Maybe give audiobooks a try, helps with not having to have the little inner voice read along, depending on what triggers your negative reactions and is it the content of the books or the actual act of reading you can try reading different genres too, read something funny and lighthearted for example or a good general knowledge nonfiction. Also at the end of the day it's just a hobby like many others, no need to force yourself if it's affecting you negatively, you can stop reading for now and return to it once you're feeling better about it and it's a more enjoyable experience for you.