Why do you want to date someone who does this? She obviously doesn't respect you. Even if you were having issues in the bedroom it's wildly inappropriate for her to be shit talking you like that.

I'd also have to question why to her ex? Why does she need him to know she's so sexually unsatisfied? She's 30. There's no way she doesn't know this is fucked up. She's definitely laying the groundwork for him to swoop in like a knight in a shining codpiece.

I'd leave her. You're not 16 anymore. Adults don't act like this if they are actually invested in their relationship. There are a tonnes of women out there who would be a better partner.