Rental for person in recovery & just out of jail?

Submitted by bedpotato2019 t3_119496i in newhaven

I have a friend who ended up in jail after developing a drug addiction & stealing to support it. She has been in for almost a year and will be released in early April.

I wanted to get her into a sober house, but she would prefer a studio/1br utilities included or even just a room in the $750-$1100 range. I’m planning to cover deposit & rent for the first few months to give her a chance to get reestablished. The place needs to be a decent environment (eg: not a drug house or next door to a drug house).

It also needs to be near public transportation so she can get to her treatment/recovery programs & work.

Do places like this exist? Has anyone dealt with this sort of “re-entry” situation? I know that ultimately her success or failure is up to her, but I’d like to give her the best chance to succeed. Suggestions welcome!

(Before anyone asks, we met when she was my upstairs neighbor - she was evicted after addiction related issues. My landlord won’t allow her on the property, so she can’t stay with me.)

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rossiterpj t1_j9kr8i4 wrote

She needs to go to a sober house. If she wants to have her own space that badly, she wants to use. There are plenty of opportunities for addicts to get help. They have to want it.

My advice to you is to lovingly disengage. Don't give her any money. Don't research for her. Don't do anything that relieves her of her own personal responsibility. Involving yourself is only going to lead you to pain.

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paddyboombotz t1_j9lv3qw wrote

I dunno I think it varies person to person. My friend got out the joint and I got him a restaurant job and he’s been on the straight and skinny ever since. Going back to school, got a girlfriend, etc etc. For some people, you might be the only support system they have. I know for my friend, I was.

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paddyboombotz t1_j9kcefx wrote

Yeeesh for that price range I’d just get her out of new haven. My friend was in the same situation minus the stealing and I found him a place in derby for cheap.

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Objective-Lemon2565 t1_j9kf5lv wrote

Is it hard to find something for about 1,000/mo in new haven?

(BTW, props to you and OP, you sound like good friends and good people.)

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paddyboombotz t1_j9klbsn wrote

I mean you could, but it’d prolly be in a shittier neighborhood where a former addict would face temptations. I remember when my friend got out of prison, I would drive him to his methadone dose appointments and there would be guys waiting on the curb right outside the place trying to sell him dope.

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Icy-Following-3713 t1_j9l5ghc wrote

she should go to a sober house first. she needs time to adjust, which is something they dont prepare us for when we are released. are they making her go to a halfway house first or no?

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bedpotato2019 OP t1_j9lpa7u wrote

No, because she isn’t being released early. She called it EOSing? Apparently because she is no longer the responsibility of the Department of Corrections - they don’t put her in a half-way house (or help with housing in anyway).

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Icy-Following-3713 t1_j9ltbnd wrote

oh ok.. thats fucking terrible. honestly i think she should go to a sober living house first. i know they have them in new haven, bridgeport, stamford

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eclaireg t1_j9mnijm wrote

As others have said, she needs to go into a sober house. If you pay for her to get her own place, especially in a drug ridden city like New Haven, that is putting her on the express train to relapse. Of course she would prefer a studio or 1br versus going into a sober house, but it’s not on her dime, it’s on yours. I know you don’t want to set her up for failure.

Your best bet is to call somewhere like the APT Foundation and ask them if they have lists of sober houses in the area. Not to mention, rooms in sober houses are more likely to be within her (your) budget range. A quick Google search found this: https://www.womensoberhousing.com/city/ct-new_haven.html

Best of luck to you and your friend. I hope she is very grateful for your kindness.

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RecommendationDue68 t1_j9me0vi wrote

There is this program run by the city of New Haven for helping people pay for security deposits, it sounds like she may qualify?

https://www.newhavenct.gov/government/departments-divisions/livable-city-initiative/tenant

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RecommendationDue68 t1_j9mf4vf wrote

Also, in my experience of looking for apartments, I would say the majority of the ones that I find in that price range that includes utilities, I typically found on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. You just have to have a discerning eye for scams.

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RecommendationDue68 t1_j9mgdgu wrote

Final thought, I work with a lot of folks living in halfway houses and folks who use methadone programs and such; people have shared that one of the biggest triggers for them is being in the same surroundings they were in when shit was bad for them. So if they were in New Haven when shit got bad for them, they will have to make the conscious decision 1000 times a day to not slip back into old habits. If moving to a new area where there is decent public transportation is an option, it could be worth considering.

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bedpotato2019 OP t1_j9p359e wrote

That program might help after she has been stable for awhile, but one of the requirements is having the ability to maintain permanent housing - which means a steady job. Another good purpose for spending time in a sober house - to get stable.

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Loyaljr t1_j9ozn0b wrote

If you just get her a apartment like she wants you might as well plan on her going right back to her old ways and having to start all over again. Let her goto a sober house and work at getting into a apartment so she appreciates it and doesn’t fall as soon as she gets out

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