Death Realm. The hell or heaven of their culture, nothingness, returning to the world... but you seem to have built your Death Realm out of forgotten dreams."

I walk beside her, glancing around. Now and then, I hear something familiar - squealing tyres, yelling adults, the happy screams of a child - but I can't see where these sounds come from.

"So... where are we going?" I ask, stepping a little closer. Her black robe, though it reminds me of the Grim Reaper, exudes a feeling of comfort.

"We're going for a walk," she says with a smile, looking down to me. "We're going to discover what will make your eternity tolerable, even happy."

I look down and away. A heavy feeling on my heart makes my mouth dry. I can't feel happy, I don't deserve it.

"Now, now," the woman said with a smile, placing her large hand on my shoulder, "take it from someone who's been doing this for almost three thousand years - no one deserves the flames of hell, even if they think they do. Everyone has a single redeeming streak, and that's what we focus on here."

I frown, looking back to her. "Even Hitler?"

She smiles. "Hitler was kind to his dogs. He got the Death Realm he deserved, though some might not agree." She stops to look at me, her other hand on my shoulder. "What is it about you that redeems all your flaws?" she asks, dragging two fingers down my face so I have to close my eyes.

"I don't know," I say after a while, turning away from her. I rub my arms with my hands, feeling the yawning maw of depression fighting to surface.

"Yes, you do, you just won't admit it to yourself. Won't admit you were a good person." The woman swoops around behind me and places a hand on my shoulder, the other over my forehead. "Focus."

I try to throw her off, but something is holding my body still. I sigh and close my eyes, frowning into her hand. Nothing but regrets pass my eyes.

The woman says something I can't quite hear, and the dark thoughts brighten, twisting. The baby rabbit I saved in high school, taking the blame for some stupid prank my friends played in primary school. The handful of change I gave that homeless guy once.

Little things, little acts of kindness that build up inside me, becoming a big thing. I could feel it, just as I can feel the tears dripping down my cheeks.

"There you go," she says, gently letting me go. "There's your Death Realm."

I open my eyes to find a door in front of me. It's plain brown, a cheap knocker and a frosted window. The door that graced my parents' house when I was growing up.

"Off you go," she whispers, giving me a gentle push.

"What's behind the door?" I ask, and hate the trembling in my voice.

"Forgiveness," she said, a rustling of feathers behind me catching my attention. Your Death Realm... is forgiveness.

I turn back, but the woman is gone. It's just me on the grass. Behind the door, I can hear laughing and talking. Can I do it? Can I open that door?

The choice is taken away from me as someone inside opens the door, a dog barrelling out into the grass. He grabs my pants and pulls me towards the door, where I can see my family sitting around a table.

I turn back again, unsure, and see a large black raven, it's eyes electric yellow, watching me from a tree nearby. I gulp, take a breath, and allow the dog to drag me inside.

Good luck, Keridwen says, her voice carrying on the wind as she opens her wings and sails across the grass, headed for the sunrise.