Submitted by TheMajesticMoose08 t3_zdakne in massachusetts
beaveristired t1_iz1995o wrote
Reply to comment by queenofhaunting in Gendered Single-Occupant Bathrooms in MA by TheMajesticMoose08
Right, I’m just wondering what would make someone uncomfortable with a single occupant non-gendered restroom. Nobody else would be in there. I’m not uncomfortable with man using a bathroom in a restaurant, or event space, or a porta-potty, and to me this is the same thing.
queenofhaunting t1_iz20z1e wrote
trauma/sexism/woman’s discomfort is often dismissed as “irrational”. i think womens comfort should be absolutely prioritized over a couple mens convenience. there’s literally zero harm in asking around first.
beaveristired t1_iz2geh9 wrote
Yes, as a woman I’m aware that our concerns are downplayed. As a gender non-conforming cis woman, I can say that my concerns of getting harassed in the bathroom are certainly valid, but having gendered single occupant bathrooms make me extremely uncomfortable and put me in awkward, sometimes dangerous, situations. Imagine the first day of work, being called out because “a man” is in the women’s room. Ever experience dehydration because you avoid drinking water because you’re afraid to use the bathroom that is assigned to your gender? This is what I deal with on a daily basis, and I don’t think my concerns should be dismissed as irrational either. There is literally zero harm in making single-occupant restrooms gender free.
queenofhaunting t1_iz2l9o8 wrote
you can simply explain you are not a man. guess what, i’m also gender non conforming. i’m in a field dominated by men. i would still rather it stay segregated because i trust fellow women more than i trust men.
beaveristired t1_iz2ou8l wrote
Maybe you shouldn’t have assumed I was a man?
And you haven’t explained why all this matters if it’s single occupancy? Probably because there is no good reason not to make it genderless.
Also, doesn’t my experience as a woman matter as much as you?
I think it’s interesting how you’re minimizing my experience as a woman why complaining about others doing the same thing. I’m dizzy just trying to follow your logic.
queenofhaunting t1_iz2qyjr wrote
because we’re not talking about you. we’re talking about the women that work with OP. all i said was “ask around first” and i still don’t see a single problem with that.
we also don’t live in a vacuum. there’s a reason hidden cameras/spy cams have their own dedicated porn sites. men also regularly: steal womens underwear, follow women into bathrooms, make a fuss when they see period products in the trash, steal womens period products, track womens menstrual cycles, and most importantly, already have their own designated bathroom.
beaveristired t1_iz2s4h5 wrote
Do you think hanging a sign that says “women’s room” prevents those things from happening?
You really haven’t given any good arguments for your position.
queenofhaunting t1_iz2zjj3 wrote
no, but neither does prison stop all criminals. but it stops a good amount.
i don’t have a “position”. again, he should simply ask around and see if anyone objects. what are you so worried about if he does? that someone will object? the worst that can happen is he isn’t violating anyones sense of peace.
beaveristired t1_iz3kt65 wrote
No, I can assure you it does nothing, but you aren’t able to admit when you don’t have an argument.
Take a look at my profile, see just how gender non-conforming I am, and tell me again I have no reason to think that non-gendered single sex restrooms don’t have a place in workplace.
You’re arguing that having a sign on the door somehow protects woman, while I, a woman, have been straight up harassed at my job due to my gender presentation. Nice.
queenofhaunting t1_iz544w7 wrote
it protects women by societal convention. a woman cannot legally say anything if the man is allowed to be in there, no matter what kind of threats he’s been making outside of it. if he comments on her being on her period or purposely tries to walk in on her. i don’t know how to tell you these things happen very often.
i actually don’t need to look at you because we’re not talking about you. and i don’t think my “argument” insufficient because you have yet to explain why it’s a bad idea to first ask around in case anyone objects.
beaveristired t1_iz60zh5 wrote
This isn’t a realistic argument. Sorry, but this is going in circles, and you’re really grasping at straws. Your fake scenario isn’t an issue with single occupant non-gendered bathroom. Meanwhile I’m talking about a REAL LIFE SITUATION that has happened to me , a woman, and has caused much harm. You’re frankly being very dismissive and disrespectful at this point. I suggest you learn how to listen and respect the experiences of other woman. Maybe learn how to take a L, too. I don’t waste time with ignorance and disrespect. Take care.
queenofhaunting t1_iz678gd wrote
you literally never answered my one, singular question.
beaveristired t1_iz67p3m wrote
You literally have no argument or point here to discuss.
You literally never admitted that maybe my real life situation deserves the same consideration as your unrealistic fake one.
Go haunt someone else, Queen.
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