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BeltalowdaOPA22 t1_jeglaib wrote

This is entirely a you problem. They are not kissing. And if you are jealous of your boyfriends relationships with his family, you should be seeing a therapist to work through your insecurities.

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smellyrox t1_jegn6fs wrote

I mean how do you define close? She said that they have a “weirdly close” relationship and I agree. It’s too close for comfort and idk what to do about it. like he treats her almost as if he’s dating her and it’s weird to me because I would be uncomfy if my brother did that. My brother and I are close but I’m not really trying to share food with my bros

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BeltalowdaOPA22 t1_jegnsoj wrote

If you find it creepy, you should not be dating him. But as you can see from this thread, no one else thinks that sharing food is inappropriate behavior, only you do.

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smellyrox t1_jegqb4r wrote

I mean it’s creepy because she’s practically naked all the time when doing so and he’s made sexual jokes about her.

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lucky_duck01 t1_jeguisu wrote

Then dump him. You're making replies trying to justify how weird you think it is for people to share food. Sharing food isn't weird. So you say "well they do this weird thing too", okay that isn't weird enough, "well they do this weird thing too."

So dump the dude and move on. You obviously have an issue with his sister, so leave. His sister isn't going anywhere, especially if they're as close as you claim they are.

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EvenOrchid6345 t1_jegktmo wrote

Sharing food is not anywhere close to kissing. Imagine saying "I feel jealous of your little sister because you share sandwiches". Please reexamine your life and figure out where you got an idea like this, erase this and any other idea that came from that source. Professional help would not be out of line.

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smellyrox t1_jegl7ik wrote

She’s not even little, she’s only 4 years younger. Like if she were a kid I’d be like okay that’s fine but because she’s not, it seems inappropriate to me, no?

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EvenOrchid6345 t1_jegnitk wrote

No. Super no. It's worrying to me that you seem to be sexualizing a normal sibling relationship, and I more strongly suggest you speak to someone about your own childhood and sibling relationship. 😬

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jegmhq7 wrote

Your jealous of him sharing food with his sister, something that's pretty normal amongst family members. Your making a none issue a thing because of your own messed up views.

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smellyrox t1_jegnorb wrote

What of my views are messed up? That I think sharing food with your grown sister as a grown man is kinda weird and gross? I’m curious about what you think.

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BeltalowdaOPA22 t1_jegqr2x wrote

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Don't ask for advice if you're going to argue with every single person who doesn't tell you what you want to hear.

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smellyrox t1_jegrabf wrote

I guess I’m just trying to get explanations so I know what the general consensus is. I grew up abused so my judgement on a lot of things is a little skewed sometimes and the only want to make sense of it is to get other peoples thought processes and rationalizations. I’m not arguing to be obtuse, I’m arguing to genuinely learn things that weren’t taught to me when they needed to be taught to me

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jego6w0 wrote

Your sexualizing a relationship between siblings.

Sharing food and kissing are two very different activities and neither are actually connected especially not between siblings.

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smellyrox t1_jegpd5r wrote

They’re super weird with each other and she’s always wearing the tiniest clothes. Is it abnormal for me to sexualize their relationship when I don’t think I could be that comfortable being nearly as naked around my brother unless I were at the beach? In combination with their super close attachment and constant touching, sexual jokes, and sharing food? Like am i really that wrong for hating the dynamic because it feels incestual to me?

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jegq95f wrote

Sexual jokes are weird depending on contacts.

But for most siblings they don't actually view their siblings in a sexual way regardless of what they're wearing so yes being paranoid about her clothes says more about your insecurities than it does about their relationship.

If it bothers you so much reconsider the relationship.

Normal siblings don't think anything of their siblings body or in the same sphere as a sexual partner.

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peakpenguins t1_jegkd71 wrote

Total non-issue to me...

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Logical-Wasabi7402 t1_jegsypl wrote

I share food with my family too but we usually use a fork and a knife instead of simply eating from the same spot on a burger.

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peakpenguins t1_jegtlyg wrote

Sure, but some people don't mind eating from the same spot. Hell, I've taken a sip from my brother's drink, same with my husband and his sister. It's okay to not be comfortable with that but acting like it's some kind of incestual thing is just weird.

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Logical-Wasabi7402 t1_jegtptk wrote

Hm. Good point. For some reason I saw it as different from sharing straws but it really isn't. Thanks for that.

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smellyrox t1_jegkyfk wrote

Really? I come from a family that shares food but I kinda stopped doing that as I got older because the idea of getting my brothers saliva all over my food kinda grossed me out a little. Is it not like kissing your sibling or ..?

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peakpenguins t1_jegl3wh wrote

If you feel it's like kissing your sibling and aren't comfortable with it then you're welcome to not share food with your siblings. But he obviously doesn't feel that way and that's totally fine too.

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smellyrox t1_jegm42a wrote

So I shouldn’t tell him it makes me uncomfortable? They’re super close, his sister has even said that they’re “weirdly close” and I think this aspect is part of the weird close and it grosses me out every time it happens

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TieSpirited2509 t1_jegmo98 wrote

The only one sexualizing these exchanges is you. Don’t be that person.

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TattooPuddle t1_jegl8ft wrote

Every family is different. My family and I share food all the time and it's not a big deal.

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smellyrox t1_jegmcvh wrote

I used to share food in my family until I got a little older and it just got kinda gross for me but I think it bothers me more that it’s between siblings, where saliva is being exchanged, etc. it makes me uncomfortable. Should I tell him? Would that be weird?

−1

TattooPuddle t1_jegmt87 wrote

I wouldn't bring up that you're jealous because that's fucking weird. If it weirds you out, sure, but don't expect things to change because, again, it's not that big of a deal.

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smellyrox t1_jego48v wrote

Their relationship is weird. She (20F) said so herself and I agree. Like they weird me out and this is one thing that I’m like??? Gross? Is it not gross?

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TattooPuddle t1_jegohp7 wrote

No, I don't find it gross.

If you don't like the relationship that much, just leave. He can find someone that doesn't sexualize the relationship with his sister.

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Billmatic- t1_jego8s4 wrote

bring it up to him, but don't be surprised when it changes the light in which he views you, and also makes him wonder what other screwed up thoughts are in that head of yours.

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smellyrox t1_jegq76b wrote

How would it change how he views me?

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Billmatic- t1_jegrtyk wrote

him thinking you're a creep. wondering to himself if you're the type of person he wants to move forward with. pique his curiosity regarding what other things you have distorted views on.

if he did the same with younger brother of the same age as his sister, would you even bat an eye?

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Embarrassed_Advice59 t1_jegpmk0 wrote

Do you have any other examples? Like this doesn’t seem inappropriate at all. Siblings share food…

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smellyrox t1_jegq2pm wrote

I mean she’s always wearing the tiniest clothes around him and they’re always touching each other and he’s made sexual jokes about her. It all bothers me, just this one is the one I’m really annoyed about because it happened the most recent

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