>it would have been impossible not to pick up native English fluency being born and raised here and attending public school

Exactly! Yes, I think it was the fear you mentioned that kept Mama's generation from being taught Italian. I'm going a long way back: Mama was born in '46, which was really not that long after the Immigration Acts of '21 and '24 which were aimed at keeping people like my family out of the country. If no dogs or Italians were allowed, maybe don't teach the kids Italian.

I took Spanish in 8th grade in Wyoming in the 80's and didn't learn a damned thing. I can't help but wonder if it was too late, that second languages need to be learned either young or by pure immersion.

I did end up with a fairly strange accent. I speak fluent hick but it's peppered with Brooklynite idioms and accents.