100% agree, this isn't really a budgeting problem this is a "we're losing money each month but my spouse doesn't care problem" which is honestly much harder to solve.

OP - there are other budgeting apps out there, or you could build your own in excel, or you could use mint/personal capital (which are more like spending trackers than budgets, but people use them). You could even update to the newer versions of YNAB, which are subscription based but which automatically pull in your transactions from your bank, which would eliminate the not tracking thing you mention in #3. But ultimately unless you and your husband get on board with a spending and savings plan none of that will do anything but let you more easily see exactly how much money you're losing each month.