panpan_the_good_bear t1_it6yeek wrote on October 21, 2022 at 11:45 AM

Reply to comment by Maddcapp in Crossing guard disturbed by Halloween decoration at his post in Marblehead. by bluesmom913

I think that if you had found a hung family member or knew someone who had, you may feel differently so perhaps wait on your judgement that this outrage is manufactured, not the natural response to seeing something distressing.

Episodes of Stranger Things alone have triggered people and made the show impossible to watch for some so even if it was more clearly Max, it could still cause distress, though I think to a somewhat lesser extent of the intention was clearer.

As it stands however, it looks like a person hanging from a tree, a visceral image for people with loved ones who have died in similar ways, which is a large number since approximately 800,000 people die annually to suicide and most of them had someone, in some cases many people, who cared for them, a person who found their body, and usually multiple people involved in the removal and care of their body. That is a lot of trauma that needs to be considered when putting up Halloween decor. I get that creepy is fun, but not at the expense of my neighbors' mental health.

Maddcapp t1_it7dx7v wrote on October 21, 2022 at 1:56 PM

I’m trying to be understanding of your point. And if you include yourself in that category of people who have experienced a family member who’s committed suicide I honestly I am very sorry and sympathetic to that.

My response though would be, should we no longer be allowed to depict suicide in movies and TV shows, or books? Following that logic, maybe Halloween decorations should be banned in total because just walking through a shop equates to witnessing a massacre.

My point is that we can’t “trigger proof” the world. It’s not the world’s responsibility to not trigger anyone. If someone is so traumatized that seeing a Halloween decoration sends them into depression, then I think that’s an issue for them to overcome personally.

With respect, does that sound reasonable?

panpan_the_good_bear t1_it7rm6k wrote on October 21, 2022 at 3:30 PM

I think there is a clear distinction between a Halloween store, a fully decked out house with the music and the full decor, cobwebs, spiders, and other additional context is different than seeing a child-sized body hanging in a bunch of trees at a crosswalk used by children and no other contextual-building devices such as a Grandfather clock, Max's friends, Vecna, anything to say this is a character from that RIDICULOUSLY popular Netflix show, NOT a dead child. I think that is very reasonable.

That context may not be necessary for people who aren't immediately effected by what they see, for example the top comments mentioning how, upon closer inspection, they realized it was likely meant to be Max. It took time, time that people suffering loss or other traumas don't have, they'd see the body and instantly be brought back to their loved one with all of the feelings and pain at once. Building the context gives their mind time to say "Oh neat! Halloween decorations! Oh that must be from Stranger Things?... Not my jam, but I'm glad others are having fun." Rather than "Oh God! Is that child okay?!?" Which would be a sign of on-going awareness for dangers, parents, care-givers, doctors, teachers, crossing guards, etc. who are in charge of child safety, or be pushed back into old trauma.

If you saw a squished body on the pavement outside of a skyscraper with no context would that be a Halloween decoration or a tragedy? Context is KEY!

Maddcapp t1_it7x8b9 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 4:07 PM

You changed my mind. I agree with you there should be more context. If at first sight a passerby is shocked and worried if there is a kid who needs help, that's a problem. Thanks for the feedback I understand your point now. Thanks : )

panpan_the_good_bear t1_it7ynyx wrote on October 21, 2022 at 4:16 PM

I wasn't expecting that at all, but great! I'm glad. I think being reasonable is the first step and so I always try to go into these just explaining why I, or someone I know intimately, would find this unpleasant and work from there. I'm not trying to ruin Halloween, I promise, or take anything away, just explain why it's not great. We can always improve and make more elaborate displays 🙂

Tldr; My solution: MORE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS Lol.

Maddcapp t1_it8asu1 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 5:37 PM

Haha. Yeah this is what really got me:
If you saw a squished body on the pavement outside of a skyscraper with no context would that be a Halloween decoration or a tragedy? Context is KEY!

I always say context is key, so you gave me a dose of my own medicine. Many thanks! And happy Halloween!

_RadicaLarry_ t1_it78a2q wrote on October 21, 2022 at 1:13 PM

“Uh oh, who invited this guy!?”

panpan_the_good_bear t1_it7slj1 wrote on October 21, 2022 at 3:36 PM

Killjoy, I know. Sorry, I just love my loved ones, know that they hurt because of carelessness, and want to be the change I wanna see, right? If that means raining on careless Halloween decorations, I will. Sorry that's not very fun. I work with kids all day so I have a lot of practice saying, "Sorry, but that's not how we treat people. We can be kinder." I hope you're Halloween decor is clearly Halloween decor and that everyone in your neighborhood has fun being the correct level of frightened, not the heart-pain kind.