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IllinoisWoodsBoy t1_j69ioaf wrote

Men were more affectionate in a platonic way because there was pretty much no risk of somebody calling them gay. The idea that hugging, kissing, complimenting your friend "makes you gay" is a pretty new thing, and both sides of the spectrum do it. And so it's just a bad cycle that drives a wedge between male relationships. Blame television executives and their constant stream of gay jokes going back 50 years. Even in literature, people will read an old book about a strong male bond such as Achilles/Patroclus or Gilgamesh/Enkidu and start labelling them gay. BOTH sides do this. Homophobes and pro-LGBT people both love to project homosexuality on any male relationship that goes further than a handshake. And so, modern men stay isolated and keep a cold distance between each other.

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TheBSisReal t1_j6a2jn9 wrote

I feel like you’re mislabeling the culprit a bit: homophobia is why a lot of men don’t do affectionate bonds with each other. Whether or not someone reads a friendship with intimacy as gay is only problematic if you give in to internalized homophobia. Reading the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus as gay isn’t the source of that.

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MelaphantMorada t1_j6ai3fg wrote

I completely agree with this. I don’t think that the term homophobic really fits because there are plenty of people who don’t fear or hate gay people but are part of a religion where it’s viewed as sinful, therefore they don’t want to be associated as gay. Both straight and gay people do this where any form of affection beyond what is considered “standard” in today’s western modern world can be looked at or perceived as gay or someone being in the closet and too afraid to say anything. I’ve definitely heard this sentiment from people across the sexuality spectrum and it’s sad. If people just minded their business and weren’t so quick to judge simple affection, I don’t think it would be as stigmatized

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