That does sound rather cruel. There is certainly a lot of frustration floating around the house.

I would say that you should attempt to do a quid-pro-quo situation. Do something he likes in exchange for a favor you want. While he shouldn't NEED to have a favor given to him in exchange for basic house chores, he may be in a mind space that would appreciate that sort of situation.

If that doesn't work, then you may need to have a serious discussion about your health, how the relationship is stagnating, and what you want to do to save it.

If he takes it badly, then you may have to weigh your options for moving on. Being in a toxic situation long term, especially with health issues to deal with ontop of everything else, is going to leave you in a place that is REALLY hard to get out of.

You're still relatively young and could bounce back from a shitty marriage. I've dated divorced people and had wonderful times. You have options, don't forget that.