Colonoscopy nurse here. Please, Just stick it on your cheek, that will be fine. We would love that actually.

If it does somehow survive your stomach acid and speed the the small intestines intact (it definitely won’t), You might get billed if we have to use different tools to extract it and it may slow down your procedure. We wouldn’t uncrumple it, we’d just stick it in a jar of formaldehyde. Which could put everyone else’s colonoscopies behind schedule.

So just peel and stick it to your booty cheek and don’t tell anyone before hand.