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V12Jaguar t1_ix3p5d9 wrote

I just happen to offer a "bonded" incinerator service! DM me!

117

jaybazzizzle t1_ix3qkz7 wrote

Incinerators shouldn't be taking the coke if they can't handle it. Send it to me and I'll sort it out over a weekend

356

IvanStarokapustin t1_ix3sej5 wrote

I guess that’s a good excuse for the cops to take a taste.

17

DanteSeldon t1_ix3skmg wrote

Anyone got Charlie Sheen's number?

390

DJCPhyr t1_ix3ws5f wrote

Ship it to Miami, it will be disposed of very quickly.

4

Tedstor t1_ix46ax1 wrote

Can’t they just flush it down the toilet?

19

TigBiddiesMacDaddy t1_ix4jii6 wrote

I know who to call: Greendale’s founder, Russell Borchert

10

darkchristt t1_ix4uohe wrote

Trying to avoid that deviated chimney

437

jesusmansuperpowers t1_ix4v4pf wrote

Just write “return to sender” and drop it off at the post office. I’m sure that works. But not fedex, they don’t return anything until you pay

0

SweRakii t1_ix4wjr6 wrote

I'll do it. I have one at home, but I wanna be alone while doing it

9

eatsrottenflesh t1_ix4z398 wrote

Are they sure it's all coke? I would be more than happy to smell it and make sure.

15

Chard069 t1_ix4zufb wrote

Back in the day, we blamed Western heroin shortages on Keith Richards, not confiscations. Why isn't someone wealthy snorting all that coke? (Don't mention Musk.)

29

TylerBourbon t1_ix513lt wrote

There's only one solution and everyone nose what it is....

34

Such-Wrongdoer-2198 t1_ix51u8y wrote

If only there was some cost effective means of disposing of a mountain of cocaine. Surely someone has an idea.

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SmilesOnSouls t1_ix58d7h wrote

Sounds like it's time for the most epic snowball fight ever!

1

kawkz440 t1_ix5a9k4 wrote

Welp, duty calls...

3

Falfinator t1_ix5b728 wrote

These will end up in a cement plant kiln. The destroyer of all police evidence. True story.

2

judasmachine t1_ix5bw5e wrote

I volunteer as tribute. Wait, does it come with hookers?

1

Espeeste t1_ix5eqty wrote

I have some friends in the Financial district who can help you out.

2

BWander t1_ix5f69d wrote

The, uh... half a mountain seized.

5

farlos75 t1_ix5f9qz wrote

I'll be right there

phones the old rave crew

"Lads, dig out your glowsticks ans stock up on gum. This is the big one."

5

TzedekTirdof t1_ix5favj wrote

Give it to spiders so they fuck up their webs

6

jamesbeil t1_ix5fjdu wrote

It's time to call Michael Gove.

1

n3lswn t1_ix5g7vn wrote

Imagine burning this much coke. Shameless

1

BeardedMan32 t1_ix5hxny wrote

Sounds like a solution to the energy crisis but drug enforcement agencies don’t really do much outside the box thinking.

1

sebastouch t1_ix5i4ly wrote

This is silly, the government could sell it and make tons of money!

1

55_peters t1_ix5jd0q wrote

Mix it with diesel and blend it with crude though a refinery

1

GuitarGeezer t1_ix5k44i wrote

Ja, we have broken one of our incinerators, namely CharlieSheen01.

1

MyHatIsGray t1_ix5kkyn wrote

I wonder how much this is worth

1

Knerk t1_ix5klgs wrote

Where is Dr. Rockso when you need him?

2

itsfeckingfreezing t1_ix5m9nv wrote

Antwerp are in luck, I just happen to have an incinerator. Also as a good citizen not wanting this filth on our streets I’ll even get rid of it for free.

1

vhtg t1_ix5o333 wrote

Oh for Glock's sake. Just give it to Elon Musk. He destroys everything he touches. Problem solved.

13

JaceThePowerBottom t1_ix5o6oe wrote

I know a friend who can dispose of it. Just give it to me and it'll be handled.

I'm my friend is about to trade so many stocks.

1

MEsyas t1_ix5pcck wrote

I have the solution: let Belgium sell the seized cocaine to alleviate the national debt /s

No but seriously, it's becoming a big issue. There have been drug gang-related incidents in Antwerp for a while now.

23

Jek_PORKINS_ t1_ix5poyb wrote

I sure do hate cocaine but it does smell great

4

DanYHKim t1_ix5qbtx wrote

>"Burning cocaine releases substances that are very harmful to the filters of the incinerator. At most, we can process 1,000 to 1,500 kg per session."

I guess they can't just use it for fuel to generate electricity

11

Imn0tg0d t1_ix5qmw5 wrote

Why is it illegal anyway? Just legalize and regulate it, get rid of the black market and crime will plummet too. The war on drugs is so stupid.

1

HerrSirCupcake t1_ix5ritd wrote

legalizing cocaine in europe would starve south american gangs of income and could potentially stop the violence.

5

CannotFuckingBelieve t1_ix62kky wrote

Is it possible for them to sell any of it to Coca-Cola? Probably sounds like a dumb question, but I'm pretty sure they still incorporate cocaine in their product, or at least isolate the stuff that doesn't get you all gacked up.

1

KittenKoder t1_ix62qse wrote

Replying to cdezdr (#595,282)

So is tobacco. The problem is that a "war" on something is a justification for excessive spending on opposing said thing.

Medical treatment and decriminalization has shown to be more effective than anything else for reducing the harm done by any substance, even tobacco, even cocaine.

2

Juggs_gotcha t1_ix63mai wrote

*puts thumbs in belt*

I might be able to help you with that.

1

N0VOCAIN t1_ix64y25 wrote

It’s because they haven’t secured the Mexican border

1

kenxzero t1_ix6ae5d wrote

Send a few brinks my way. I'll snort it out, I er mean sort it out. We could draw straws.

2

Imn0tg0d t1_ix6ay8q wrote

Replying to cdezdr (#595,282)

Tobacco companies literally add nicotine because it is addictive. Alcoholism destroys plenty of lives. Why do those substances, which are just as destructive, get a pass? Drugs aren't some addictive boogeyman that you were taught as a kid. There are plenty of people around you who do cocaine and you dont even know it. Key bumps happen in every bar bathroom across the country. Your server at a restaurant is probably on coke and you never noticed. If you've ever used a lawyer I can guarantee your lawyer is on coke. Your kids school teacher probably does coke on the occasional weekend. Your nurse or doctor definitely does it.

Drugs are everywhere, and if you know what signs to look for you will find it everywhere. You can see it if someone is really bad off on it, like Donald Trump Jr or Charlie sheen, but the vast majority of people who do it have no problem with it and can do it socially.

If you have an addiction, it isn't the substance that's causing it, its you trying to use that substance to cope with something else in your life. Sure, there are chemical dependencies that develop late in the addiction cycle for any substance, but the addiction started long before those chemical dependencies develop.

5

Chasethemac t1_ix6bpbi wrote

I'll take a Lil bit if it eases their burden.

I think together we can all help

1

Friendo93 t1_ix6c9tr wrote

Nice try, I’ll never believe this shit is incinerated.

1

cbright90 t1_ix6d3nw wrote

I volunteer as tribute!

1

Rayfoo t1_ix6huy5 wrote

An industrial crack machine. What a time to be alive.

1

NoKiaYesHyundai t1_ix6k4i5 wrote

Well we always can just send Lil Wayne to do it all

1

nailz1992 t1_ix6kn6s wrote

As Ali G once said, "why not give this to charity?"

1

xiphoidthorax t1_ix6ksjx wrote

I’m still offering to “ dispose “ it for them.

1

HeartZombie2 t1_ix6lqft wrote

So did they get a new Papst everyday

1

jazir5 t1_ix6okvy wrote

Now here's an idea, just hear me out now, maybe we just end the war on drugs so we don't have to burn the cocaine?

2

Aeseld t1_ix6tfci wrote

Send me a brick or two, I'll help!

1

PsychoKali t1_ix6vtov wrote

Replying to MEsyas (#595,147)

This is why you legalize recreational drugs. You cut out the criminal element, educate the population on safe use, put in quality regulations, while getting a shitton of money in taxes. There wont be a gang war if gangs no longer have a business avenue due to legalization.

8

Slick-Pickin-Chicken t1_ix6xorb wrote

Oh no, guess we can’t incinerate it. Guess well just have to do and sell it.

1

Inevitable_Dust_4345 t1_ix6y4sa wrote

Kinda seems like they’re putting this out there so the can get ripped off

1

Ricksterdinium t1_ix71n95 wrote

Can you do something with cocaine? Like make lidocaine cream or something.

1

ty_webslinger t1_ix77nhj wrote

I can help! I'm also a cocaine incinerator.

2

twister55555 t1_ix78xdh wrote

Sounds like it's time coca cola brought back the OG recipe

1

cynicaldoubtfultired t1_ix7999d wrote

Fly in the people working in finance from London and New York. Bet they'd make a sizeable dent in it in one weekend, add those in the oil industry in Aberdeen and problem gone.

1

Hany2k t1_ix7gvty wrote

do a giveaway

1

Hopperkin t1_ix7hilw wrote

Well, the republicans would just put it in the drinking water, what's wrong with that?

1

Precluse t1_ix7moyg wrote

Let's not make a mountain out of a cokehill

1

Fortifical t1_ix7qjog wrote

I'd just fly it back to Colombia and say "You dropped this". Let them deal with the cleanup.

1

jmdyason t1_ix7r9xh wrote

I volunteer as tribute!

1

Glamdryne t1_ix85jql wrote

I hear that Brussels is very nice the right now time of year.

1

joan_wilder t1_ix8fj71 wrote

It worked, you crazy bastards! It worked!!

1