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Unique-Public-8594 t1_j4sjib6 wrote

I feel so badly for these children. Unimaginable trauma for them. How do children survive this kind of thing?

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RollingOnShabbat t1_j4upqef wrote

Similar happened in my best friends family before our time. Kids were his cousins. All 3 are rock stars (not literally) and living their best lives two decades later. Kids are resilient as hell man.

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[deleted] t1_j4v0og5 wrote

Resilient? You're pretty clueless.

−42

TinyEmergencyCake t1_j4t0dkh wrote

I don't understand why their grandma can't take care of them

Why the downvotes? They have a grandma. Why do people think it's better they get tossed into the foster care system and likely separated rather than being placed with existing family

Stop brigading my comment you cowards and actually say something

−30

killereverdeen t1_j4t671k wrote

She’s sick. There is also the language barrier. They don’t speak Serbian, she doesn’t speak English. I wonder if her sister in Canada will take them in.

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TinyEmergencyCake t1_j4v6ylb wrote

Ok, I didn't know she was sick. speaking a different language a barrier to being placed with family? I'm not up to date on Ana's family tree so I'm not understanding why my comment has been brigaded

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iquitthebad t1_j4w1jvb wrote

Because your comment has nothing to do with the previous comment? No matter where the children are placed (with family or not), this situation is extremely traumatic, not because of where they are being placed but because their mother was killed and it might have been at the hands of the father.

Yes, speaking the same language as the family you are being placed with should be taken into consideration. Imagine going through something so traumatic and then all of a sudden you're placed in a home where no one speaks your language and you can't even communicate with anyone.

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Unique-Public-8594 t1_j4t0rlm wrote

I get what you mean.

When you get down to it, the family doesn’t owe the public an explanation though.

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CausticOptimist t1_j4t9d0o wrote

I don’t understand why you think that’s your affair

−3

TinyEmergencyCake t1_j4v6oyh wrote

Why the hostility

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CausticOptimist t1_j4vaxbg wrote

So you don’t want people to downvote you, you want them to tell you what the problem with your comment is, and when they do tell you, you call them hostile. You’re very curious about this total stranger’s motives for a person who’s completely incapable of self-examination. Or maybe that’s why.

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BiffNasty1234 t1_j4szr9u wrote

Kids are incredibly resilient. They’re also provided room to speak their truth, something many adults feel embarrassed to do or flat out can’t allow themselves to do

For a child to say “I’m not ok” it’s usually met with a positive, encouraging reaction.

−61

CausticOptimist t1_j4t9820 wrote

> Kids are incredibly resilient.

Where do all these fucked up adults come from then?

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BiffNasty1234 t1_j4t9m98 wrote

Many many many different walks of life. I’m not sure why you think bad eggs as adults are only that way because a parent was murdered….

8 billion people in this world, how many of them have never experienced a devastating event early in life?

−22

CausticOptimist t1_j4tas0a wrote

I don’t know what a “bad egg” is supposed to be, but children experience all kinds of trauma and that trauma impacts them throughout their lives in a myriad of ways.

Thinking children just bounce back from trauma and then become damaged later in life completely unrelated is ridiculous.

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BiffNasty1234 t1_j4tax78 wrote

You’re being obtuse. Of course you know what it means. All set with this conversation

−10

MonsieurReynard t1_j4t2ivg wrote

That's an oddly Panglossian take to be said about kids losing a parent at the hands of the other parent, or childhood trauma in general. "Speaking your truth" to a "positive reaction" won't bring back your murdered mother, or erase primal trauma.

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BiffNasty1234 t1_j4t8zur wrote

Tell me where I said it would…

Edit: cool. Just fucking downvote.

−19

Unique-Public-8594 t1_j4t03kn wrote

You don’t think this family history would be a difficult thing to carry through life?

You don’t think they will suffer from this loss?

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legumious t1_j4unhiw wrote

Life: Sucks

Someone: Hopeful platitude

Reddit: Yeah, that's something I can argue about. For the children.

−3

[deleted] t1_j4uolof wrote

[deleted]

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legumious t1_j4urfk9 wrote

In the face of tragedy, you can't let someone morally and ethically aligned with you go unreprimanded because you perceive them as demeaning. The comment did not imply the kids would turn out okay. It implied they would survive.

But you don't get a hit of that sweet moral outrage by agreeing with people.

1

Unique-Public-8594 t1_j4uxdhs wrote

Is it “moral outrage” though?

One can be struck by the profound and tragic long term impact of what has happened and,

it might just be empathy.

Not moral outrage, not instigating a debate, not virtue signaling and not looking for karma, just sincere sorrow.

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legumious t1_j4v0ur8 wrote

Your question was "you don’t think they will suffer from this loss?" in response to someone reflecting on how some kids survive suffering. Your empathy feels toxic, and your question feels in bad faith.

−1

Linux-Is-Best t1_j4wxl0j wrote

Hi

A friendly reminder, that it is OK to disagree. It's OK to have a difference of opinion.

Let's not make this into something personal... It's also OK to walk away.

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Robw1970 t1_j4ykudy wrote

Honestly, you have a very valid point but it is almost impossible to reason with emotion. If one doesn't stay on the road of the majority you will surely be notified.

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BlaineTog t1_j4th6wy wrote

Kids can survive a lot, but they carry the scars with them all their lives.

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[deleted] t1_j4v0hbg wrote

Absolutely came to say this!

Kids who look like they're doing great, chances are, it's an act or they are overcompensating and avoiding dealing with stuff.

My sister's an overachiever for the wrong reasons. She's miserable.

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SheeEttin t1_j4uo4r7 wrote

>For a child to say “I’m not ok” it’s usually met with a positive, encouraging reaction.

Damn I wish the rest of us lived in your world, because I know very few people like that.

2