Submitted by lulzPIE t3_10akia1 in nottheonion
Comments
classless_classic t1_j44ts74 wrote
He killed it with a CGI explosion.
Lucidification t1_j44u329 wrote
Priests have done worse in Italy
KaisarDragon t1_j44vr98 wrote
Everyone already got the explosion jokes, guys, move along!
AGripInVan t1_j44xs3w wrote
Yes, move along.
Before this shit blows up.
jimb2 t1_j44z4rg wrote
Self-defence.
No-Owl9201 t1_j4515v7 wrote
I can't wait for the film to come out 'The Pigeon Killer'
Freethecrafts t1_j451v03 wrote
There’s no way this sticks. Everyone knows Michael Bay can’t hit a mark.
Jahlons t1_j45brj1 wrote
Did the pigeon explode?
Janaedd t1_j45c2yd wrote
ARREST HIM THIS CANNOT STAND
SaintBrutus t1_j45dtry wrote
He should be charged with killing my childhood.
hour_of_the_rat t1_j45lcci wrote
Absent a 4-second clip with 11 cuts from seven different cameras of this pigeon allegedly being killed, I am going to have to say "Not Guilty".
Sniffy4 t1_j45q5eo wrote
This headline should generate at least a week's worth of late-night monologue jokes.
Sniffy4 t1_j45q7pu wrote
He killed it with an asteroid.
MadeFromNews t1_j45qbuq wrote
This is kind of ridiculously as many of these cities are overtaken by pigeons. Some official just wanted to meet the guy.
Gurablashta t1_j45rdii wrote
Good, there are far too many pidgeons
hatguyfromXKCD t1_j45tfkl wrote
Avian Assassin, you say?
wouldofiswrooong t1_j462byh wrote
A Hawk killed a pigeon in our garden last week.
It was a completely white one too. Absolutely insane massacre all over the place.
dahComrad t1_j463yon wrote
Because a dolly accidently killed it. For real? Sounds petty to me, I seriously doubt anyone intended on killing an innocent animal.
browtfareyoudoing t1_j466j3c wrote
Wow, this blew up!
blacknyourma t1_j469o2q wrote
Starring mark Wahlberg
Jump_Like_A_Willys t1_j46h1h4 wrote
- Randy Johnson enters the chat
Warning: Real exploding bird
fuckedbymath t1_j46h93z wrote
We had a pact!
Gernahaun t1_j46m8yl wrote
But it's not against any religion to want to dispose of a pigeon!
TAG_8-5 t1_j46oktj wrote
I always wanted to kick a pigeon
donkeylipsh t1_j46y5y4 wrote
Of course there was a second crow pigeon, and a third and a fourth if you must know
Phyliinx t1_j471p2x wrote
Did the bird explode?
ash_274 t1_j478u4d wrote
The pigeon was not blown up; therefore it couldn’t have been Michael Bay
LilG1984 t1_j47ly1o wrote
Was it really a pigeon or a cleverly disguised Decepticon?
ur_friendly_friend t1_j47qw7i wrote
Yup nobody in the history of ever has ever killed an innocent animal for any reason.
happykittynipples t1_j485l1k wrote
Denies everything, yet seen eating fried chicken on multiple occasions.
trash-juice t1_j48jzor wrote
All the movies he’s murdered, yeah he did it
happykittynipples t1_j496hce wrote
what movies is the hawk known for?
happykittynipples t1_j496jmr wrote
dies in more of a milky fizzle
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_j497rq8 wrote
Who likes pigeons?
Antrikshy t1_j4a61wl wrote
They clearly meant anyone on set.
wouldofiswrooong t1_j4a8j75 wrote
Judging by the scene left behind, I would wager it's either the Friday the 13th Franchise or some real artsy expressionist type shit.
pooplicker69_420 t1_j4f34ru wrote
Very very original
Screamingcalvin t1_j44taly wrote
Did he feed it alka seltzer?