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sittinginaboat t1_j5kqow6 wrote

They aren't a protected species. There is a solution.

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Dirk_The_Cowardly t1_j5mllkl wrote

Yep, beat a wild turkey with wild turkey.

Take a shot of wild turkey and then shoot at wild turkey.

Repeat until something is shot.

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ApocalypseSpokesman t1_j5mzpa1 wrote

I feel like you could just run up and kick it to death.

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hour_of_the_rat t1_j5nmmiw wrote

You'd be wrong.

source: was turkey farmer & have interacted with plenty of wild turkeys.

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ApocalypseSpokesman t1_j5ouvjn wrote

Are they badasses? violent?

Or do they run away?

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hour_of_the_rat t1_j5pdvet wrote

Wild turkeys are capable of either fight or flight.

They roost in trees, and are capable of upward flights of ~20'. The muscles required for such movement are formidable.

At first glance, you'd think fighting a turkey would be easy. However, since they are so much shorter than people, humans are actually at a disadvantage.

The average person thinks they can fight, but anyone who has been online long enough has seen plenty of videos where even guys who lift end up swinging punches at thin air. The survival rate of turkeys to adulthood is around 8 - 10%. Any adult turkey you see lived that long by ducking, dodging, and being faster than those who didn't make the cut.

Back to the height disparity: turkeys are operating at a different level--probably no higher than your waist. Your torso--crotch--is directly at attack height for them. Whereas anyone unfortunate enough to try to fight a turkey, has to look down, putting them immediately out of their comfort zone.

Instinctively, people think they're going to punch a turkey, but figure out right away that isn't going to work--your arms aren't going to reach, so they go for the soccer ball kick, but their legs make it so their bodies are actually knee-high, not ankle high.

Now, if the average person can't punch, they are even worse at kicking. Humans can't kick for shit. We're not talking about the French football team.

Turkeys might have small brains, but their eyes allow them to see "faster" than we do, so they excel at dodging--they can also pick up a single kernel of corn off the ground, so their coordination is better than a human's. They can hop backwards, to the side, or do a flying leap at you. And a flying leap means their wings are outstretched (they seem twice as big), and their beak is coming right at you, often with lots of gobbling noises, with a double kick attack (for any TTRPG fans out there this is three attacks in a round. Five if you count wing attacks. And if you think being slapped in the face with a turkey wing is not a big deal, you'd be wrong again because it can bruise your face).

This combination tends to startle most people into stumbling backwards, which is a retreat to the turkey, which only encourages them to press their advantage.

-

It's easy to trap turkeys--although this is illegal in most states. And of course it is easy to shoot them, but again, only legal during hunting season, with the proper paperwork, and most certainly not in a residential neighborhood, which is where most conflicts occur.

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NoMidnight5366 t1_j5kulqu wrote

Such an easy solution too. Get a turkey call and they come running just popping their heads up giving you such a perfect shot.

0

Mesapholis t1_j5krno6 wrote

>like we can't have people over, we can't have a barbeque," Ahlsten said.

Girl, I even have a recipe for you BBQ

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Swedenesebishhh69 t1_j5kwi0q wrote

I live in South St Paul, Minnesota, and we have a group of turkeys, I believe, 15 the last time I counted. Luckily, they mind their own business. I hope they stay cool and we can all be good neighbors.

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beardsie t1_j5lc7u2 wrote

No shit. I live in SSP as well. Turkeys everywhere around here.

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Swedenesebishhh69 t1_j5le3y6 wrote

its crazy how much wildlife is just hanging out. Its very obvious us humans stole their habitat. Deer, raccoons, turkeys, those things that look like rats with weird long nose and tail ( forgot proper name) and probably a lot more.

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beardsie t1_j5m28tg wrote

Opossums!

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Swedenesebishhh69 t1_j5m3777 wrote

yesss!!! I would've remembered 3 weeks from now at some random time and yelled out opossums!! Everyone would be like ..she must've remembered something lmao

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lathem23 t1_j5ksagz wrote

Sounds like dinner....

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CatAvailable3953 t1_j5lr60u wrote

Ben Franklin knew something when he suggested it as the national bird.

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stu8018 t1_j5nec7y wrote

12ga 3" mag 4 shot will end it real quick.

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Chard069 t1_j5sm6rc wrote

Wild turkeys do not annoy us here at mid-elevation in California's central Sierra Nevada range. Pumas and foxes keep their numbers down. 8-)

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loneranger07 t1_j5sw2b7 wrote

Just shoot it and eat it already? Jeez folks. Not too bright

1