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playboypink OP t1_j5wa13g wrote

I completely agree with your point that the main characters actions were confusing and hard to understand. But, I do think I can explain some of the instances you mentioned!

So from what I understood, Theo’s entire goal (both before and after the murder) was to “help Alicia understand” what had been happening in her relationship with Gabriel. There is a part towards the end, after the reveal, where he’s talking about how he didn’t expect Alicia to remember him. He said he changed his voice and that he had been wearing a ski mask when he broke in, so he thought presumably after six years, she wouldn’t be able to tell. I get this part. The part that’s tricky is, like you said, WHY did he go back?

I think he did this for two reasons. The first, he genuinely thought that he wanted to help people as a psychotherapist. I think this is evident when he talks about his prior career and his old therapist, who he seemed to respect very much. The second, is that I believe Theo may be a sort of narcissist. Or at the very least, has a severe savior complex. I think his motivation to help others, was purely to help himself. HE was the one who had never been able to cope with his childhood trauma, and as an adult, compensated for this by teaching others how to cope with theirs. I think he went to see Alicia specifically, not only “to help her”, but his own need to feel powerful. If he can get her to talk and understand the connection between Gabriel’s murder and her childhood, that means he’s done something nobody else was able to. And if she doesn’t recognize him, even better for him! He can be close to her and always have the upper-hand in the relationship. He mentions at the end that he never expected Alicia to kill Gabriel, but that it never would have happened had he not done that to her. Maybe he feels guilty as well, but I sort of doubt it.

As far as Alicia’s motives go, I think it’s a lot more straightforward than Theo’s. We know that Alicia recognized him by only their second session when she attacked him, and she says that she wished she could kill him. After Theo helps lift her sedation, I think Alicia wanted to see how far she could push him, or if he’d admit to what he’d done. She wanted to flip the script and have the upper-hand. If she had told the police about Theo any earlier, she’d then have to admit her own guilt in killing Gabriel, which I think may have been impossible for her. And who’s to say that they would have believed her, considering there wasn’t proof of him being there that night. The only solid proof she had was Theo trying to kill her in the end, and if she’s going to die anyway, might as well tell the truth.

As far as her somehow writing 10 journal pages and hiding it all while literally dying goes, I’ve got nothing. LOL that was just very silly to me but I tried not to dwell too much on it. There’s a lot you could point at that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but I can appreciate the story the author was trying to tell at the very least!

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llentiesambpernil t1_j5wsutf wrote

wow thank you so much for your comprehensive reply, your perspective really helped in understanding their motives, especially Alicia’s. you’re right she tried to test him and get the upper hand, as i believe she told Theo a different story of not fully remembering the person who broke into their house when in reality she did recognize him!

also i totally see your explanations; and maybe if Theo hadn’t come across to me as such a callous psychopath, it would’ve been plausible that he felt guilt/remorse in causing Gabriel’s death so that could explain his involvement in a more wholesome way lol. tysm!

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SaiharaRen_ t1_j67x1em wrote

Laura is a little kid in kindy. One day, Laura finds her mothers favourite necklace on the dressing table and decides she wants to take the necklace to school and impress all her friends. While playing on the field, Laura realises her necklace is missing. Laura is so scared of what would happen if her mother finds out she took the necklace, so when her mother questions her about it, she lies. Yet, Laura still helps her mother look for the necklace around the house. One day, her mother confronts her about it after a friend from Laura’s class returns the necklace. Laura might lie, Laura might try to deny it, but once the moment passes, Laura also feels relief from the burden lifted of her shoulders now that she longer needs to hide the truth.

I think, to a certain extent, that this describes Theo’s relationship with guilt. I agree that Theo acts like a narcissist, but the more I study his character the more he seems like a person who has a level of self awareness that he refuses to confront. He doesn’t register his guilt which leads to him expressing it in incredibly odd ways. I believe that one of the other reasons Theo began working at the grove was to deal with his suppressed guilt. Like how Kathy is said to have unconsciously left the laptop open for Theo to see, he unconsciously does a lot of stuff because he wants someone find out about what he’s done so he can let go of the guilt. That’s what the last chapter is all about. That snowflake scene at the end of the book represented him letting go of his guilt (and also finally moving on from his trauma) and being free. It’s a little bit odd, but I’ve come to learn that there really are people who act like that. They want others to confront stuff for them. The suppressed guilt lingers in the back of your mind and makes you listen more to instinct than reason.

Btw, (I’m adding this part for the sole goal of annoying you both even more) when the cops turned up at the crime scene they should’ve found an extra chair, some extra wire, oh and also some marks around Alicia’s wrists and ankles. And what did they decide to do with that information?? NOTHING. Hell, half of the characters in the novel knew how to get in the house without a key. If just one officer considered the possibility that she was bound and perhaps someone else was in the house literally everything could’ve been avoided. And don’t even get me started on what would happen if an officer got their hands on the diary. Since most of the characters are designed for the sole purpose of being a red herring this case would’ve been all over the place.

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