"The first thing you'll notice is the sound." She said. "There will be none. Or rather, you'll think there's nothing. But that's only because you're still on this side of the world." She looked up at the white tile ceiling, gaining composure as she continued. "The closer you get to the other side, the clearer you will hear it. It won't get any louder, you'll just be able to make it out better as you move."

His blue eyes shined brighter than they ever had when he wasn't sick. He was staring up at her as she spoke, "What will I hear?" He asked.

"Everything." She responded. "Life is too big, too complicated for us to see how it works, but we can hear it. When the time is right." She gripped his hand even harder. "You'll hear about everything you've done in ways you've never thought of. All of the good you've accomplished, all of the lives you've affected, all of the changes you've contributed to the world."

He laughed, "Because that list is huge for somebody like me." He looked down at himself. She turned and shot him a deep gaze, not of anger or frustration, but one that a teacher might give their promising pupil.

"But it is." She said, "Every person you've ever given directions to on the street. Every bug you stepped around instead of on. Every hurting soul that you took the time to say 'hi' to in public, whether you knew they were hurting or not." He turned and returned her gaze, thinking about what she said.

She continued on, "The moments you took to play into a children's game, all of the customers you sold to, every person you played alongside in online games for no more than a few minutes, every question you asked in class that others were too afraid to." She could see his eyes as he thought about the words that left her mouth.

"Life isn't about the hit novel you succeeded or failed to publish, or the Supreme Court case you did or didn't argue. It's doesn't matter if you were a president or a famous director or a global philanthropist." Tears began to form in her eyes, "None of that is what matters in the end."

He began to tear up alongside her as she continued, "It's about the sweet 70-year old Grandmother looking after her grandchild who remembers the kind young man who assisted her with navigating a confusing website. It's about the old man who never forgot the adult stranger that played along with his medieval speaking game when he was just a toddler, a moment he thinks about when he plays with his own children. It's about the barista who you told had nice hair, which was the first compliment that had received in a long time, a moment that became a bright spot in their life they turned around."

"And you'll hear all of it, all at once." She spoke as her voice began to break, "It may seem like a lot, but it won't feel like it, not when it's happening." She gripped his hand even tighter as his own grip loosened, "In what feels like moments, you'll feel your mind expand as the universe thanks you for what you've done, for the moments and happiness you've created. It thanks you by showing you what you've done." She spoke through a tight throat and a stuffing nose, "It'll sound like a song as you pass along, the most beautiful song ever composed. A song that helps you find peace."

Tears were streaming down her face now as the time between beeps grew longer. Suddenly, he gripped her hand tightly. She looked up and met his gaze. Nothing else mattered but his eyes, his bright blue eyes that seemed to shine despite the lack of natural light. She could see nothing except the appreciation and thoughtfulness that sat just behind his gaze.

In that moment, nothing else mattered as he held her hand tight.

Then he spoke,

"I can hear it."

_____________________________________________________________

Author's note: I can't believe you've done this, u/katkaneki . I don't know what's happening or where you are, but I'm thinking about you. Because of you, I've written something that I am proud of and I feel grateful for. I really hope, if this isn't just a prompt, that you find what you're looking for, whatever that is. But I also hope you understand that my life is this much better because you took the time to post the prompt. I would not have written this or felt this way unless you had taken the time to post this. Thank you.

"I'm scared", I told him.

He held my hand in his. His hand, always strong and rough, was soft and gentle as a whisper. "I understand, my love. It will be fine. I'm here for you. Always."

Just listening to him brought tears to my eyes. I sobbed as he softly caressed my hand, my arm, as he sat on the plastic chair beside my hospital bed . "Will it hurt?"

"No, my love. You won't feel a thing but peace." His gravelly voice was thick with emotion, his eyes filled with tears. "It'll be okay."

Peace. After the doctors, the medicines, the chemotherapy, there would be finally peace. It hurt me to know how hopeful I felt to know that. I started to cry all over again.

A thought terrified me. "What about you? What about us?"

He smiled like the sun breaking through the clouds. "I'll always be there for you. Always. I love you."

It felt like an eternity since I heard him say those words to me. "I love you, too, always."

He smiled at me. He looked up, over me, maybe at the machines monitoring me, maybe beyond. His eyes narrowed, slightly. He looked back at me.

"It's not long now." Both of his hands found mine and held it gently, like a hug. "I love you."

And then he was gone. But I wasn't scared or alone, but comforted as I felt weaker, more tired. He'd been dead for years; but now I knew I would see him again and soon.

[Poem]

No pain now and for forever after
Pleasure only coursing through each vein
I'll die once more choking on my laughter
And God himself will declare me sane
 
So which way am I headed now, I ask
As I pack it all up to up and leave
I light a cigarette and fill up my flask
Rum for my after afterlife, if you'll believe

The warmth is the first thing you notice. It feels like that moment when you go outside on the first warm day of spring after a long winter. The sun hits your skin just right, burning off the months of darkness and cold. Usually, you only get to feel it in your hands, your arms, and your face; but this is a whole body experience. You can feel it in your chest, your stomach, your back… Everywhere.

Instead of burning off months of darkness and cold, it burns off years of sadness and hurt. Our bodies carry our experiences. The good feel light, transient. The bad are heavy and solid. As we age our bodies get dragged down, sagging and drooping under all of things in our lives that didn’t go according to plan. All of the moments of shame and pain.

In death those things no longer matter. They are nothing more than superfluous weight that kept us grounding in life. The hardships in life are what make the victories that much sweater. They are what drive us forward. No one will remember our broken bones, our darkest thoughts, or our most shameful moments when we die. They will remember the good times they had with us. The secret smiles, the drunken guffaws, and the stolen kisses.

As we leave this mortal plan behind we take the good with us, because that is what matters. The goodness we bring to the world leaves a light and warmth for those that come after, or for ourselves when we come back. We are born from that energy, that positivity. We do not know pain when we are born, or fear, or want, or need. We are born of positive things, because we cannot bring the negative with us from our past life. It is too heavy. To unimportant. We are born light and only add the heaviness of life to keep us grounded so that we can recognize and appreciate the good when it comes.

The first thing that struck him was the lack of it. The incessant beeping of that damned heart monitor had finally stopped. He cracked open his eyes, only to find himself in a rather unfamiliar place.

No bright white hospital lights.

No blue medical curtains.

No more tubes inserted uncomfortably in his nose.

No more bindings restraining him to the bed.

No more excruciating pains in his ribs.

He took a deep breath; The first so clear and clean in... years. Had it been that long? Pushing himself into a sitting position, he realised the thing he would miss the most.

Gazing at his empty palm, he clasped his hands together. The missing warmth. He would miss it dearly.

But it was behind him now.

As he stood up, three portals opened before him. Startled, he peered into each one.

First, through the purple portal, was a great wooded forest, filled with towering evergreens, with a great alpine mountain in the background. As he angled his head to see more, the shadow of a great dragon crossed the mountain, as a great roar pervaded the forest, rustling twigs and leaves off the trees.

Second, through the green portal, lay a silvered city of colossal steel skyscrapers. Flying cars zoomed from building to building in a flawless efficiency, as robotic assistants helped along a human family picking fresh leaves from a tea tree.

In awe, he finally, hesitantly, walked up over to the third portal. Through its yellow frame was... Home. The familiar smells of the wooden bedframe. The wafting fragrance of fresh and clean bedsheets, permeated all with a mother's love. The familar scene outside the window, the one he had spent hours and hours staring at, analysing every single detail as he procrastinated or daydreamed.

Pondering over the possibilities, who knew what world he could potentially find himself stuck in.

Perhaps, perhaps he would know which one he chose.

Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to choose again.

As he took that last, familiar step in...

He already knew he made the right choice.

"Do i belive in a life after death?" i quietly asked myself in a low whisper.the question was live in my mind because i had resently been told my life was going to end.

"Well it's easier on myself and others to say that, yes there is". That was the first anwser that came to mind and a correct one "But do i belive that? Do i want to?" "How would it even work, is it my soul that goes to the afterlife? Am i my soul? Or is that just a battery for my mind to simulate me"

These kinds of thougths had occationaly been at the forefront of my mind when out and about. Taking up mindspace and paying rent with dread. And again i came to the same conclution i always did.

"Does it matter, and if not, why not?" It's was quite hard not to think about these things now. Given the figurative hourglass of life i had been shown.

"We have so many ideas of how things are after death. It would be impossible for only one of them to be right, all the ideas of the afterlife was made for the purpose of reasurance and to help with grief" I was rather selfaware of the pessimistic view I was looking at, but i couldn't really help it, given my current situation: Which was on a hospital bed, feeling a sad mix of awefull and dreadfull.

"But yes, it does matter, atleast to me because it really only does good, thinking positive an' all that" I said, anwsering my own question from before.
Then a magical little voice appeared, which didn't matter in most cases as that was just a name i had given my intrusive secondthoughts, I think.

"But you have never been one for choises, and knowing some science, it's irritating to make compromises in understaning if you have to try and fit religion in to it." it chided in my mind "allways go for the 'all of the above' option if there is one i've allways said, and besides. Most fun things happen if thats done!" came the continuation

"You know what..."I said to my thougths "For once i agree" I agreed "But how would i chose that option" I asked even though i already knew the anwser because, well, it's hard to not have general knowledge of you own thoughts. And anyways, I liked going through a good heap of logic anytime, even on my deathbed apparently.

My thoughts agreeing with my decision started explaining "So we know of that good ol' multiverse theory, with all the things about how the timeline splits whenever an outcome of a purely random event is decided. That way, a singular quantum scale events can have impacts on a macroscale" it began
"So every single quantum event that happens and has ever has happened made more 'timelines' (to chose a word) (Fun trick that, thinking in bracktes). And that was since the big bang. We are also quite sure that the fundamental forces were created therein. Which means that there are 'timelines' that are effectively parrallel universes from popular fiction. In that everything in the universe is enterly different from ours."

"Now. Most quantum events are not a binary system, with only two outcomes, it's the opposite really. Measuring a particle is a quantum event with an infinite continum of outcomes, and just before, we said the timeline splits after a quantum decision, and if there are infnite outcomes then there must be infnite timelines. And in the case of the bigbang, infinite multiverses, all of them different."

"Anyway so what i am trying to say is. That there is room all of it. Any fantasy and belief, any religion and their afterlives and current ones for that matter. And even if the soul doesn't exisist here: Then because there is room for it, your 'soul' must exsist somewhere if nessesary. Infact, you'd have infintly many 'souls', because if you have infinite room, there is always room for more. What im getting at is: You can think what you want and live what you want to, because you are going to do it anyways" my thoughts finnished off.

"Now thats all good and dandy and many other apriciative words. But i would like to be omewhat sure i get something good or atleast fair, but that doesn't seem possible" i gave as a comment to the tirade my thoughts ran me through.

The magical little voice came back with: "Well i have a feeling that that isn't going to matter anymore because, if you take your time to stop ignoring what im not, then you would notice that our suroundings have changed. And i think this isn't our hospital room."

"Thank you, but that wasn't needed" I said as i got out of my bed trying not to think too hard about how i was even able to do that and how i ended up *here* (even though i knew how it still wasn't nice to think about).
I stepped onto the "grass" (because any other word for ground vegitation was more wrong than grass) And made my way a little ways a way and said to myself/my magical little voice: "i have a feeling that our conversations are goin to be a bit of a theme in the... future. If that's what it is in this place", Hessitating because i had a suspicion, then mumbeling under my breath as i began walking away from where my bed had been a few... a little while, ago. "I really hope i don't have to learn a new 'time'. the one Einstein described was weird enough, and space too"

and so a new adventure had a starting place, and it too had an ending, in infinitely many ways, to infinitly many more beginings and endings, never and forever...

There is no afterlife, only the life you have lived.

Do not be afraid though. When the time comes, like a river reuniting with the sea you will return to those moments that made yours worth living. Those moments when you smiled to yourself for no apparent reason, when the urge to cry out of gratitude overwhelmed you, when great sadness washed over you because you knew that moment would not last forever. Only you couldn’t know that they do.

Time is never ending, constantly moving forward with seemingly no regard to the past, but know you have your dedicated space in the creation of the coming future. Nothing— not even the inescapable embrace of death— can take that from you, because it is yours. Every breath you ever took transformed the very atoms of existence, changing the the world around you in ways you never knew, and exist today in some way, shape, or form. Every laugh, every cry, every shout of yours will forever echo in the seemingly barren cavern of time, but barren it is not. You may not be aware of what comes after, for you and everything that makes you will be spread like dust in the raging winds of life, but you will forever exist in all that came before.

Sometime today, it will be you, tomorrow it may be me. But this moment right now, this seemingly insignificant moment of time, is ours. Read this and know that I love you. And as time continues on, know that this moment has its place in the history of forever.

Ears hear before the eyes see. Nurses talk around me. It's a blur. All a blur. Nothing quite makes sense.

Metal taste in my mouth.

Oh. Morphine.

Guess I didn't die.

A nurse smiles and says good morning as I shift on the gurney. It's afternoon. She's a liar.

I fade out again.

Everything a blur.

They're removing the catheter. No complications. The doctor is telling me about options.

Hormones. Prosthetics.

All bullshit.

Can't have kids.

Sex? Ha.

What's even the point?

The doctor notices. He gets my attention, "This isn't the end. You are more than just a body part."

I don't believe him. How could I? I built my life, my self, around this "just a body part." Change ain't so easy.

I was dead. He was talking to a corpse.

A punchline.

How could I ever be anything more than a punchline?

More blur. The usual blur of a life ignored, repressed. But life, nonetheless.

I jab my leg, depress the syringe. It's a cold sharp rush as the T hits my muscle. My new routine.

It's not so bad.

Lost some friends who didn't get it. Made some new ones.

Still an asshole, but at least I've got a good reason for it now.

Better than the uncertainty of death? Don't know, honestly. But at least it's something.

I died that day, sure. But, shit, what came after wasn't all that bad. Different, sure. Familiar? Mostly.

Hard to go back to familiar when you've had your whole idea of self cut from you without ceremony.

Looking back--and this stays between us--I was an idiot. The doc was right. I'm more than just a body part. More than my ability to make kids. It's kinda fucked up I believed that lie for so long. Kinda fucked up that lie almost killed me dead.

Turns out, I'm stronger than all that bullshit. Stronger than the pity. Stronger than the jokes at my expense.

I'm still here, fuckers. Come at me.

{p o e m}

‘Know what’s crazy I met him.’

‘Did you really? What he say?’

‘Don’t come back’

‘ hellava life huh...’

You look like a crystal all the lights, ultralight beaming off you.

‘Madness man. Madness,’

‘How so’

‘Like they really lied to be honest. He was cool as fawk, but without really saying anything.’

‘Yeah it’s different down there like he knows what it’s like to be really down....’

So you and me keep walking this city and it’s nice it’s beautiful but it’s still not what you thought. Kindve a let down.

‘What did you expect to be like some angel or something?’

‘Nah just like I don’t know like some big, judgement thing or whatever you know like the books, like the movies.’

‘When you were down there. Was it ever real... the movies and the books. Weren’t they just figments of some person’s imagination?’

‘Yeah but it was like convincing like really convincing. Thought it’d be hot shit to make it up here.’

‘We’re not up. We’re just.... here. Like you get to not live but just be. You’d think after what went on down there you’d be.... happy’

‘Yeah I guess, ain’t that some shit.’

For a moment I'm disoriented. I can't feel my arms or legs. I try to move them but there's nothing to move? I'm in darkness and don't know which way is up. Or down.

Why is there no gravity?

I start to hear music. It's low and soothing. It sounds orchestral with a full choir. It puts me in a calm mood as I'm beginning to understand what's happening. I see a light. It begins as a small point and then spreads out. Suddenly I can see where I am.

I'm floating in a spherical chamber that's slowly opening up like a flower. I'm just hovering and I see the inside of the chamber is covered in intricate patterns and designs. As I look beyond the opening sphere I see rows and rows of other spheres. Some opening, some closing, and many more closed. The closes spheres are covered in glowing patterns.

I hear a voice. Well, first I feel the voice so I won't be startled.

"Welcome back. It will take a moment to readjust. Remember that you do not have a physical body. You are a being of light and energy and love. You are infinite possibilities. You are safe and secure in this place."

For a moment my life, or what I thought was my life, washed away. I realized that my existence didn't begin with my birth. It began outside of what three dimensional beings called space and time. Memories came flooding back and I remembered everything. I remembered existing in this, my true form, and I remembered existing as a person. All of the people.

Warmth embraced me as I was guided from the chamber. I still kept trying to walk, and my form briefly sprouted legs. It took a moment to remember that I didn't need legs and I laughed. We all laughed. Such a thing was common and there was no shame in it.

I joined the Sharing. We all gathered after time in the spheres to share what we learned, what new insights into humanity we gained. I now remembered my life more clearly. In fact, with far more clarity than I'd had while on Earth. I saw everything I did and thought. I saw whom I loved and hated. I saw my mistakes. My heartbreaks. My triumphs and failures. And I understood what truly was a triumph and failure, which was far different than my perspective on Earth.

But while I was no longer that person, I also loved that person. I loved being that person, flaws and all. I loved seeing the world through those eyes, feeling the world through those senses, and understanding the world through an all too human mind. Like many of the people I'd been, this person was special and worth remembering.

So I Shared. I spoke of my life to the gathering. I shared what made me special, what made me unique, and what made me worthwhile. I didn't hold back about my flaws and failings. They were part of my story, and they made me who I was. I talked about seeing history through my eyes, seeing the world change, seeing people come and people go. I spoke of good times and regrets. In the end, I spoke about everything I figured out too late.

I listened as others shared. I loved hearing about their lives and insights. That's why we did this. That's why we explored what it meant to be human. Because in the end, despite our true nature, we were still human. We always would be. It's what made us strong and unique in the universe, and I loved who we were.

Finally, it was time to return to the spheres once again. Hopefully this time I'd retain some of my newly gained wisdom. While we could never remember everything, a few things would stick. Maybe I would make better choices? Or maybe I would have more fun. Perhaps my deeds would be larger than life and my mistakes would be legendarily epic. As the sphere closed, a new world of possibilities awaited.

I wondered who I would be this time.

As my eyes are slowly closing, i try to look at everything in the room in details a last time. I try to let it all sink in, as i feel the darkness creeping in, slowly but surely. There is no turning back, and memories are flushing in like a fresh deck of cards at a blackjack table. I have no time to judge them, it is just there. One after another. And then, it is finished. And there is only black. Nothing else. I am staring at a black void. Endless. No panic, no sufferings. For the moment, i am just not thinking. At the second i realise that, a light appears, growing and getting more and more intense.

-You ve been a sinner Josuah.

-My name is John.

• Let me finish please.

I stay quiet, eager to know what s next.

-You died of covid Josuah. You did not get the vaccine, why ?

• Because it is poison.

-Josuah for that you will come back to earth as a covid arn. You will be covid. Is that ok for you ?

-Absolutely not.

-Or you can be an irish pastor.

-okay that ll do.

And thereafter i was crying in the arm of a lady, and it was my mum, and love was here again.

"Welcome" a warm deep voice tells you, "you can open your eyes you know." You do, the voice belongs to tall man with black curly hair who smiles kindly at you. You're laying on soft grass and the sunlight is filtered through leaves of the trees around you, laughter and music fight for your attention from beyond your field of vision. "Am I?" "Dead, yes I'm sorry, welcome to the Asphodel meadows, i hope you will like it." "I, thanks." You say as the man helps you stand. You're in an Orchard and as far as your eyes can reach you see verdent trees and fields. "Technically you fought a bitter fight and died gloriously so if you want you do also have the right to go to Elysium, but most people seem to want to be here in the end, less rowdy. There are lakes further away and you don't have to work. If you have any hobbys your want to indulge in we can always accomodate them, but all in all, this is the land of peace, East what you will, rest where you will. You are safe here."

Somehow, I was sitting by a stream. Not a stream, THE stream, the one I dreamed about. The steam in woods by my house. I wasn’t dreaming though, I felt this. The sun was shining through the trees, it’s warmth not stopped by the leaves. I reached out and blocked the shine with my fingers. Non gnarled fingers. I flexed them so I could confirm what I felt. No pain. I brought my hand to my mouth,no mask and tube. Maybe I was dreaming. “Hello son.”

I whirled around at that voice, it was wired into my soul. I’ve never seen the man using before. At least not in the flesh. Only in photos had I seen the face before. An odd blend of myself and my eldest brother, but with bigger ears. “Dad? Am I dead?” The mid 20s man before me nodded. “Yes you are, the last of my kids to cross, I wanted to be here for you.”

I looked around me to see if anyone else had appeared. “Where is Mom and everyone else? Bill and Sandy had to have made it to heaven if I did. I understand the others not being here.” Young dad laughed. Of course he would, we all got our bad sense of humor from him. He motioned to a rock “have a seat. Everyone is here and not here.” He squinted his face to match what I just did at this confusing statement. “You’re dead and you can do whatever you want. The family isn’t here because you didn’t think of them. You thought of this place first. Is this the creek in the woods?” He paused. “Yes sir, older I got the more I dreamed about walking along it again. They were my best dreams.” I replied. He continued “and now you can walk from here to the Ohio, down through the Mississippi, and to New Orleans. Or go up stream and wind up near Walton. You control your reality. You can do what you want to do, go where you want and see who you want. Only if they want to though. I’m sure all your siblings would want to see you, your mother as well. When you’re ready.”

“I’m not ready?” My obvious surprise face was being mirrored by my dad. He waved his hands around “standing in a creek bottom. This is what you wanted.” “I don’t remember you being an asshole to your kids while you were alive” I replied with a tone. I assume it had a tone, because young dad balled up his fist and jokingly said “we’re both young now, and I will easily kick your butt.”

I laughed, then thought. I put my face in my hands. “You’re right. I want to be alone. I just spent weeks in a bed having my wife, my girls, and grandkids telling me they love me in a way that I knew meant I was dying. Nurses telling me how chipper I was if I managed to pee. Constant noises. I wanted to be alone.”

I raised my head. Young dad was gone. It was just the creek, birds, and trees. I knew there were roads just over the hill, but there was no traffic. He always read me like a book. Mom was smarter, but Dad just knew more. I picked up a branch the perfect height for a walking stick. Upstream today, I’ll cut across land to Big Bone, follow it to the Ohio.

The voice will come from next to you, from someplace close but unfamiliar. "It will crash upon you like a wave," it will say, and it will be warm and deep and quivering against the bit that holds it. "There may be pain at first, yes, and fatigue. But these, like all things, shall fade."

The voice will seem to be behind you, then, and you will feel pushed forward, upward, rushing faster than you've moved before. Light will surround you, too bright for you to ever have looked at, but matched perfectly to your new eyes.

"It will roar in you like the north wind," the voice will say, "and in it you will know satiety without eating and drunkenness without drinking. In it will be stillness and silence, furious joy, and the cries of gulls before the storm."

The voice will stay with you as you climb, guiding you aloft, until the whole of Earth will spread before you. Thunder and rain will join with you, then, to be your breath and bear you on. Alate with wings of cloud and starry stuff, you will look upon the surface and its people and see how wonderful, how small, and how real they are. And you will look upon yourself and see how much more wonderful, and small, and real you have become.

Beyond this height and brighter light, none have brought report.

Death may be cruelly hard, but the afterward contains joys beyond mortal kenning. Delight now in the goodness you have brought and the goodness brought unto you. Take heart, gather your courage, and prepare to revel wildly in the life to come.

[Thank you, deeply, for the chance to give this gift.]

You wake up sitting on a large, comfortable sofa. Looking around, you notice the room you are in is well decorated (at least to your taste) and the sofa is larger in the middle, with a crescent shaped space cut out of the back to lie down or pile pillows and such. That's an awesome idea, and you wonder why it's not a common thing. Next to you on the sofa sits god.

You ask it where you are. "you are in your own space. I went ahead and made the space I knew you would enjoy the most.

You take another look, appreciating it's work. There's an absolutely enormous tv, and while you can't see one, you assume there's an excellent sound system to go with it. The room is painted deep purple, and to your left is an open area with an Olympic length swimming pool, and diving boards for every meter up to 10. The deck overlooks a temperate rainforest, and fog shrouds your view. You take a walk through the house, admiring every detail. You can certainly confirm that you love this place. You turn to God, and ask why it's here.

"Being omnipotent means it's not too much of an inconvenience to spare a separate form to accompany all 108 billion dead humans. I'm here in case you want anything. Anything at all really. I'm basically like a genie except you have as many wishes as you want, and I'm fulfilling them out of the good will of my heart."

"Can I ask to be alive again?" You said

"Of course. But you killed yourself. Why would you want to live if you went to all the trouble of ending it?"

"Well maybe I could change things. I could be a hedonist, and completely avoid everything and everyone that brought me pain."

"But you could have done that before. While you were still living, you could have done all those things."

"I thought I couldn't. But now that I'm dead it seems like the obvious course of action. Death just feels to.. over. I'm not going to get anywhere with infinite wishes. None of this has any meaning. Life felt a lot more real. Besides, one day I'll end up back here naturally. It's not like I'm wasting an opportunity."

It smiled back at me, and I woke up on the sofa and looked around. The sofa didn't have a cool crescent shaped cutout, and the walls were boring and beige. There were dried tears on my face. But still, there was something different. There was no dread. I felt free, even though nothing had really changed. I remembered feeling that way just before I left. But I was wrong. I had been feeling free for the wrong reason.

I picked up my phone and texted my boss that he was an asshole and I quit. I'm going to change things up.

• Where... Where am I?

• Where do you want to be?

• I'm... Not sure...

• That's why it's so empty in here... Is there any place you like?

• There's... The park... It's calm...

• Oh, good choice. See the grass? The trees? The birds?

• Wait... Is this real?...

• What does "real" mean to you?

• Am I dreaming?

• In a way, you are. In a way, you are not.

• ...

• I think you know already what happened.

• So... I'm not alive anymore?

• In the way you're used to... No, you're not.

• I see...

• Surpised?

• No... Just... Getting used to it...

• Sure. Take your time. You'll have plenty of it now.

• Who... Who are you?

• Who do you want me to be?

• Are you... God?...

• Most humans call me that way.

• And where are you?

• On your right.

• AAAAAAH!

• An old, bearded man? Well, I guess that's the most common impression of me. Oh, and sorry for the sudden appearence. I had to wait for you to choose how I would look.

• Wait... So you don't look like that? How do you look like?

• I don't "look" like anything, in the way you're used to. Even if I were to appear in your Universe, light wouldn't interact with me. Few things would.

• So you look like... What I think of you?

• Everything does, now.

• So nothing's real...

• Or everything is. In a way, this is more real than the life you just left.

• So I imagine anything here and it just happens? It just appears on thin air?

• Not exactly "air". But sure.

• Seems like the perfect afterlife.

• It is, if you want it to be.

• It seems... A bit too perfect...

• Too perfect to be real?

• Yeah...

• Look. I don't make the rules. You do.

• You don't make the rules?

• Not here. Think of it like... A game... I programmed it, but you choose how to play it.

• So, what rules did you program into it?

• Basically none. Or at least none you need to worry right now.

• So what's the meaning? What does this achieve?

• Philosophical thoughts already? That's nice to hear. See, this is so you get used to the idea of being here. And you can have a nice time while doing so.

• A nice time? So there's no punishment for bad people?

• No. No punishment or reward for being here. This is a common place for everyone. Punishment and reward are mostly something to happen in life.

• I see... Weird to think it happens like that...

• You'll get used to it.

• So, can I see my deceased relatives?... I mean... Not a visual replica of them, but the real them?

• Oh, them? No. They're not here anymore.

• Oh, so they... Went somewhere else?

• They were reborn.

• Oh, so reincarnation?

• That's it. But you can still interact with them. Or, exactly what they would do and say.

• This feels... Less real...

• Life on Earth itself isn't much different than this. It's just that you have less power there.

• How would it be real? If I wanted my uncle to say what I wanted, would he?

• Yes he would. But if you wanted your uncle to be your uncle, he would be.

• Seems like too much power...

• You'll get used to it. Back to the game analogy, some players like to play with cheat codes. Some like to play the game as it is. Some play both ways, depending on the day. I just gave you some cheat codes to play as you want to.

• And then... I reincarnate?

• When you're ready.

• And that is...?

• You'll know when it happens. But to be fair, you could reincarnate right now. I just feel like you don't want to, right now.

• Yeah... I'm still... Absorbing it...

• Take your time. Some reincarnate in a couple of days, others take a few thousand years. Either way, on Earth time, it's basically instant.

• So reincarnation is instant?

• Not really. You reincarnate in a time and place where you are needed. After it is your turn, at least.

• So... I got time... Right?...

• A bunch of it. You can do what you want with it.

• Any ideas?

• Oh, you humans do incredible stuff in this space. But in the first moments, some deal with regrets they had while living... Get the answers to any questions they had, even though they would forget it before reincaranating... Or they just... Have a nice time... Is there any place you would like to travel to?

• Oh, a bunch of them... Just... Not right now... I'll stay in this park for a little longer...

• Take your time.

• Hey... Just another question... How do I know you're real? I mean... How do I know you're really here, talking to me? Instead of being something inside my own mind?

• That's a good question... By the rules of the game, I guess you don't.

• I see...

• Does this bother you?

• No, no... I mean... Kinda...

• You'll get used to it.

• Yeah...

• Anything else?

• Well... Just some time alone, for now... Can I have it?

• Sure. Take your time. I'll be back when, and if, you need me.

• Thanks... I'll enjoy the view, for now...

• A sunset? Nice choice.

• It felt... Fitting...

• It is. Sunset, sunrise... The whole cycle. Not to mention it's a very nice thing to see.

• It is...

• Ok, so I'll be going now. Good night, I guess?

• Good night... And thanks for everything.

We are made of smaller parts
And their parts smaller still
And once the bonds between them break
The grave begins to chill.
But in between these lesser motes
Our energy has passed
Connections forged in life's duration
Surely have amassed
Some grand emergent way of living on
Made up of sums unknown
Fear not that you will go beyond,
You never were alone.
And maybe peace will come to you
As endless dreams of flight
Through all time turning on its end
Admits to mortal sight.
Perhaps you'll join a dixie band
To walk across a star
And when the saints go marching in
I'll meet you at the bar.

Even as I fought for each breath, I could feel myself fading. I could now barely feel my hand being clutched by my sister. Machines beeped as her eyes filled with tears. I gathered all of my strength to say my last words.

“You’ll be ok.”

And with that, everything faded to black.

To my surprise, in what felt like only a few seconds, I opened my eyes to bright sunlight. Looking around, I found myself in a field on the edge of a forest. The grass was tall… no… I was small.

“Hello?” I called out.

The grass rustled beside me as a young man emerged. His skin was a strange green and he wore clothes weaved out of grass. He was about 3 feet tall, still much taller than me.

“Ah, a newcomer.” He said. “Welcome to the Otherworld.”

“Otherworld?” I questioned.

“Yes. When you die in the physical world, you come to the Otherworld. Then, when you die in the Otherworld, you return to the physical world.” He explained as though he had been asked a thousand times.

“I am Fatrius, spirit of this forest. And you seem to be a dryad of this little sapling here.” He said, gently brushing against the leaf of a tree sapling next to me that I had not noticed until then.

“Why am I so small?” I asked.

He smiled and looked down at the sapling. “Just like this little tree here, you begin your second life small. You will continue to grow with it until your time in the Otherworld is up.”

And he was right. As the years passed, I grew taller and taller until I could see over the tall grass. I still missed my sister and often wondered how she was doing.

That was when I saw it. A house, in the distance. Confused, I called for Fatrius.

“Why is there a house? I didn’t think there were humans in this world.” I asked.

Fatrius climbed to one of my branches and looked into the distance.

“I see only a field.” He said, confused.

I pointed to the house. “It’s right there! Someone just walked out of the door!”

Fatrius shook his head and turned to me. “I do not think what you are seeing is in the Otherworld. Tell me, what were you thinking about when you saw it?”

“I was thinking about my sister.” I said, remembering the time I had with her. The more I thought about her, the clearer the house seemed to become.

“Ah, that explains it.” Fatrius said turning away from the field. “Sometimes when you have a strong enough bond with someone in the physical world, you can view them by focusing on that connection.”

He instructed me on how to strengthen that connection. After some practice, I was able to clearly see her. Living in the house with her were a man and a child. My brother in law and my niece. Through this connection, I watched them grow up.

“No you can’t go, I won’t let you!” She sobbed, clutching his hand. He weakly smiled up at her, the creeping dreadful cold had now reached up to his stomach. He could feel his limbs growing distant and stiff, he’ll push it away from his heart as long as he can, “You’ll see me again, one day. But take your time, learn and cherish all you can. Bring me stories to keep our souls light and happy long after we’re forgotten. For we live on forever in the stars, our own little hopeful lights born the moment we die. We live on in the stars, never to fade from the sky. Look up. Stand strong. We’ll reunite once more.” Authors note:I’m not sure if your tired of hearing people say they’re sorry or not, but I want to thank you. Thank you for living, thank you for smiling, thank you for breathing, for seeing, for laughing. Thank you for crying, for mourning, for anger, for jealousy, for hatred and fear. What I’m trying to say is, thank you for being a part of so many peoples lives even for the briefest of moments you’ve changed the course of so many lives.

The hospital room went dark as I closed my eyes, my breath stilling. I expect nothingness, to find nothing waiting for me on the other side, to see only blackness. But there was more, so much more: there was colour.

"There he is," a musical voice calls, her face swimming into view.

I don't know her, but I keep thinking that maybe I do. She's tall, much taller than any human I've ever seen, covered in a black robe with black feathers around the edge of the hood. Her eyes are a bright yellow, glowing slightly in her pale face. She has a smattering of freckles across her nose, a tendril of her red hair hanging out under the hood.

I look around as my vision expands, taking on a more surreal vision. I'm lying on my back in the grass, looking up at a sky that can't decide what colour it wants to be. I can see streaks of pink, purple, blue, even green, like the sun is setting and rising at the same time.

I pull myself up, leaning back on my hands as I deal with the faint dizziness. The woman holds her long, thin hand out to me, and I stare at it, puzzled.

"Come on," she says encouragingly. "We have a bit of a walk."

I stare at her hand for a few more seconds, then accept her offer to help me up. Standing, the top of my head comes up to the woman's breasts, her robe tipping open in her movement to reveal the white dress underneath.

"Where am I?" I ask, staring around at the trees. Some of them are tall and straight, others are so gnarled and twisted I'm surprised they're not sending leaves out into the ground.

"To be honest, I'm not sure," the woman says, turning a little and gesturing me to follow her. I fall into step beside her, and she walks slowly so I can keep up. "Humans are usually pretty stable when it comes to predicting their Death Realm. The hell or heaven of their culture, nothingness, returning to the world... but you seem to have built your Death Realm out of forgotten dreams."

I walk beside her, glancing around. Now and then, I hear something familiar - squealing tyres, yelling adults, the happy screams of a child - but I can't see where these sounds come from.

"So... where are we going?" I ask, stepping a little closer. Her black robe, though it reminds me of the Grim Reaper, exudes a feeling of comfort.

"We're going for a walk," she says with a smile, looking down to me. "We're going to discover what will make your eternity tolerable, even happy."

I look down and away. A heavy feeling on my heart makes my mouth dry. I can't feel happy, I don't deserve it.

"Now, now," the woman said with a smile, placing her large hand on my shoulder, "take it from someone who's been doing this for almost three thousand years - no one deserves the flames of hell, even if they think they do. Everyone has a single redeeming streak, and that's what we focus on here."

I frown, looking back to her. "Even Hitler?"

She smiles. "Hitler was kind to his dogs. He got the Death Realm he deserved, though some might not agree." She stops to look at me, her other hand on my shoulder. "What is it about you that redeems all your flaws?" she asks, dragging two fingers down my face so I have to close my eyes.

"I don't know," I say after a while, turning away from her. I rub my arms with my hands, feeling the yawning maw of depression fighting to surface.

"Yes, you do, you just won't admit it to yourself. Won't admit you were a good person." The woman swoops around behind me and places a hand on my shoulder, the other over my forehead. "Focus."

I try to throw her off, but something is holding my body still. I sigh and close my eyes, frowning into her hand. Nothing but regrets pass my eyes.

The woman says something I can't quite hear, and the dark thoughts brighten, twisting. The baby rabbit I saved in high school, taking the blame for some stupid prank my friends played in primary school. The handful of change I gave that homeless guy once.

Little things, little acts of kindness that build up inside me, becoming a big thing. I could feel it, just as I can feel the tears dripping down my cheeks.

"There you go," she says, gently letting me go. "There's your Death Realm."

I open my eyes to find a door in front of me. It's plain brown, a cheap knocker and a frosted window. The door that graced my parents' house when I was growing up.

"Off you go," she whispers, giving me a gentle push.

"What's behind the door?" I ask, and hate the trembling in my voice.

"Forgiveness," she said, a rustling of feathers behind me catching my attention. Your Death Realm... is forgiveness.

I turn back, but the woman is gone. It's just me on the grass. Behind the door, I can hear laughing and talking. Can I do it? Can I open that door?

The choice is taken away from me as someone inside opens the door, a dog barrelling out into the grass. He grabs my pants and pulls me towards the door, where I can see my family sitting around a table.

I turn back again, unsure, and see a large black raven, it's eyes electric yellow, watching me from a tree nearby. I gulp, take a breath, and allow the dog to drag me inside.

Good luck, Keridwen says, her voice carrying on the wind as she opens her wings and sails across the grass, headed for the sunrise.

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