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ArmSpiritual9007 t1_j358b9d wrote

That would be a good point, however no one in this entire country walks anymore. Drive down any road and you will see the sidewalks empty. Providence, short of a few select streets, is dead. I regularely run outside on sidewalks with my son, and I feel the machine apocalypse has already happened. No one is outside anymore. You are furthermore under the assumption that a driver does not see pedestrians, nor do they slow down if they feel the need to. You are perhaps under the assumption, that a "speed limit driver" in the right lane of the highway is a better driver simply due to speed, despite the fact that a speeder might move over for a disabled vehicle.

I might make the case that a speed limit driver becomes over confident in their safety and begins checking their phone since they dont need to pay attention to their snail pace.

Actually, the speed limit driver must be unattentive to the road as they are too busy attending to signage rather than getting an instinctive feel for the road. They are more concerned about following arbitrarily picked numbers on white signs than attending to what is in front of them. They stare at the spedometer. I wonder what other random signage they are paying attention to, such as city skylines and other non-important driving details on the road.

You are also arguing that a particular speed is dangerous, when that is not true. RI has massively slower roads than MA. RI has no problem throwing 25 MPH signs on two lane road that should be 45 MPH. Route 1A is a great example of this, the minute you cross into RI the speed limit drops to something unreasonable with speed cameras all over the place. This is particularly frustrating, since speed limits do not scale with the amount of traffic: Roads after 7:00 PM are vastly more empty, and therefore safer to drive on at higher speeds.

So let me ask you this: Given that 1A is roughly the same commecial density in MA as it is in RI, does that mean MA drivers are worse than RI drivers?

Consider 2 streets completely identical in all ways. If the one is MA is 45 MPH, and the one is RI is 25 MPH, are the two drivers equal?

I would actually argue that RI drivers are far worse and incapable than faster drivers, since fast drivers get more experience on the road year over year.

Actually, using my prior argument, fast drivers literally have more time to drive and practice defensive driving because they save time in their lives, making them more experienced because they can literally do more year over year.

Now, for those older folk who think I hate slow drivers, I don't. I have no problem with older slower reaction people driving an inconvenient 35 in a 35 if they can not drive faster. We all will be that age. I do have a problem with people projecting their incapacities on to me, and limiting what I am fully capable of doing.

I am not going to convince you, and it really doesnt matter to me. The signs on the road control how much of your life you live, and you choose not to live it. The speed limit drivers are going to contribute to unnessary traffic by driving the speed limit (which, even in the middle lane causes issues, since all the 70 MPH drivers go into the right lane 80 MPH lane, which causes backups where there otherwise would be none). That ultimately slows down the entire flow of traffic, for the average speeder and safe driver, causing delays for a wide swath of people who want to get home and spend approximately 3 more minutes daily with their children every day. And while those 3 minutes dont sound like alot, that is 13 hours over the year that a father might get to spend tossing their child up into the air when they return home, and yes, yhise 3 minutes are important. The vast majority of people don't actually drive the speed limit, they feel the road, and speed limit drivers are contributing to road danger because they are overly zealous in following signs rather than paying attention to the road.

As the roads become more and more filled and delayed by slow drivers, we can all enjoy the additional destruction of the forest, since our existing capacity will be filled at 60 MPH, where 80 MPH may very well alleviate the traffic issues.

For anyone upvoting me: My own personal protest to speed cameras is avoiding businesses that include driving near speed cameras, and driving down what otherwise would have been quiet side streets. I dont want to deal with staring at my spedometer making sure my needle is exactly at 20, because any less and the driver behind me may get frustrated and cause a road rage incident. I hope others follow my protest, as this needs to start hurting businesses so that the government does something to fix this. I can tell you, some local business have lost thousands in my business because of this.

Enjoy the final point, as I won't be writing back: I have more important things to do with my time, but you may want to reconsider what you do with yours.

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anemonemometer t1_j37jsdk wrote

that’s a very long reply to begin with an incorrect first sentence.

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ArmSpiritual9007 t1_j380ndt wrote

If you think I am wrong, kindly go to google maps satellite view and show me pedestrians walking on the sidewalk.

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anemonemometer t1_j388rqs wrote

I walk to work every day. Sure, there are more cars than people. But I’m not the only one waking out there. Lots of people walk.

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jconti1233 t1_j3701rw wrote

> important things to do with my time, but you may want to reconsider what you do with y

honest recommendation: if you want to save time driving, just drive less miles.

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ArmSpiritual9007 t1_j3a0ko5 wrote

You know I think you are trying to be honest and trying to be kind to me so I'll be honest with you.

While you have a point, That I think what you really mean is for me to simplify my life. Boy would I love to do that. However unfortunately simplifying my life isn't that simple.

Even with the benefits that I could hypothetically work remotely directly from my home that's not possible. You'll notice that I'm subscribed to a number of autism Forums. I am a special needs parent.

I visited my son's neurologist today to discuss my 3 year olds progress. My son entered the doctor's office, and began flipping chairs. He dumped a number of boxes on the floor, and continued to flip a lightswitch on and off. He was trying to tell me that he didnt want to be there, but my son is speech delayed and does not have the same capabilities as a normal 3 year old. The neurologist watching him was concerned about his behavior.

The neurologist asked me how he can help. My specific words to him were "I have reached my global maximum, and there is nothing more I can do". He understood, but let me tell you, without experiencing an autistic child, it is impossible for anyone else to truly understand.

I have marginal "help" from my wife, and I am constantly "debating" her over my son's special needs, while she is busy being unhealthily addicted to her phone and instagram, basically leaving all parenting responsibilities to me. She is extremely controlling and will not do anything I suggest. my son is seeping at 8:30 today, becase he did not get the 2 hour mother neglect nap that he normally gets when around my wife all day. This is because I have forcefully enrolled him in ABA, despite my wife trying o keep him out of it for no explicable reason. She would, and does, yell at me for allowing him to stay up until 10:00 or 11:00 we I fully explained that the 2 hour naps are causing this and she needs to be more involved. I had explain this to the neurologist as well. Today, he understood. I explained it to him 3 months ago, and last time he visited he thought I was the problem.

My time is fully saturated. You may laugh at my calculations, but when you only have 30 minutes a day at 10:30, any time savings are critical. As I write this, I am duel functioning as a scratching post for my son. I am incapacitated, and if I don't allow him to scratch me, he wont drink his milk and will start throwing things and screaming. I allow him to do this because with an autistic child, you must pick and choose your battles.

Regarding driving, I have no further optimizations I can make. I have no time to call people. I have no time for myself in general. I cried driving to my son's ABA therapy, because your post came to mind that I should "simpify my life", when you don't know the living hell that every day is. The reality is, I am so busy, I am now missing work because I need to raise my son and bring him to appointments. I can't trust my wife with my son because she explodes a him, and when she isn't doing that she's on instagram and TV is raising my son, which is especially bad for autistic children.

I told, very confidently to the neurologist, that there is nothing anyone can do for me. He knew not to challenge it. Unless you can recommend some sort of force multiplier so that I can become at minimum 5 of myself, then there is literally nothing you can do me. I mean the genuinely, if you have something for me, send it my way. There is no one I can count on to provide me a break.

Now, you don't care about my sad sob story, but I assure you there are other people like me, and there are other people with equally challenging problems. And, those people are also probably driving too.

But to go back to driving, my son may literally throw a hotwheels cars at me, or be screaming incredibly loud and unconrtollable in the truck. I might literally miss a 25 MPH sign because I am attempting to pay attention to the road. Is that fair? Are you going to say I shouldn't drive? What if I need to go to a neurologist appointment that has no bus or train stop?

Now, to meet you half-way: My "beef" isnt with the speed cameras, it is that they are too inhuman and inflexible. My recommendation instead would be to change them so that these stupid 25 MPH zones trigger at 39.5 MPH, and the resultant bill someone receives is something like $500. The other option would be to train an AI to distinguish asshole drivers from average drivers. People break laws all day, your probably breaking on right now that you are unaware of.

For whatever it is worth, I hope you have a good evening. If you see someone struggling with their child, it might not be a bad parent. If you see the child going especially crazy, you might even try to redirect the child with a puppy you have (2 strangers have done so for me). Go be nice to some random stranger, and if someone asks you to "break the rules" and they have a 3 year old with you, for the love of god just look the other way. Your kindess will probably make someone cry.

And just so you know that there's a human on the other side of this, I'm probably going to go cry in the shower mulling my life over.

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jconti1233 t1_j3ia2gz wrote

Damn dude. Fwiw, it sounds like youre doing the best job possible. I'm embarrassed to admit that if I were in your situation Im not positive I'd be strong as you, i could cave-in just like your wife. I feel for you though, wife and I have a 2 month old but you're right that I can't truly understand how rough it's been for you and your wife. But in my world my wife and me's teamwork has been pivotal. Your son will always have autism but you could work on the teamwork in your marriage. Easier said than done, I know, but at least, cut yourself some slack. You're doing a bangup job, better than most people could.

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