I’m not the OP, but it took me months to process how poorly my dads last day at UPMC Shadyside went. I appreciate how hard the job is and how grueling the work is, but they didn’t have a room to put us to deliver the news that my dad had coded during the procedure they were doing. When they called us up I was anticipating bad news (his decline was sharp and fast - the night before we had been watching NBA playoffs in his ICU room and talking). They ended up sticking us in a staff conference room, and then while we sat and waited when the doctor went to come in all the doors were locked so we had to get up and let him in. And he just looks at us and says “Mark’s heart stopped and we are doing what we can but it is likely the end” and we were just stunned. No boxes of kleenex to even blow our noses or wipe our faces. So honestly I understand the need to share this story. Maybe it helps someone else at least realize what can happen when they go to any hospital with a sick loved one - so it isn’t so jarring and shocking. I couldn’t talk about that last day calmly until 3-4 months later. That was when I contacted UPMC to share all of my concerns (there were many others, such as how he went all night in the ICU and no one noticed he was unresponsive and hypoxic. You’d think checks would have happened regularly enough that someone would have realized it.

And saying someone needs professional therapy as though it’s a bad thing is crappy as well. I needed therapy after losing my dad and many people use therapy to help them manage. It doesn’t mean they can’t ever talk about hard things or share them.