At that point, it’s definitely not them, it’s you.

In a few words, is to get better, perform better, live better, happier.

Is it that needed? no cause people can live fine performing worse, living worse, and living less happy, etc.

In the end most of the times it makes sense cause it makes economic sense, spend x money+x time to perform better the rest of the years is cost effective.

Like running with deflated tires, sure you can run with deflated tires fine for years until the car goes bust but inflating them takes so little time and is cheap.

Or living your entire life without shoes, shoes are not needed but you perform better with them.

I'm seeing a lot of judgementalism going on in this thread from people who don't know you and don't know your circumstances.

Everyone has had some trauma in their life; a few lucky ones have had only minor incidents that barely count, and too many unlucky ones have had serious trauma. Most people fit in between.

Trauma affects your brain, physically — yes, genuinely, e.g. the amygdala might be enlarged. It also affects how you make decisions in life, and your internal thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

Unresolved trauma, or keeping unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour as a result of your upbringing, leads to unhappiness and, in bad cases, to dysfunctional behaviour that causes distress to both yourself and to others.

The purpose of therapy is to undo the damage (although you can't undo physical changes to your brain, your brain is "plastic" and you can overcome it) to allow you to lead a better life — happier, more fulfilled, and a part of society.

If you've seen 14 therapists and none of them has helped, either you are seeing the wrong type of therapists (there are different types who use different methods), or you have a deep internal fear of changing your thoughts and behaviour. Or maybe both.

I wish you the best of luck in finding someone suitable for you.

It honestly sounds like you don't want them to help. A big part of therapy is believing that therapy can work... If you have a negative feedback loop of believing that therapy never works, it's never going to work. A big part of this is actually understanding your reasoning for wanting to see a therapist.

It's not really going to be the therapist to "sort you out", it's still going to be you who does all the work. Specially the first visits will be extremely uncomfortable because you have to face things you don't want to face. Face the problems that you need to work on, and realize that it really is you who needs to do the work. It can be very frustrating at first. But the therapist is there to give you the tools and keep motivating you, you still have to be the one going back time after time.

There are no miracle solutions or magic pills, it's all just tools so you can help yourself.

Do you want to change things too? Or do you expect the therapist to "convince you"?

This is a very low cost solution. But check out the documentary Stutz on Netflix. It’s a documentary about Jonah Hill’s therapy and therapist and his theories. I think that will give you an example of how this works for some people and some tools that may work for you. If it doesn’t help, it was not much of your time so it’s a low cost experience.

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