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PlayedUOonBaja t1_j8n88f4 wrote

I work at a financial institution and have come across a number of these victims over the years. I don't think I've ever had one that believed me when I told her she is clearly being scammed. Some will feign concern, but you can absolutely hear it in their voice that they're not going to stop sending money. No matter how much you try to convince them it's a scam, they refuse to believe it. I've even had some call with their family on the line with them begging me to convince their parent that the whole thing was a scam, but still no luck in the end.

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silvusx t1_j8nex6c wrote

If they admit you were right, then they've also admit they are dumb to the public. also prob sunken cost fallacy, they feel they are too deep in it and is praying they are going to be right.

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Chippopotanuse t1_j8nn51f wrote

Being able to admit I’m often wrong and frequently dumb is probably my biggest life skill.

And I am happy as hell in life. Also very happily married.

I always feel sad for folks who are so insecure that they can’t admit fault or wrong.

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WaterHaven t1_j8nxx5x wrote

And those who can't just admit that they don't know enough to have an opinion on something.

I've sat through so many meetings where somebody stumbled through not knowing an answer instead of just saying, "I'll get that information for you after this meeting (or whenever), because I don't know that off the top of my head."

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imnota4 t1_j8oh0yd wrote

This. I think sometimes we as humans have a tendency to feel bad for *anyone* who gets the short end of the stick, not really caring how they ended up there. This can sometimes lead to us doing the *wrong* thing when trying to do the right thing, like grouping together against someone who was actually defending themselves.

In this case, I think people want to see someone who got scammed as a helpless victim that needs help, when in reality almost every person I've met who has been successfully scammed by methods like this was usually someone who thought too highly of their own knowledge and opinions and *refused* to change them, which is why they ended up for lack of a better word and I do apologize for the candid vocab, dumb.

It's one thing to be confident in what you believe and stand by it. It's another thing to go against actual evidence, or actively make things up, in order to justify why you believe something.

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DarkBrandonsLazrEyes t1_j8qu1an wrote

I repair pcs and deal with people in these situations often enough and you are right. Many don't listen, and they think they are too smart to be scammed. Not true for all of them but some of the racist ones get scammed by the people they are racist against and I believe it is because they don't think they can be fooled by the people they hate, so they follow their directions in the scam....

You can get out of so much trouble just by knowing you are capable of being fooled. By knowing things that sound too good to be true, probably are. And above all else, do not fall in love with people you havent met. Everybody should know that, but unfortunately that's a tougher for some.

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FightmeLuigibestgirl t1_j8o6mtk wrote

I admit I'm wrong all of the time, especially on SNS, and people act like it's a crime lol.

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another_bug t1_j8niqzi wrote

>"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back."

>-Carl Sagan

Pretty sure he was talking more about superstition and pseudoscience, but the concept applies to a lot more than that. It it sure is accurate.

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SnakeDoctur t1_j8omgb3 wrote

Like the entirety of the modern Republican party?

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another_bug t1_j8oo4oz wrote

Hey, that's nothing like scam, it's called trickle down economics. We just need to give the rich a little more money, and then they'll give money back to us. It's totally gonna happen this time for sure!

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kottabaz t1_j8p1kvx wrote

No, the GOP is an exercise in authoritarianism rather than a bamboozle.

Rank-and-file Republicans know that, in exchange for being tread upon by the owner class etc., they will be receiving underclasses that they're allowed to tread on with impunity. They consider this not only fair but the rightful way of the universe.

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Chippopotanuse t1_j8nmnxn wrote

Almost 20 years ago, I was on a trial team that represented an iconic global retail brand (multi-billions in annual sales, you probably own their stuff, you’ve DEFINITELY heard of them, and it’s been around for over a century).

The CEO, who was of Swiss-French descent, fell TWICE for Nigerian Prince scams. He was very old and not very wise about the modern world.

It was both highly embarrassing (it cost him a very significant part of his net worth and was off limits by mutual agreement during depositions) and also super sad. He legit fell the second time after folks were begging him not to send the money.

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drkgodess t1_j8nig5x wrote

The only way to change someone's mind is to make them think it was their idea. Along with the warnings you're required to give, try to plant a seed of doubt. For example, an offhand "this gentlemen seems quite popular" with no further details. She would wrack her mind wondering what you meant by that.

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Chippopotanuse t1_j8nnj0b wrote

> “The only way to change someone's mind is to make them think it was their idea.”

Oh, then I am fucked. Because I already try that most nights:

“Babe, remember how you were thinking about jerking me off tonight?”

“No. Did you remember to set the alarm?”

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drkgodess t1_j8nokub wrote

Well, context and execution matter. Haha.

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mhornberger t1_j8o56iy wrote

People can't give up the flattering self-illusion that they can just tell when someone is lying. That they can read someone's character. Admitting that you can't really read people makes the world a scarier place.

I mean, Ann Rule was a former police officer and later a crime writer. She worked with Ted Bundy on a suicide hotline, and had no idea. You really can't read people. It's just in the movies where the bad person just looks and sounds shifty.

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canxopener t1_j8noh5c wrote

I also worked at one for a few years too and it isn't even just old people. Young people tend to think they are too smart to fall for scams so when they are being scammed they tend to be confident that I was wrong and the situation was legitimate.

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forgot_to_growup t1_j8nmcxk wrote

Even when they finally admit they have been scammed some will say it was worth it to have had the “relationship.” People love a fantasy.

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