socialthrowaway87 t1_j9y42p1 wrote on February 25, 2023 at 12:13 PM

Go alone wherever you want. Part of that is a self limitation based on comfort. Almost any bar is just fine to go alone regardless of audience. Don’t let places intimidate you or make you feel weird going alone.

Electronic_Yam_9246 OP t1_j9y5qc5 wrote on February 25, 2023 at 12:32 PM

Mainly just added that part so I wouldn’t get recommended any clubs. Clubs are fun but I don’t wanna go alone

SkyrimIsForTheNerds t1_ja1elnm wrote on February 26, 2023 at 2:57 AM

That’s pretty tone-deaf to tell a woman.

socialthrowaway87 t1_ja1lwqj wrote on February 26, 2023 at 3:59 AM

I’m a woman who goes to bars alone saying it but I think it’s much worse to tell or imply women should be afraid and not participate in society to the degree a man or someone else would. In the grand context of things, Boston is incredibly safe and I standby my comment. It does people no good to make them think they shouldn’t or can’t go to spaces alone. What if they have no one to go with? Are they not supposed to participate in life? They pay taxes and presumably live, work, or go to school here. They are entitled to participate in society to the degree they would like. She is asking about going to bars alone, so she should if she wants to.

SkyrimIsForTheNerds t1_ja29w37 wrote on February 26, 2023 at 8:26 AM

I don’t think acknowledging the reality that we live in is implying that we should not participate. But it is disingenuous to say that we are letting fear limit us as though it is an unreasonable fear. Describing the very real, if small, fear of sexual assault or worse as “comfort” is tone-deaf.

socialthrowaway87 t1_ja3uhae wrote on February 26, 2023 at 5:23 PM

I would say you are projecting your fears onto her, at least as of the time I posted my comment and based on the reply to me. Even if it did, it doesn’t change my response because she is asking about going to bars alone. It is what it is. To go to bars alone, someone has to be willing to actually go to them alone. Let them write their story. We don’t need to do it for them. We also don’t need to assume they aren’t capable or are afraid of those things as a main factor. Boston is very safe and literally every activity in life has some statistical probability of something happening. The likelihood of those things happening are still very low on any given day. It’s up to them to set parameters for how they do activities and what their limits and concerns are.