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nelson64 t1_j5wob0j wrote

Reply to comment by JoeFortune1 in The owner of Rebelle Bagel was just named as 2023 James Beard Award Semifinalist by lestermagnum

I know, I’m just saying that this sub is so fixated on her that it’s weird how much attention they give her.

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rustybullrake t1_j5yv4h7 wrote

There's definitely some intersectional circlejerking going on, but I've personally witnessed her lean into berating one of her employees, fully in front of all the customers on a busy day at Rebelle. I haven't been back since.

She appears to have legitimate emotional regulation issues, which she compensates for by framing herself as a perpetual underdog pitted against "the haters."

Given the apparent regularity of distasteful real life, social media, and review-responding incidents, the resulting widespread dislike for her isn't all that surprising to me. Reddit loves outrage and righteous indignation.

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nelson64 t1_j605n2k wrote

I feel like it’s all about perspective. Like if she was a personal friend, maybe we’d tell her “hey that wasn’t cool” or disagree with her, but we wouldn’t drag her and obsess over how HORRIBLE she is.

Also not to pull THAT card, but as a latino myself, while her reactions are big, it’s not anything that’s really shocking to me. Not tryina excuse any of the behavior, it’s just interesting to see people get so fixated on her when a ton of other business owners are doing actual fucked up shit.

I mean I just saw a story on ig today complaining about how she was born into wealth and handed everything when like, if you do two seconds of research you’d see she grew up pretty modestly in Puerto Rico and got into MIT, say what you will about her, but she’s definitely worked hard.

Not trying to be a fanboy or anything, but it’s just frustrating seeing how much energy is put into one of the few latina small business owners in Providence and I regularly see people saying to “separate the artist from the art” about a ton of asshole white male business owners.

Again, people can feel however they want about her. It’s just frustrating as a fellow Caribbean latino seeing how much others are cut slack after repeatedly being like truly awful. I’m not gonna air out anyone’s dirty laundry, but if you look into a bunch of Providence’s most loved small businesses, way more fucked up shit is happening than an owner who “has emotional regulation issues”.

I always end up typing waaaay more than I mean to in these threads lol. I just really love Little Sister as a Cuban-American living in Rhode Island. It may not be Cuban food, but it’s as close as you can get here and she has personally always treated me with extreme kindness and gratitude.

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rustybullrake t1_j62ac3w wrote

Yeah the double standard is real and BS. Like I said, intersectional circlejerk. I have no trouble believing there wouldn't be nearly as much enthusiastic anger about her if she were a white man (and her behavior in that case would likely be viewed as typical). I definitely feel like the less I know about local business owners, the better, else I'll be out of places to eat at. I'm sure having an acerbic social media presence is small potatoes compared to what's out there.

I totally understand separating the artist from the art, and I'm glad you're able to and that you haven't had any negative interactions. I've heard nothing but good things about the food at Little Sister. If it were just the online drama and rumors I'd probably go, but I can't in good conscience support her businesses after seeing it firsthand. Mistreating staff is a deal breaker for me. More's the pity.

The drama over her online behavior was amusing before it started to become apparent that it's a compulsion for her. Just look at her replies to reviews on Google. As such, I think the intentionally inflammatory framing of posts like this one is in poor taste. I don't get any enjoyment out of folks who aren't in a position to help themselves being goaded into acting out. But at the same time it's complicated since she's a pseudo public figure who readily feeds into it? I don't know. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Anyway, thanks for the perspective. Enjoy the food for me!

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nelson64 t1_j64ba6t wrote

Haha I will! And yes exactly. Not our circus not our monkeys. Like sure maybe sometimes she's "looking" for it, but as we've already said, people on here fixate on everything she does. Like she could just post a funny shitty review that any other business would also post and suddenly it's an obsessive post about how awful she is.

People have bad days and good days. I also don't take kindly to speaking unkindly to employees and I have been to both establishments enough that I have witnessed her getting a little agitated with an employee. But I've never heard her say anything despicable. Is her tone not the nicest? Sure. Those conversations shouldn't take place in front of customers because it makes everyone involved uncomfortable.

But I've definitely noticed her kindly ask her employees to step to the back now whenever she wants to give feedback and speak more timidly and try to be conscious of her attitude. I always sat right at the first seat at the bar at Little Sister.

I've become pretty chummy with all the employees there now and they all seem to like her a lot more than past employees have. So maybe she's being more conscientious of how she's coming off and what her intention actually is?

Either way I'm not here to psychoanalyze a restaurant owner. It's just frustrating that people on this sub can't see their clear bias in how they react to her. It's not that she does nothing wrong, it's that the way they treat her and react to her is incongruent with how they would act if the same exact actions were taken by a white dude.

It's like the whole Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp situation. The way people behaved towards Amber Heard while maybe "deserved" was still completely different to how they behaved towards similar accusations about Johnny or other men throughout the years. It's like it goes overboard but you can't get through to people and show them their bias cus they can argue that whatever is being done by the woman (or minority) is still BAD. So they "deserve" it.

Same concept as to how latinos and especially black people get heftier prison sentences. Sure they committed the crime, but the treatment against them is still way worse than it would be if it were a white man.

I mean imagine Trump behaving exactly like Milena. He'd look like the most well behaved orthodox Amish timid boy you've ever seen compared to his usual antics.

Lol sorry my adderall juuuuust kicked in.

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FrutaFertil t1_j609zx0 wrote

Wow the armchair psychiatric diagnosis of someone you’ve barely brushed shoulders with is bananas. The haters are real, judging by this thread and your comment. I guess in that sense she is the underdog.

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rustybullrake t1_j622hx6 wrote

It's not diagnosis, just casual observation of repeated and consistent patterns of behavior.

Compulsively replying to quite literally every single fractionally negative comment is part of what I mean when by emotional regulation issues. It would suggest an inability to self-soothe.

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FrutaFertil t1_j67buq9 wrote

Idk just cruising thru google I can see she literally replies to ALL the reviews. Not just the bad ones, but the good ones as well. I have to say I don’t know of any other local business where the owner takes the time to respond to every single review, even to say thank you. That’s unusual but ultimately good in my eyes.

I still don’t think you’re in a position to be “diagnosing” people you don’t know. Says as much about you as you think it says about her. Just don’t go there, don’t give her your money and don’t give it your attention! Go live your life

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rustybullrake t1_j68ouj7 wrote

It's not diagnosis, just casual observation of repeated and consistent patterns of behavior.

>Says as much about you as you think it says about her.

It doesn't, but I can understand why you might feel the need to tell yourself it does. Vulnerability is a difficult feeling to sit with.

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JoeFortune1 t1_j5y2z7f wrote

To me it’s not that weird since I have had an odd, off-putting interaction with her at the bagel shop

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