iphigenia22 t1_iqwix4s wrote
Reply to comment by YogurtclosetOdd4238 in In light of the Try Guys' Cheating Scandal, I asked 50 friends whether they thought physical or emotional cheating was worse [oc] by hannigong4dmi
You're very welcome. I understand your reaction too, and hopefully you've never had nor will have to experience such a situation, because for many people - of any gender - it can be absolutely devastating to have ones trust betrayed and the thing about betrayal is that it is never done by our perceived enemies but by those we loved and had faith in.
Those who cheat aren't necessarily bad people, they're often just emotionally immature, and those who do it repeatedly are most likely caught in a subconscious cycle of wanting love or sometimes just validation but being unable to cope with relationships. People who stay desire multiple offenses are also doing so to try to meet some subconscious need.
IMO it's unfortunate that society promotes falling into relationships so easily and we fail young people by but teaching them the absolute necessity to learn to qualify the people we meet as friends, lovers, partners, business associates etc - so many people end up in messy situations because they simply didn't take the time to qualify and observe someone before granting them access to their life at these levels.
Although there is inherent risk in trusting another person, we humans are wired for connection and will always seek it. That risk can be greatly reduced by knowing ourselves better, being clear about our wants, needs, expectations & boundaries. That self awareness affords us a level of protection. People that give anyone and everyone access to themselves at an emotional and physical level, let alone sexual, often fail to have a full sense of their own worth. If one values something, they naturally protect it, that also applies to our own hearts, sadly many people don't learn that lesson until after theirs has been broken.
For anyone interested in learning more about those things and creating harmonious successful romantic relationships I would suggest The Gottman Institute as a good starting place, check out their IG for example.
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