Submitted by LlamaInATux t3_10hh93s in nottheonion
Comments
myballzhuert t1_j58i7yd wrote
Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?
InternetPeon t1_j58g2dh wrote
Whoa - a poison burrito.
I wonder if this will be the next Knives Out, Glass Onion mystery.
bookcreative t1_j58gf7o wrote
Yeah, I’m sure they have no suspects…
/s
BazilBroketail t1_j58oey4 wrote
The guys investigating...
Seriously...?
Worsel555 t1_j58vviw wrote
Rat poison could have been the safest thing in that burrito! ;)
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_j58hx9s wrote
The sheriff knows, but he was shot
Carribean-Diver t1_j58pnau wrote
There's absolutely no possible way the customer poisoned himself, hoping to sue and cash out. /s
Pterritorialdactyl t1_j58h4rl wrote
perhaps it's time to bring in THE EXPERTS
BoomChaka67 t1_j58hgg5 wrote
Well, that’s comforting
[deleted] t1_j58l39v wrote
[removed]
Rhudzen58 t1_j5bejb9 wrote
I bet he put it in himself for 15 minutes....10 minutes...... 3 minutes of fame.
Slide-Impressive t1_j594esa wrote
Seems pretty simple, get a list of line cooks working during the time the customer was poisoned and interrogate them all. Whoever's story doesn't really line up with the rest or has contradicting details , that's probably the dude
Or they poisoned themselves and called 911 for attention but that would be Munchausen's right? Pretty rare
Csmitty2112 t1_j5de9al wrote
Or he handled the rat poison while helping with yard work, didnt wash his hands, and then ate his food.
Mr_Evil_Dr_Porkchop t1_j58fmp9 wrote
It was those jerks at Mondo Burger