It Ends With Us Recent Criticism

Submitted by hmacias25 t3_10oj08c in books

I’m sure 99% of people on here know about the book It Ends With Us. If you haven’t read it, then you at least know about it. I won’t really go into detail about it since I don’t want to ruin it for those who haven’t read it.

Anyways, lately I’ve been seeing tik toks where the book is being dissed. In quick summary the book is basically based on a domestic violence relationship and how tough it was for the main character to get out of it. Well people on tik tok reviewing have been judging and making fun of the character not getting out of the relationship after the first incident. I feel that people judging the character are being insensitive and basically giving people who have gone through that a slap on the face. Domestic violence is not something to joke or make fun of. The book might be cringe to some but I feel that it’s realistic.

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Raemle t1_j6f0sr1 wrote

There are so many things to criticize that book for, but when lily got out of the relationship is so not it

If you want to make fun of something just point to the name lily blossom bloom and her flowershop

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Neat-Cold-7235 t1_j6fkfyd wrote

Or that fact that a girl just wandered into her shop looking for a job w/o being paid and oh look who happened to be her brother

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Raemle t1_j6flufk wrote

Don’t forget her husband is also extremely rich. Just because

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PrairieGirlWpg t1_j6eyzk2 wrote

I was furious at the end of this book. I agree that domestic violence isn’t an issue to joke about and I also think it’s a terrible topic for a poorly written romance.

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honestlyicba t1_j6i0uqi wrote

And there was no consequence other than divorce. No charges pressed. No jail time.

And all the insinuation that Ryle needs to be forgiven. So angry.

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zumera t1_j6ibeit wrote

>And there was no consequence other than divorce. No charges pressed. No jail time.

It's an unfortunate reality for many women who experience domestic violence. Justice is difficult to achieve and very often not worth the emotional and mental toll.

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honestlyicba t1_j6ic65f wrote

This is really sad to hear.

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GrumpyBearBank t1_j6isy7h wrote

I work adjacent to the system.

At the majority of DV sentencings in my county, the victim shows up to speak (or has a left a statement with the DA’s Office) and is angry at the DA’s Office for prosecuting. And wanting forgiveness and leniency for the defendant. Or outright recanting.

It’s amazing and horrifying

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b00kw0rm_ t1_j6gojgn wrote

My issue isn’t with the depiction of DV on its own.

My issue is that the book is FREQUENTLY advertised as a romance. And neither relationship is particularly healthy. And for a younger audience in particular, who are gravitating to her books because she’s a popular author and, frankly, her writing style is easy to read, it’s uncomfortable to see THIS book advertised that way. Especially because, to my knowledge, nothing’s been done on her end to discourage it.

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pedestrianpinniped t1_j6gx1he wrote

Discourage it? She's writing this stuff with one hand on the keyboard if you know what I mean.

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GrumpyBearBank t1_j6itcvw wrote

There is no reason that a romance relationship needing to be healthy in a novel. If anything, there are narrative reasons for them not being healthy.

It’s not the author’s responsibility to showcase healthy relationships. And frankly they aren’t usually very interesting.

Romance books are basically a form of porn. It’s fantasy. A torrid romance, unrequited love, rebellion, a dashing hero, yadda yadda.

And just like porn, nobody watches it for healthy sex. They watch porn for the visually striking and the taboo. People read romance for the saucy affairs.

I haven’t read this book and I never will. But it failing to showcase healthy relationships is a critique beside the point.

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Own_Comment t1_j6ewpsu wrote

First reply: I don’t know what this book is.

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InvisibleSpaceVamp t1_j6f8na9 wrote

It's one of these Hoover books. I can never remember which one is which. This means I get half a point, right?

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Own_Comment t1_j6f9cd0 wrote

lol you get half a point more than me. Without looking it up, I don’t know what a Hoover book is either.

(Most recently read Remains of the Day, the creative act, some wheel of time, Fairy Tale, and started a Bertrand Russell book that’ll take me a month to read… It’s not like I don’t read but I feel like I have to defend myself at this point lol)

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[deleted] t1_j6hsa69 wrote

If I go to the circus, I don't complain if I see clowns. ;)

If I go to TIK TOK, (the place where 10 morons danced like idiots, while people were dying of COVID**)**, I don't expect to find a discussion with cultural content, maturity, intelligence.
It makes no sense to criticize the stupidity of that social network, as it is a stupid container.
So if I want interesting discussions I don't do them in the square of fools, but on the appropriate forums, or in real life etc..
In short, don't expect to find water in the desert. :)

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InvisibleSpaceVamp t1_j6f8aip wrote

I don't know the book but I have seen the whole vicious circle of domestic violence and emotional codependency happen to a person I thought was way too smart to get sucked into this.

I still don't think I fully understand how this works on a psychological level, but if I bet the people who are making these judgements have no idea at all.

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Machinedave t1_j6h2wec wrote

Thank you but I avoid her books like the plague

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AHealthyDoseofFran t1_j6hup8h wrote

Okay those are terrible takes on the book seeing as there is A LOT to critique it.

I mean, it’s a book on domestic violence that was going to get a colouring book and is portrayed as a romance more often than it’s not

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BitterStatus9 t1_j6fokep wrote

Most people have never heard of this book.

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pedestrianpinniped t1_j6gwvth wrote

I get where you're coming from but I would say expand your empathy a bit. Could just be dicks but I suspect many of the comments like this come from people who spent weeks/months/years simmering in frustration watching someone they cared about repeatedly refusing to leave an obviously abusive relationship. It is not only traumatic to the direct victim.

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sadworldmadworld t1_j6he0ch wrote

>It is not only traumatic to the direct victim.

...okay but no one is making character statements about the indirect "victims" the way people do about the incredibly frustrating people that "repeatedly [refuse] to leave an obviously abusive relationship"? Sure, maybe the world needs to be more empathetic towards the indirect victims, but the world DEFINITELY is still not enlightened enough to stop victim blaming. Case in point.

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nesbit666 t1_j6hkujs wrote

Let me correct you. It IS something to be made fun of. EVERYTHING is something to be made fun of.

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fairymoonie t1_j6exbx2 wrote

People just like criticizing everything. It’s a trend to be a hater

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pizzapizzamesohungry t1_j6ffj1m wrote

But don’t you sometimes want to hate on stuff that is getting popular if you feel like there are thousands of better books? I read part of one Hoover just bc soooo many people recommended it. I am not snobby about books, but anyone who recommended this to me kind won’t be taken seriously for a while.

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AtraMikaDelia t1_j6fimrb wrote

It is natural, but it isn't going to make anyone read the thing you are talking about. There's a few niche books I like to recommend but I rarely if ever preface them with 'these are so much better than XYZ popular book, which is garbage', even if I do think that.

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pizzapizzamesohungry t1_j6fkrxr wrote

Makes sense, I try to recommend sort of similar alternatives if I do, but I’m sometimes I have to find out more about what people like in certain books.

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