Submitted by rxdrug t3_y68gbe in photoshopbattles
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ApiContraption t1_isntndt wrote
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MRflibbertygibbets t1_isnw47z wrote
Whoever took that photo is about to discover how exsanguination by bird feels. Cassowary don’t give a fuck.
[deleted] t1_isnxpbx wrote
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keeperkairos t1_iso5lfh wrote
This is almost definitely a male. Female cassowary do not incubate their eggs, nor raise the chicks. This responsibility falls on the males.
flintza t1_iso69n2 wrote
Came to say the same 😂 Bird trivia pedants unite!
ironangel2k3 t1_iso939a wrote
Photos taken seconds before disaster
Condex t1_isodi5p wrote
Yeah, I took one look at the photo and thought, "That's not just any 'bird' that's a cassowary."
So ... like, did crime scene investigators recover the photo from a mutilated mess just barely identifiable as human?
EDIT: To be fair, maybe the photo was taken by a drone or someone who can run very fast.
[deleted] t1_isohtau wrote
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AlexO6 t1_isoioew wrote
That’s no bird; that’s a dinosaur!
kmc307 t1_isojlmu wrote
All we're missing is the ham.
jobadiahh t1_isoq003 wrote
That’s not a woman, it’s a man, babe! One of dr evil’s henchmen.
[deleted] t1_isotrvk wrote
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[deleted] t1_isotu89 wrote
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Derpman2099 t1_isouoth wrote
>or someone who can run very fast.
not even usain bolt could outrun one, given that cassowaries have a top speed of around 30mph
PM_ME_YOUR_BEAMSHOTS t1_isovtng wrote
TheArcticKiwi t1_isovy3r wrote
usain bolt can run 40mph, no?
TheArcticKiwi t1_isow23r wrote
usain bolt can run 40mph, no?
tkelly17 t1_isoyfur wrote
flintza t1_isoyq3g wrote
Since people seem to be seeing this.. bird trivia pedants you should also be playing Wingspan (board or digital) if you aren’t already. Truuuuust me you’ll enjoy it 😁
Hancher t1_isoyy13 wrote
ass_pineapples t1_isp1de1 wrote
Near 40 kph. ~23 mph.
His top speed was 28 mph iirc.
AwfulAltIsAwful t1_isp1t1o wrote
But I really need that wallet man.
OrgyInTheBurnWard t1_isp286l wrote
More like cuckowary, amirite? Something something beta males.
OrgyInTheBurnWard t1_isp2f9z wrote
Alternate theory for the extinction of the dinosaurs: Cassowaries showed up and killed them all.
TheArcticKiwi t1_isp43kj wrote
ah, my bad
StatusSea5409 t1_isp5ihk wrote
My first thought was "I wonder who uploaded the picture." Those kicks don't look like a joke and that claw is a tough one.
StatusSea5409 t1_isp5qmk wrote
Comment posted twice. This one is replyless
bobwonderland t1_ispan2a wrote
Benebs- t1_ispb2m4 wrote
Why’s the T-Rex getting railed?
at_least_its_unique t1_ispblyn wrote
Caso, wary.
silentbob1301 t1_ispbtdh wrote
Murder bird....run
tkelly17 t1_ispeaci wrote
lanternkeeper t1_ispeyxk wrote
Why not?
sezel4 t1_ispf55l wrote
Murder birb
NaiveQuail69 t1_ispfqfq wrote
hamletloveshoratio t1_ispi2d3 wrote
That's what I see every time this pic pops up - a blue head and red legs
ohohButternut t1_ispl7ng wrote
Could somebody please do Green Eggs and Ham? (I do not like them, Sam I am!)
[deleted] t1_ispla46 wrote
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antiprysm t1_ispmpjb wrote
Wey-Yu t1_ispo6z0 wrote
Well that's nice another English term to remember
jk_scowling t1_isprg23 wrote
Life will, uh, find a way.
ThresherGDI t1_ispsfmm wrote
I triple-dog-dare someone to take an egg.
Hope_is_lost_ t1_ispsvv0 wrote
Can someone pls do the eggs as edamame beans? maybe have the bird ab to eat them?
GiveToOedipus t1_isputwz wrote
Just needs some green pigs now.
Whitealroker1 t1_ispwnrr wrote
“Die know Sore”
rubik-3141 t1_ispwrdx wrote
You did a great job with the reflection!
[deleted] t1_ispxr5a wrote
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immpro t1_isq06bk wrote
Uh oh..I think that bird is going to tell us about Bitcoin!
phosix t1_isq0j4l wrote
I know you're being funny, but they literally are dinosaurs; specifically ratites (and all birds) are classified as theropods, having split off from the same lineage that would give rise to velociraptors and T. Rex some 160mya. With the ratites splitting off from the rest of the avian dinosaurs around some 80mya.
Benjideaula t1_isq5bo5 wrote
Holy shit get away from there right the fuck now
ohokay13 t1_isq62vu wrote
The trick is to undercook the onions.
BananaShark_ t1_isq65y8 wrote
nam_sdrawkcab_ehT t1_isq6934 wrote
Believe it.
DragonLordofErie t1_isqd70t wrote
I feel like these would be great against enemy insurgents just raise up a bunch of them and give him a bunch of steroids and other drugs and just parachute them in I mean really what could be more surprising than 50 murderous cassowaries.
ReticulateLemur t1_isqh6bw wrote
Mine was "Run away. Those birds are assholes."
hdofu t1_isqhox1 wrote
TunisMagunis t1_isqjco4 wrote
Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot.
flingkong24 t1_isqnld5 wrote
child murder
HanaLuLu t1_isqo6y4 wrote
Literally my immediate reaction was to say, actually aloud, "That is a Cassowary, stay the frick away!!" while noting the eggs are helpfully bright green so you can spot and then avoid them from a distance
Soilbandit t1_isqpvbi wrote
deran6ed t1_isquchr wrote
Don't be a prude
[deleted] t1_isquh4k wrote
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Blues-Golfer-7171 t1_isqw43p wrote
Still Life
zip_zam_zoo t1_isqxydt wrote
I laughed to hard at this lol
OrgyInTheBurnWard t1_isr304n wrote
It doesn't look very scary. More like a six foot turkey.
cris34c t1_isr3ioc wrote
Please. Please someone do a green eggs and ham reference. I am on my KNEES.
zordabo t1_isr3quy wrote
It's already a murder bird. Razor sharp talons, they run up and rip your guts out.
Quirky_Movie t1_isrb9kl wrote
It's fucking scary.
BandicootPlastic5444 t1_isrbo40 wrote
Yeah- ballsy photo.
Pixel_Nerd92 t1_isre8gk wrote
Appropriate to be sure, but who lived to tell the tale?
MotherRaven t1_isrhifh wrote
They are dinosaurs after all.
kinslayern96 t1_isrkp4g wrote
MRflibbertygibbets t1_isrm97i wrote
That’s glorious
sphle t1_isrme9i wrote
TPMJB t1_isrn512 wrote
I think the knife makes the bird less dangerous
QueenofLeftovers t1_isrpfjm wrote
Additional fun fact they have T-Rex arms underneath their "feathers"
[deleted] t1_isrqj3m wrote
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[deleted] t1_isrs3ki wrote
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Away-Net-7241 t1_isrssq0 wrote
The bird of death, as I like to call it
sezel4 t1_isrtd1f wrote
Oh yeah, I know them well. They are so beautiful!
clh1nton t1_isrtq8i wrote
I believe that was a quote from Jurassic Park.
clh1nton t1_isrtsv0 wrote
Nope. Nope. I can't Google that. Please tell me this is a joke.
Integratedgrapes t1_isru0u5 wrote
I'm not sure if that's a war crime, but I feel like it should be.
Quirky_Movie t1_isrytp1 wrote
Birb is still ducking scary.
Alarming-Necessary69 t1_iss4o2a wrote
where did bro get the idea from
MattyBro1 t1_iss8a4b wrote
Also, I'm pretty only males have the "bent" head thing. Do those things have a proper name??
adal08 t1_iss9tje wrote
That's because you didn't see its claw and how they attack its prey...
vobre t1_issaq8x wrote
You play Rimworld, don’t you?
idobrowsemuch t1_issaqrc wrote
Here's another. Defenestrate
DragonLordofErie t1_issb1ky wrote
No but it looks interesting.
vobre t1_issc5uq wrote
You could literally do in game exactly what you described.
wju2004 t1_isscjx1 wrote
I'll take my chances with the frozen flag pole.
keeperkairos t1_issglcb wrote
It's called a casque. It could be 'bent' in either sex, but since females are larger than males and have a larger casque, any deformity could seem more pronounced.
DragonLordofErie t1_issuyj5 wrote
Very interesting and hilarious.
phosix t1_isufvls wrote
That kid had obviously never encountered a turkey.
Yeah, turkeys may be dumb, but they'll still ruin your day. A six-foot turkey would be terrifying!
phosix t1_isugqnj wrote
Of course it is! T. Rex had two fingers, birds only have one.
One long, pointy finger. And a very stubby thumb.
Picture of a cassowary wing claw: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EY0Q-5CXQAMXP15?format=png&name=small
clh1nton t1_isuryou wrote
AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH! Nonononono! But also, Happy Cake Day! But nonononono!
zordabo t1_iswm5e3 wrote
Lowest frequency call of any bird, it's a sub woofer that likes entrails.
sezel4 t1_iswo3ze wrote
They also love berries!
[deleted] t1_isxeo56 wrote
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