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f---thezodiac t1_j3wu9g5 wrote

"Thank you so much, I really needed the money and no one else would by this." The man said before walking away, storing his newly acquired cash in his pocket. A new day a new customer. That's how it works.

I started packing up my little stand from the sidewalk because it was almost closing time, but then I heard footsteps approaching due to my vibration detection.

"Hey Mr. Useless, how's your garbage du-, I mean shop doing?" The man jabbed. It was Jeremy again. He was the rich kid on the block, the one that everyone else hated because he was so arrogant.

"It's pretty good, I got 6 new powers today." I said, putting my best customer service face on.

"Oh? Anything that isn't like you? You know, utter trash?" He said, smirking.

"Well, I got super fast reflexes, teleportation within 10 feet, the ability to know the answer to 2 questions I ask a day, the ability to move my eyes around my body, the ability to glue things together, and I just got real life subtitles." I explained, straining a smile.

"Boo, lame. My invincibility and mind reading are so much better than anything you got."

There he goes again, bragging about his abilities. I bet I could beat him in a fight. Wait, let me try something. Answer me, can I beat Jeremy Garrison with my combined abilities? A voice boomed in my head "Yes, your collected abilities give you a 73.9٪ chance of victory." Without even thinking, I powered up.

"Wait, what are you-" I teleported behind him, grabbed his hand, and put him in a headlock. I telepathically said "don't even try it." I said, before leaving him there.

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chacham2 OP t1_j3wuvce wrote

>real life subtitles

I want those! :)

Thank you for the reply!

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Joshau-k t1_j3yhw04 wrote

But they are only in extinct languages

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apple_of_doom t1_j3z1to4 wrote

Linguists, historians and anthropologists would kill for that. Basically any lost language could get deciphered overnight.

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chacham2 OP t1_j3yzkmx wrote

If that's the price, i'll learn the extinct language. :)

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HaikuBotStalksMe t1_j3z6ujj wrote

That works. You just name objects and then verbs. And then try to figure out conjugation.

Granted, I wonder if the translations take into account idioms. Like "he'll be there in a moment" translates to like the equivalent of "he will be there in a tenth of a second"?

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chacham2 OP t1_j3zktir wrote

> I wonder if the translations take into account idioms.

That is a can of worms, debated for at least a thousand years. More recently, Allan Bloom's introduction to The Republic goes through the topic of translation and gives explains different approaches to promote his own.

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Liyen18 t1_j3x7tha wrote

Jeremy just got "Nothing personnel kid"-ed

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Davebobman t1_j3y3gqb wrote

r/boneappletea?

Also, more like "Something personal, kid"... since it was a personal vendetta and not a business relationship.

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thoughtsthoughtof t1_j3zauxn wrote

Questions one is so far from useless thpugh more is good Just 1 day How to suceed in and get away with the greatest robbery/heist

And/or How to successfully take over the tri state area and maintain role (happily) as long as wish

Is invincibility limited cause it means can't be defeated but then he was beaten/overcomed

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