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B0bb3r7 t1_iyav4lq wrote

I'm surprised that 2020 COVID policies are still in effect and antagonizing families. I naively thought that these stories ended with 2021. I would have expected that healthcare providers would have found a way to be more compassionate three years into the virus.

I'm also surprised by the hostility in some of these comments. Losing a parent or a spouse is incredibly difficult. Patients and their families are experiencing some of their worst moments and are vulnerable. OP's feelings and reactions are normal. He's grieving. There's no need to kick him while he's down.

Healthcare organizations know that they're in the business of illness and grief. Professionalism and compassion is crucial and expected. Hiding behind "it's policy" is not compassionate. Printing the policy and demanding that the family read it is inflammatory and unprofessional.

Finally, it's upsetting that healthcare institutions continue to disrespect their providers. How can a healthcare provider be compassionate if their institution does not support them?

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ktxhopem3276 t1_iyb0afb wrote

The issue is the dad had direct and prolonged exposure to someone who tested Covid positive. Otherwise he would have been allowed to visit. We know this because the op actually lied and was allowed in. Maybe that is why op isn’t getting any compassion. It’s a hospital full of extremely sensitive people and they are going to prioritize saving those people’s lives. Op could have killed an immunocompromised patient with their lies and sense of entitlement. Im in favor of compassion for someone grieving but the staff has to follow the rules or they get fired.

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B0bb3r7 t1_iybhc8v wrote

Incorrect, the issue is that the hospital policy fails to acknowledge normal human behavior and was ineptly enforced.

Hospitals are profoundly disempowering. To be denied access to a loved one is dehumanizing. Of course the loved ones were going to advocate for themselves and do whatever they could to share her last moments. It is wholly unsurprising that someone would lie just to see their mother before she passes.

People cannot be expected to suppress the human experience. Hospitals already know this. They should be prepared to accommodate this compassionately rather than pay it lip service with an unresponsive Patient Experience department. It is not entitlement. To pontificate otherwise is dystopian.

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ktxhopem3276 t1_iybj7z6 wrote

The hospital prioritize life saving over compassion. Sometimes they can’t do both. Sometimes the staff is overworked and doing their best not to make a mistake that kills someone and can’t find any emotional strength to deal with someone who wants to break rules that might get someone killed. I’m not saying it doesn’t suck but to post a diatribe on Reddit months later is either entitlement or grieving in need of professional therapy.

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umbluemusic t1_iybp6s7 wrote

I’m not the OP, but it took me months to process how poorly my dads last day at UPMC Shadyside went. I appreciate how hard the job is and how grueling the work is, but they didn’t have a room to put us to deliver the news that my dad had coded during the procedure they were doing. When they called us up I was anticipating bad news (his decline was sharp and fast - the night before we had been watching NBA playoffs in his ICU room and talking). They ended up sticking us in a staff conference room, and then while we sat and waited when the doctor went to come in all the doors were locked so we had to get up and let him in. And he just looks at us and says “Mark’s heart stopped and we are doing what we can but it is likely the end” and we were just stunned. No boxes of kleenex to even blow our noses or wipe our faces. So honestly I understand the need to share this story. Maybe it helps someone else at least realize what can happen when they go to any hospital with a sick loved one - so it isn’t so jarring and shocking. I couldn’t talk about that last day calmly until 3-4 months later. That was when I contacted UPMC to share all of my concerns (there were many others, such as how he went all night in the ICU and no one noticed he was unresponsive and hypoxic. You’d think checks would have happened regularly enough that someone would have realized it.

And saying someone needs professional therapy as though it’s a bad thing is crappy as well. I needed therapy after losing my dad and many people use therapy to help them manage. It doesn’t mean they can’t ever talk about hard things or share them.

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ktxhopem3276 t1_iybqjwz wrote

Getting professional therapy is good thing! People should complain if they think a medical mistake was made or if they think there are things that can be changed and made better in the future. But I also think op is acting entitled and above the rules and overly harsh on the staff that we’re just trying to keep the other people in the hospital safe.

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pedantic_comments t1_iydebd9 wrote

You are free to die at home if you can’t understand or follow quarantine in a hospital, fam.

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